周末一笑 (李娜)老公打呼噜的好处

 

老公打呼噜是有好处滴。这不，李娜听了老公一夜的呼噜声，结果越战越勇，打败#1，进入了决赛。

老师：“大雄，老师给你90元，你再去跟胖虎借10元，这样你总共有多少钱？”大雄：“0元。”老师：“你根本不懂数学！”大雄：“你根本不懂胖虎！”

“五星级公厕我也去过，换拖鞋才能进厕所还是首次遇到。”　　——成渝高速公路一公厕要求如厕者换拖鞋才能进，过路车主称换鞋差点憋得流尿。

中国足球兵败多哈，球员们却很高兴。为什么？涨工资了。其中高洪波年入30万。

小学考试卷后对家长老师判错的很多题表示强烈不解，并且一怒之下上网发帖质问：为什么小学语文会有那么的“标准”，就连题目要求“写你最喜欢的一句话”都是固定答案！

题：某人第一个月拿1000元工资，第二月拿800，第三月拿600，请问他的工资是降低了还是增长了？
答：降低了。
错，是负增长。

题：你只有10平米的房屋，邻居从0平米换到100平米，你的居住面积有没有增加？
答：没有。
错，你在平均住房面积里被增加了50平米。

 

题：明明你口袋里只有50元，却搞一大堆数据证明你实际有100元的是什么人？
答：骗子。
错，是统计局。

题：刚被人打了一棒，马上潜入水中，过一会在不远处穿着马甲又探出头来的是什么？
答：乌龟。
错！是免职官员。

 

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. " The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee. "Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .........."HEBREWS"

 

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