正文
I wonder what you are doing right now. If God does exist, why he didn't give me a clear message about your thoughts? Or just I am too stupid? Or He doesn't know yet? I am becoming a little anxious so I need to pray to God. I guess I will be disappointed if I get rejected by you. However, I want to keep the friendship, because I truly think you are a nice guy and you are trying to be friendly although you know that I like you a lot.
I just need peace in my mind. I am not very comfortable right now. God please give me some peace. I don't want to think about him any more. Is he one of your plans to let me come closer to you? But why do you make he such a lovely cute guy? I know...I won't be that interested if he is ugly. But I don't want to continue my love to him no more. It's scary you know. It's scary. I am 90% sure he is not interested in me, and my friend said that he is 80% not interested. I know...God...can you tell me if I should ask him how he thinks about me? Or ask one mutual friend to do so? we don't have good mutual friend though.
I am going to meet him probably in 3 days. Can you believe that? Father, please be with me and protect me throughout the journey. I really miss him. But I am so so so scared. I am scared that he will be cold to me. He won't sit with me in the conference in we are in lunches. I don't want to embarrass him when he is really busy or really has other priorities to do. God, if he is not meant to be, why do I have to like him? Can you stop me from liking him? Could you please? I don't have enough energy to deal with another huge disappointment right now. Can I go back to be friends? If there's really no hope. At least I can't see too much hope right now because I got no positive message from him. Please don't show me his girlfriend ok? I can't be hurt like that again.
I just need peace in my mind. I am not very comfortable right now. God please give me some peace. I don't want to think about him any more. Is he one of your plans to let me come closer to you? But why do you make he such a lovely cute guy? I know...I won't be that interested if he is ugly. But I don't want to continue my love to him no more. It's scary you know. It's scary. I am 90% sure he is not interested in me, and my friend said that he is 80% not interested. I know...God...can you tell me if I should ask him how he thinks about me? Or ask one mutual friend to do so? we don't have good mutual friend though.
I am going to meet him probably in 3 days. Can you believe that? Father, please be with me and protect me throughout the journey. I really miss him. But I am so so so scared. I am scared that he will be cold to me. He won't sit with me in the conference in we are in lunches. I don't want to embarrass him when he is really busy or really has other priorities to do. God, if he is not meant to be, why do I have to like him? Can you stop me from liking him? Could you please? I don't have enough energy to deal with another huge disappointment right now. Can I go back to be friends? If there's really no hope. At least I can't see too much hope right now because I got no positive message from him. Please don't show me his girlfriend ok? I can't be hurt like that again.
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