男女关系中的数学逻辑
(2010-07-15 16:06:01)
下一个
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
办公室数学 精明的老板+精明的雇员=带来利润;精明的老板+愚蠢的雇员=生产成果;愚蠢的老板+精明的雇员=促进销售;愚蠢的老板+愚蠢的雇员=加班加点;
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
购物数学 男人总是花 20块钱买他需要的价值10块钱的东西 女人总是花10块钱买她不需要的价值20快钱的东西
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
一般方程与统计 女人在找到老公之前总是为未来担心 ;男人在找到老婆之后才开始担心未来;成功的男人标志是挣的钱足够他太太花费;成功女人的标志是她找到了这样的先生
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
幸福 要想与一个男人幸福地相守,你必须对他多理解多点,爱的少点; 要想与一个女人幸福地生活,你必须尽量爱她的多点,而不要试图去理解她
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
改变的倾向 女人嫁给一个男人,希望他会发生改变,而他却做不到; 男人娶一个女人,希望她不会变化,而她却改变了。
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
争论技巧 女人对任何争论都拥有最后的决断; 任何问题在男人提出来之后都会变成一场新的争论。
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
阻止众人催你结婚的方法 每次参加婚礼,姨母姑母们都唠唠叨叨的对我说:“下一个轮到你啦”。我在葬礼上用同一句话回敬她们之后,她们以后便不再这样做了。
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.