绿水天涯
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正文
Terri Schiavo的新闻炒得纷纷扬扬的,看到这段新闻,忍不住转贴一下,希望还Michael一份清白.
引摘一段关于Michael Schiavo and his new girlfriend Jodi:(Copyright 2003 St. Petersburg Times)
==================================================================================
....They met by chance at a dentist's office.
Neither was searching for love, friends say.
She had been through a divorce.
His wife lived in a nursing home.
The years had left him heartbroken and lonely, friends say.
He bonded with the new woman over dinners and long talks. It was complicated, but they fell in love, friends say.
Still, Michael Schiavo has always made it very clear:
"He has one wife, and her name is Terri," said a family friend, GloriaCentonze. "He does not refer to anyone else as his wife, and never has."
How, then, to explain Jodi?
Jodi Centonze, 40, is Michael Schiavo's live-in girlfriend, mother of their two children, 1 and 21/2 years old.
Centonze occupies a peculiar role in the national debate over TerriSchiavo - in the middle of it, but never a public part of it.
"She wants to stay out of it," said her brother, John Centonze. "She says this is not about her, it's about Terri."
Yet she has been anathematized, her name invoked as a key reason whySchiavo, 41, should not control his wife's fate. Outside Terri'shospice, protesters hold signs that say, "Michael don't plan thewedding yet, we still have hope!" and "Arrest Mike for bigamy."
Schiavo has moved on, his opponents say, and should give Terri back toher parents. "Remaining married to him is an embarrassment," said DavidGibbs III, the lawyer for Terri's parents. He tried unsuccessfully toget Terri a divorce last month, accusing Schiavo of "open adultery."
Schiavo's opponents have directed much vitriol toward Jodi Centonze,threatening her life and her two children. In dozens of letters mailedto the couple's Countryside home, some critics have called her a whoreand her children bastards, relatives say.
Through it all, Centonze has remained quietly by Schiavo's side. Shewas there long before the television cameras, before Terri's conditionbecame a national obsession.
Jodi Centonze has visited Terri, shopped for her, washed her clothes,relatives say. She has accepted her role as the other woman, andbelieves Michael Schiavo has enough room in his heart for both,relatives say.
"She knows she was not his first choice," said one of Schiavo'sfriends, Russ Hyden of Gainesville. "But we don't always get to choose."
After all, he wasn't her first choice, either.
Jodi Centonze met Michael Schiavo at a dentist's office, her brother said.
"Neither one of them was looking to meet anyone," John Centonze said."And it wasn't something they just did. They weren't really togetherfor a couple of years after they met."
Michael Schiavo had been an "emotional wreck" after his wife collapsed, he said in a 2000 trial.
Terri, the woman who had charmed him on first meeting, could no longerwalk, eat or talk. She lay listless in a hospital bed, turned every twohours to avoid bedsores.
Schiavo was there for more than 130 doctor visits, through Terri'surinary tract infections, for the amputation of her left little toe,the removal of her gall bladder. He had been, a state judge noted, hermost regular visitor.
Terri's parents, Robert and Mary Schindler, agreed he was a devotedhusband and encouraged him to date other women, according to courtrecords and relatives.
"It was only a couple of weeks before Bob Schindler was saying Mikeneeded to get on with his life," said Schiavo's brother, Scott. "Thatwas the farthest thing from Mike's mind."
But as months turned into years, Schiavo lost hope.
He decided to date about three years after Terri collapsed, Schiavo's lawyer said during the 2000 trial.
"It took Michael a long time to consider the prospect of getting onwith his life - something he was actively encouraged to do by theSchindlers, long before enmity tore them apart," Jay Wolfson, a formerguardian of Terri, wrote in a 2003 report to Gov. Jeb Bush.
"He was even encouraged by the Schindlers to date, and introduced his in-law family to women he was dating," Wolfson wrote.
That was all before the Schiavos received about a $1-millionmalpractice verdict, stemming from the potassium imbalance that led toher current state. The award began a long-running feud with his in-lawsover money and Terri's care.
The Schindlers began accusing their son-in-law of trying to kill Terriso he could keep the settlement money and marry his new girlfriend.
Schiavo said he didn't care about the money and offered to donate it to charity.
....
Jodi Centonze was conflicted about whether to date Michael Schiavo, her brother said.
She wanted her oldest brother's opinion, and asked him to meet Schiavofor dinner at an Italian restaurant in Feather Sound. That was about 10years ago, before most anyone knew of Terri Schiavo.
"I grilled Mike," John Centonze recalled. "I asked him all thesequestions: What's up, you're married? Why do you want to see my sister?"
Schiavo explained his wife was in a nursing home, and that she wouldn'twant to live like that, John Centonze said. Schiavo said he had moneyfrom a lawsuit and was doing everything he could for Terri.
"I could see he was very uneasy, very scared," John Centonze said. "Hehad spent four to five years by himself. He seemed lonely andheartbroken."
Schiavo always made it clear he was still in love with Terri, relatives say.
"Mike still has a lot of emotions for Terri," John Centonze said."People make him out to be this mean guy, and he's nothing like that atall."
Jodi Centonze knew what she was getting into, her brother said.
"From the beginning she knew the situation," her brother said. "He toldher, if you have a problem with this, this is what I'm going to do. I'mgoing to fulfill her wishes, and carry it out until the end.
"She's there for him 100 percent," Centonze's brother said.
Family members get angry when people accuse Schiavo of physically abusing Terri.
"If he was that way, my sister would have kicked him to the curb," JohnCentonze said. "She doesn't take crap from anyone. ... If Mike was thatway, he could never be with my sister. She don't play."
It has been complicated, relatives say, but the family accepts and supports their relationship.
"Sometimes I feel as if it's almost a spiritual thing, like Terri sent Jodi to him," said Schiavo's brother, Scott.
Some relatives compare Michael Schiavo to a man who has lost his wifeto Alzheimer's disease. He is devoted, but wants a companion.
"Life is lonely," said Gloria Centonze, Jodi's sister-in-law. "People need a reason to get up in the morning."
* * * ....
==================================================================================
....They met by chance at a dentist's office.
Neither was searching for love, friends say.
She had been through a divorce.
His wife lived in a nursing home.
The years had left him heartbroken and lonely, friends say.
He bonded with the new woman over dinners and long talks. It was complicated, but they fell in love, friends say.
Still, Michael Schiavo has always made it very clear:
"He has one wife, and her name is Terri," said a family friend, GloriaCentonze. "He does not refer to anyone else as his wife, and never has."
How, then, to explain Jodi?
Jodi Centonze, 40, is Michael Schiavo's live-in girlfriend, mother of their two children, 1 and 21/2 years old.
Centonze occupies a peculiar role in the national debate over TerriSchiavo - in the middle of it, but never a public part of it.
"She wants to stay out of it," said her brother, John Centonze. "She says this is not about her, it's about Terri."
Yet she has been anathematized, her name invoked as a key reason whySchiavo, 41, should not control his wife's fate. Outside Terri'shospice, protesters hold signs that say, "Michael don't plan thewedding yet, we still have hope!" and "Arrest Mike for bigamy."
Schiavo has moved on, his opponents say, and should give Terri back toher parents. "Remaining married to him is an embarrassment," said DavidGibbs III, the lawyer for Terri's parents. He tried unsuccessfully toget Terri a divorce last month, accusing Schiavo of "open adultery."
Schiavo's opponents have directed much vitriol toward Jodi Centonze,threatening her life and her two children. In dozens of letters mailedto the couple's Countryside home, some critics have called her a whoreand her children bastards, relatives say.
Through it all, Centonze has remained quietly by Schiavo's side. Shewas there long before the television cameras, before Terri's conditionbecame a national obsession.
Jodi Centonze has visited Terri, shopped for her, washed her clothes,relatives say. She has accepted her role as the other woman, andbelieves Michael Schiavo has enough room in his heart for both,relatives say.
"She knows she was not his first choice," said one of Schiavo'sfriends, Russ Hyden of Gainesville. "But we don't always get to choose."
After all, he wasn't her first choice, either.
Jodi Centonze met Michael Schiavo at a dentist's office, her brother said.
"Neither one of them was looking to meet anyone," John Centonze said."And it wasn't something they just did. They weren't really togetherfor a couple of years after they met."
Michael Schiavo had been an "emotional wreck" after his wife collapsed, he said in a 2000 trial.
Terri, the woman who had charmed him on first meeting, could no longerwalk, eat or talk. She lay listless in a hospital bed, turned every twohours to avoid bedsores.
Schiavo was there for more than 130 doctor visits, through Terri'surinary tract infections, for the amputation of her left little toe,the removal of her gall bladder. He had been, a state judge noted, hermost regular visitor.
Terri's parents, Robert and Mary Schindler, agreed he was a devotedhusband and encouraged him to date other women, according to courtrecords and relatives.
"It was only a couple of weeks before Bob Schindler was saying Mikeneeded to get on with his life," said Schiavo's brother, Scott. "Thatwas the farthest thing from Mike's mind."
But as months turned into years, Schiavo lost hope.
He decided to date about three years after Terri collapsed, Schiavo's lawyer said during the 2000 trial.
"It took Michael a long time to consider the prospect of getting onwith his life - something he was actively encouraged to do by theSchindlers, long before enmity tore them apart," Jay Wolfson, a formerguardian of Terri, wrote in a 2003 report to Gov. Jeb Bush.
"He was even encouraged by the Schindlers to date, and introduced his in-law family to women he was dating," Wolfson wrote.
That was all before the Schiavos received about a $1-millionmalpractice verdict, stemming from the potassium imbalance that led toher current state. The award began a long-running feud with his in-lawsover money and Terri's care.
The Schindlers began accusing their son-in-law of trying to kill Terriso he could keep the settlement money and marry his new girlfriend.
Schiavo said he didn't care about the money and offered to donate it to charity.
....
Jodi Centonze was conflicted about whether to date Michael Schiavo, her brother said.
She wanted her oldest brother's opinion, and asked him to meet Schiavofor dinner at an Italian restaurant in Feather Sound. That was about 10years ago, before most anyone knew of Terri Schiavo.
"I grilled Mike," John Centonze recalled. "I asked him all thesequestions: What's up, you're married? Why do you want to see my sister?"
Schiavo explained his wife was in a nursing home, and that she wouldn'twant to live like that, John Centonze said. Schiavo said he had moneyfrom a lawsuit and was doing everything he could for Terri.
"I could see he was very uneasy, very scared," John Centonze said. "Hehad spent four to five years by himself. He seemed lonely andheartbroken."
Schiavo always made it clear he was still in love with Terri, relatives say.
"Mike still has a lot of emotions for Terri," John Centonze said."People make him out to be this mean guy, and he's nothing like that atall."
Jodi Centonze knew what she was getting into, her brother said.
"From the beginning she knew the situation," her brother said. "He toldher, if you have a problem with this, this is what I'm going to do. I'mgoing to fulfill her wishes, and carry it out until the end.
"She's there for him 100 percent," Centonze's brother said.
Family members get angry when people accuse Schiavo of physically abusing Terri.
"If he was that way, my sister would have kicked him to the curb," JohnCentonze said. "She doesn't take crap from anyone. ... If Mike was thatway, he could never be with my sister. She don't play."
It has been complicated, relatives say, but the family accepts and supports their relationship.
"Sometimes I feel as if it's almost a spiritual thing, like Terri sent Jodi to him," said Schiavo's brother, Scott.
Some relatives compare Michael Schiavo to a man who has lost his wifeto Alzheimer's disease. He is devoted, but wants a companion.
"Life is lonely," said Gloria Centonze, Jodi's sister-in-law. "People need a reason to get up in the morning."
* * * ....
我看的新闻里，Terri娘家的人,只有在中间的那10分钟不和她在一起.且不说Michael希望能和他妻子单独在一起度过最后的时光不是不可以理解,就冲着Terri家里这些年来对他的行为让他心里对他们有意见而不希望和他们共处一室(我个人猜想),我觉得也是可以理解的,不是吗?为什么大家一定要用圣人的要求来要求一个凡人呢?
还有,大家讨论问题最好就事论事,不要动不动扯到文化上去. 小贝说得很对,中国传统文化是嫁出去的女儿泼出去的水,女人在娘家是连家谱都上不了的. 中国传统文化里,男人对妻子的支配权要远远大过现在的Michael. 我不同意你的观点,并不说明你比我中华. 相信小贝也是如此. 爱中国并不需要时时刻刻挂在嘴上,每个人尽自己的力为祖国多做点,就好.
谢谢你的讨论,让Terri在天国安息吧,也希望活着的人能够move on.
The Schindlers' spiritual advisers said the couple had been at their daughter's bedside minutes before the end came, but were not there at the moment of her death because Michael Schiavo did not want them in the room.
你要真尊重中华传统，就该知道中国古话是嫁出去的女儿泼出去的水。别没事就拿文化做文章。
我不知道你是谁的马甲也没有兴趣再和你对话。你自己玩去。
我的话： 没人说Michael 不该MOVE ON。关键是你MOVE ON了是不是还比配偶的父母更有资格当监护人，有没有INTEREST CONFLICT。
小听：我有亲友全瘫了十年。家人是需要很大的爱心。在中国，条件还不如美国的NURSING HOME。
Michael是在拿到MALPRACTICE以后在1998年TERRI一次感染时才SIGN DNR的。为此TERRI父母才上法院争监护权的。他早为什么没提？
他的行为可以理解，应为他是人，不是圣人。如此而已。
可能因为是基督教国家，美国配偶权很大。我这人可能比较中华，我愿意尊重配偶父母的一些权力。
一个久病在床的人(过了两年的),对家人绝对是负担大过慰籍,我周围看到过好几例.如果有希望逆转的,当然要救.没有希望逆转的,这样拖下去很没有道理,更不要说他们用的是纳税人的钱.
雪上飞猪: 他不愿离婚的原因,是你猜想的吧? 猜想的东西,是不可以用来谴责别人的,对吗? struggle当然会有的,可是15年了,就算用8年的数字算,该有的struggle也差不多了吧? 别忘了,访问Terri最多的是她的丈夫,不是她父母.
冒昧的问一句,您伺候过久病的人吗? 您知道久病的人会生褥疮,每天需要擦洗翻无数次的身,需要多少的照顾吗? 如果是父母,能忍心看着孩子遭这份罪,仅仅是为了满足自己的感情? 爱别人是为别人好,如果爱美的Terri有天之灵知道她的病态每天展示在全球人眼前,她会感激她父母吗?
我看到报道说她先生开始一直给她擦洗,可是没有看到报道有说她父母做过这些的,希望有谁看到的话,让我也看看. 至今为止,Terri是Michael的妻子,所以他有权告诉法庭,Terri心里想说的话.
还有不少人发了愿，一付很为对方着想的样子，要让配偶MOVE ON。问题是如果你是没病那一个，你就真得没一点STRUGGLE让那个躺着的离去吗？生养了你爱的这个人的那俩个人就完全不需被考虑吗？当然躺着的如果明确有意愿也只能FOLLOW了。不过我写 will时和配偶及父母均有沟通。
我个人如果是TERRI，反正我也什么都不知道了，无所谓什么生不如死或尊严的死。如果我的躯体还能告慰其他人，留着也没啥不好。如果家属有争议，给我或配偶生命的人应该更有发言权。就像自杀的人对爱他的人来说，他是自私的，虽然他有权支配他自己的命。
有人性。