小试你的丈夫有多坏（7）

转贴一个让人笑翻的捣蛋丈夫：

 RETIRED/BORED HUSBAND

 After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

 Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

 Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

 Dear Mrs. Harris,

   Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion（骚乱）in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares（日用品区）to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 简直就是大出血！

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3（急救信号）in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand （训斥）from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance （工会的不满）, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms （M&M巧克力豆）on layaway （赊账购物处）.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged（服从）.

 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs (Emergency Medical Technician) were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted（掷飞镖） around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming（哼唱） the ' Mission Impossible' theme （汤姆克鲁斯主演的间谍片主题曲）.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels on his chest（把漏斗放在胸前）.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, he yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN! '

15. Took a box of condoms to the check out clerk and asked where the fitting room was?

笑死人不偿命！

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'  One of the clerks passed out.

所以，要小试你的丈夫有多坏，就带他到Target去逛逛吧！