Ph.D. Thesis in Mathematics

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

 

   Smart man + smart woman = romance

   Smart man + dumb woman = affair

   Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

   Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

 

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

 

   Smart boss + smart employee = profit

   Smart boss + dumb employee = production

   Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

   Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

 

SHOPPING MATH

 

   A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

   A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

 

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

 

   A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

   A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

   A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

   A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

 

HAPPINESS

 

   To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

   To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

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