幽默: 新装载的丈夫软体

问题：新装载的丈夫软体  

亲爱的技术服务，
去年我从男朋友5.0升级到丈夫1.0 之后意外发现整个系统全部放慢，尤其是在鲜花和珠宝功能方面。在男友5.0阶段这些功能都是超强的。

丈夫1.0还莫名其妙地卸载了很多重要程序，其中就包括浪漫9.5和个人关心6.5，并且还装载了如下很讨厌的程序。 

橄榄球5.0

足球3.0

高尔夫4.1

对话8.0干脆完全罢工，房间整理2.6也已经整个瘫痪。

请注意我已经尝试使用唠叨5.3修复程序，但是效果甚微。

我下一步应该如何做？

签名：无头苍蝇

亲爱的无头苍蝇，
首先，请记住，　男友5.0是一个娱乐程序系统，而丈夫1.0属于功用系统。　

请键入指令：我以为你曾爱我.html,　然后下载眼泪6.2。不要忘了装载忏悔3.0当前版。

如果这些软体有效，你会看到丈夫1.0自动启动珠宝2.0和鲜花3.5。

但是，请记住，过多使用这些软体会造成丈夫1.0默认成老蔫儿2.5，泡吧7.0，或者啤酒6.1。

注意啤酒6.1是一个非常不良的程序。它可能会下载放屁和大声呼噜ｂｅｔａ

无论如何，切忌安装丈母娘1.0　（会在背景里衍生病毒，以致最终控制你的整个系统）
 另外，不要尝试再次安装男友5.0。这是一个不支持软件最终会造成丈夫1.0瘫痪。

总而言之，丈夫1.0是一个不错的程序，但是记忆有限，而且学习新功能很慢。倒是有一些软体可以提高记忆和功效。我们建议厨艺3.0和性感内衣7.7。

祝你好运，

技术服务

gl译自原文：INSTALLING A HUSBAND
>
>
> Dear Tech Support,
>
> Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
> distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the
> flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under
> Boyfriend 5.0.
>
> In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such
> as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed
> undesirable programs such as
>
> Rugby 5.0,
> Football 3.0 and
> Golf Clubs 4.1.
>
> Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes
> the system.
>
> Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
> but to no avail.
>
> What can I do?
>
> Signed,
>
> Desperate.
>
>
>
> DEAR DESPERATE,
>
> First, keep in mind,
> Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an
> operating system.
>
> Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears
> 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
> If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
> automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
>
> However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband
> 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
> Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the
> Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
>
> Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law
> 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize
> control of all your system resources.)
>
> In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend
> 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband
> 1.0.
>
> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
> memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
> buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We
> recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
>
> Good Luck!
>
> Tech Support
>

[阿卡卡]

haha........