英文笑话: What Will It Be? Heaven or Hell?

 
Joke: What Will It Be? Heaven or Hell?
by Omar Upegui R.
 
 
While walking down the street one day, a U.S. Senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter. “Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high ranking official around these parts you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

—“No problem, just let me in,” said the Senator.

—“Well, I’d like to but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity,” gently replied the Gatekeeper.

—“Really, I’ve made up my mind and I want to be in heaven,” answered the Senator.

—“I’m sorry, but we must abide by our rules,” firmly declared St. Peter.

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he descends into hell. When the door finally opens, he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had previously worked with him. Everyone is very happy and dressed in evening attire. They run to greet him, shake his hand and reminisce about the good times they had while becoming wealthy at the expense of the people. They played a friendly game of golf and dined on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil who actually is a friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time, that before the Senator realizes it, it’s time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves as the elevator rises. As the elevator ascends and the door opens, St. Peter is there waiting and says, “Now it’s time to visit heaven.”

So, 24 hours passed while the Senator enjoys himself by joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing harps and singing. Again, before he realizes, his time is up and St. Peter returns and asks, “Well, after spending a day in hell and a day in heaven, where do you choose to spend eternity?” The senator reflects for a minute the answers, “Well, I would have never said it before—I mean heaven has been delightful—but I think I would be better off in hell.”

So, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator where he descends into hell. As the elevator door opens, the Senator notices that he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees his friends, dressed in rags, placing trash into black bags as it falls from above. The devil arrives to greet him. “I don’t understand,” stammers the Senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course with a clubhouse. We ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The devil looks at him and smilingly replies, “Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.”
 
Now that the political campaign is in full swing, I think this witty gag is quite appropriate. At least it will put a smile on our face. Good Day!  
 
 
Retrieved from:
http://epiac1216.wordpress.com/2008/04/18/joke-what-will-it-be-heaven-or-hell