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飞哥版vs“羞先”版《出师表》的英文翻译

(2018-01-01 07:18:44) 下一个

飞哥版vs羞先版《出师表》的英文翻译

网络真是个神奇世界。最近,近两千年前的诸葛亮的《出师表》意外暴红网络。其原因固然有《军师联盟》的始作俑,更有演员王洛勇大气而标准的英文朗诵这一大作而推的波、助的澜。不过,看到这令人贻笑大方的英文版《出师表》,用《白鹿原》的一句话来讲,就是简直是羞先人哪!飞哥不由得义愤填膺、拍案而起。

《出师表》以其精炼而至诚的文风,展现了诸葛亮的雄才大略和他为国鞠躬尽瘁、死而后已的忠义之志。以下是《出师表》的全文 (熟悉者可略过):

臣亮言:先帝创业未半而中道崩殂。今天下三分,益州疲敝,此诚危急存亡之秋也。然侍卫之臣不懈于内,忠志之士忘身于外者,盖追先帝之殊遇,欲报之于陛下也。诚宜开张圣听,以光先帝遗德,恢弘志士之气,不宜妄自菲薄,引喻失义,以塞忠谏之路也。
亲小人,远贤臣,此后汉所以倾颓也。先帝在时,每与臣论此事,未尝不叹息痛恨于桓、灵也。

臣本布衣,躬耕于南阳,苟全性命于乱世,不求闻达于诸侯。先帝不以臣卑鄙,猥自枉屈,三顾臣于草庐之中,咨臣以当世之事。由是感激,遂许先帝以驱驰。
先帝知臣谨慎,故临崩寄臣以大事也。受命以来,夙夜忧叹,恐托付不效,以伤先帝之明。

今南方已定,兵甲已足。当奖率三军,北定中原,庶竭驽钝,攘除奸凶,兴复汉室,还于旧都。此臣所以报先帝  而忠陛下之职分也。愿陛下托臣以讨贼兴复之效。不效,则治臣之罪,以告先帝之灵。陛下亦宜自谋,以咨诹善道, 察纳雅言,深追先帝遗诏。臣不胜感激。

今当远离。临表涕零,不知所言。

以下是“羞先”版的英文翻译,作者不详,疑似王洛勇所作,来自网络的流行版。因为实在是太差了,版权问题就免了吧。(没兴趣看者,可略过。)

Permit me to observe:
The late emperor was taken from us before he could finish his life's work, the restoration of the Han.

Today,the empire is still divided in three, and our very survival is threatened. Yet still the officials at court and the soldiers throughout the realm remain loyal to you, your majesty. Because they remember the late emperor, all of them, and they wish to repay his kindness in service to you.

This is the moment to extend your divine influence, to honour the memory of the late emperor and strengthen the morale of your officers. It is not the time to listen to bad advice, or close your ears to the suggestions of loyal men.

The emperors of the Western Han chose their courtiers wisely, and their dynasty flourished. The emperors of the Eastern Han chose poorly, and they doomed the empire to ruin. Whenever the late Emperor discussed this problem with me, he lamented the failings of Emperors Huan and Ling.

I began as a common man, farming in my fields in Nanyang, doing what i could to survive in an age of chaos. I never had any interest in making a name for myself as a noble. The late Emperor was not ashamed to visit my cottage and seek my advice. Grateful for his regards, I responded to his appeal and threw myself into his service.

The late Emperor always appreciated my caution and, in his final days, entrusted me with his cause. Since that moment, I have been tormented day and night by the fear that i might let him down. That is why I crossed the Lu river at the height of summer, and entered the wastelands beyond.

Now the south has been subdued, and our forces are fully armed. I should lead our soldiers to conquer the northern heartland and attempt to remove the hateful traitors, restore thee house of Han, and return it to the former capital.
This is the way I mean to honor my debt to the late Emperor and fulfill my duty to you. My only desire is to be permitted to drive out the traitors and restore the Han. If I should let you down, punish my offense and report it to the spirit of the late Emperor.

Your Majesty, consider your course of action carefully. Seek out good advice, and never forget the last words of the late Emperor.

I depart now on a long expedition, and I will be forever grateful if you heed my advice.

Blinded by my own tears, I know not what I write.

这个版本的最大问题就是漏翻,而且没有按照英文的常用讲法来进行对等翻译,而且错误百出。比如把“先帝”翻成“late emperor”,简直太狗血了。

古汉语的美在于她用字的精准和韵律,寥寥数字,就可以勾勒出无穷的意境。当译成英文时就会很罗嗦。当然,反之亦然。每种文字都有它的优势所在。因此在翻译过程中,用字要尽量简洁、大气,以不伤愿意为准则,同时力求文风对等。

以下是飞哥的尝试,欢迎诸位看客不吝评论和文明拍砖。

《出师表》即是诸葛亮出兵伐魏前,给刘禅的表奏以嘱诸多事宜,以安后方。因此,它应该是 report or advice。但是翻成report又没有了文学意境。因此,觉得翻成letter更好些。以下是逐句对译:


《出师表》 A letter before leaving for battles

臣亮言:先帝创业未半而中道崩殂。今天下三分,益州疲敝,此诚危急存亡之秋也。Your humble servant, Liang, has words to say: The previous Majesty started the mission of resuming Han Dynasty but was unfortunately deceased even before the half way to achieve. Nowadays,the country has been divided into three.Yizhou,as our home base, has been inflicted by wars thus still in poverty,this is indeed the pivotal time as to be or not to be. 

然侍卫之臣不懈于内,忠志之士忘身于外者,盖追先帝之殊遇,欲报之于陛下也。The civil officials,however,are working diligently on civilian affairs and the loyal soldiers are fighting without fear in defending the kingdom.These humble servants still owe the gratitude to the previous Emperor's honor toward them. All because of their gratitude, they want to pay it back to you, your Majesty. 

诚宜开张圣听,以光先帝遗德,恢弘志士之气,不宜妄自菲薄,引喻失义,以塞忠谏之路也。What needed now is to open your noble hearing for advice, to propagate the previous Majesty's legacy, to restore the ambitious sages' morale, but not to look down on ourselves, not to cause confusion through inappropriate wording, so that the loyal and constructive advice will not be inaccessible. 

亲小人,远贤臣,此后汉所以倾颓也。先帝在时,每与臣论此事,未尝不叹息痛恨于桓、灵也。Closely connecting with hypocrites and yet excluding the talented officials,this was the reason that the Eastern Han was fallen.When alive, the previous Majesty always felt regretful and blamed the Emperor of Huan and Ling whenever he discussed the dooming fate of the dynasty with me.

臣本布衣,躬耕于南阳,苟全性命于乱世,不求闻达于诸侯。先帝不以臣卑鄙,猥自枉屈,三顾臣于草庐之中,咨臣以当世之事。由是感激,遂许先帝以驱驰。Coming from the lower social status, this humble servant cultivated a farm in Nanyang and didn't want to have a fame in the Barons. The previous Majesty didn't look down on my low social status but to put aside his noble pride to reach me three times in my cottage and asked my advice on the nation wide affairs. I was so touched that I promised to join him to fight.

先帝知臣谨慎,故临崩寄臣以大事也。受命以来,夙夜忧叹,恐托付不效,以伤先帝之明。The previous Majesty knew that I was cautious and dependable. So he let me in charge of the kingdom in interim after he passed away. With the mission on my shoulder,my night is always sleepless with sighs and fear in case my ability is not as expected so that the wisdom of the previous Majesty might be insulted. 

今南方已定,兵甲已足。当奖率三军,北定中原,庶竭驽钝,攘除奸凶,兴复汉室,还于旧都。此臣所以报先帝  而忠陛下之职分也。愿陛下托臣以讨贼兴复之效。不效,则治臣之罪,以告先帝之灵。陛下亦宜自谋,以咨诹善道, 察纳雅言,深追先帝遗诏。臣不胜感激。Now the peace on southern boarder has been made, the troops and the armor have been well prepared.This is the time to encourage the troops to start the war in the central country in the north. Even with my limited wisdom, I have committed to wipe out the sabotage traitors, resume the Han's reign, and relocate back to the previous capital.It is my duty to console the previous Emperor's soul at heaven and be loyal to your Majesty. Please, your Majesty, let me take this mission to get rid of the traitors to reclaim our Han dynasty. If no accomplishment made, I would like to take the blame and be punished so that the previous Majesty's soul at heaven could be informed.Your Majesty, please use your wise judgment to ask for constructive suggestions, to find and take the wise words, and never forget the previous Emperor's words for you. If so, as your servant, I would be so cordially thankful. 

今当远离。临表涕零,不知所言。I'm now leaving for the remote battles when your Majesty reads this letter. Facing the completed letter, those sentimental tears are so out of control that the emotion could lead to my points unclear. 

新年快乐!

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暖冬cool夏 回复 悄悄话 学习了,尚没有细读,我先copied下来慢慢读,古文很难译,或者说,翻译本身很难。
WriteItOut 回复 悄悄话 回复“亦中”的评论:谢谢指正,是的,应该是deceased.
cng 回复 悄悄话 “危急存亡之秋也。to be or not to be”?

to be or not to be,生存还是毁灭,是从沙翁来的。但是能到处套用吗?不如采取孙子兵法的直译:
孙子曰:兵者,国之大事,死生之地: It is a matter of life and death.

不是专家,纯粹是从感觉出发。

亦中 回复 悄悄话 您的翻译很好,平直通顺。第一段里,“was unfortunately diseased even before the half way to achieve”, 是用diseased呢?还是用deceased为好?

我再看看。
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