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my story- (need your help,thank you)

(2007-03-19 18:49:14) 下一个
My husband and I got married in april,2005. By the end of 2005 we signed the divorce paper.The reason was very complicated.Then I returned to singapore to continue my study.(I met him online when I was in singapore in 2004 and left over everything just for love and the desire of having a happy family of myself). You can tell the foundation is not very good.But we both are christians.culture,I thought our love can overcome any difficulties. education, age(12 years older), habits there are many differences, we need time to adjust.but he was not patient with me.I kept telling him its me to relocate, I need some time,but he is so self centered,and I got hurt much.Just because I cant drive well,he said to buy me a ticket ,go back to your singapore. so in Dec, 2005 we decided to go the seperate way.I didnt ask for any compensation.

However right after I left,he talked with me over phone,persuaded me to go back.I still love him. So after he promised he would make certain changes which really bothered me, I say ok. Because God hates divorce. And we have the commitment to one another.He then told the attorney to do the reverse of the divorce. Because I left the states before the green card issured, I could not go back right away. He used another lawyer to help get me a visa( In fact my I485 was pending, because of the USCIS's mistake, I didnt get my green card in time.) so in 2006 the whole year we kept in touch by phone and internet. During the time, he wavered and wavered .Each time i forgave him, because I asked God to make me a mature good Christian wife, accept my husband the way he is and to him, with God's help we can work out.My husband agreed with me, however he is not a stable person due to past experiences both in marriage and business, He has low esteem of himself. Each time I wish I can speak life onto him. I thought I did all I can do. Finally, i was granted my Conditional PR status.. I quit my job as a teacher in singapore,then heading home.
.after seperated for more than one year in Feb 2007 we reunited. I told him I stayed for two weeks then I had to return to signapore to finish my Master program in one month and I would return by the end April and be with his permanently. Start last year he was involved in a new business, works day and night. The two weeks when we were together, He only took me out for dinner once, he said very sorry, I told him I understood. Even though I knew the problem between us cant be solved by short period of time, but I had faith in God, in him.Since my husband always told me he loved me,nobody can replace me.( I trusted him so much, in May, 2006 He wanted to divorce me,because he told me he had been talking to a Korean woman, I still forgave him,look how silly I am) I gave him everything, but he never cherished me, besides sweet words he didnt do anything for me.One week after I returned to signapore,He called and wanted to divorce,I said how can you treat me like this? Why played game with me, if you dont love me, why not tell me in the states, why hold my life for another year? if you already had your plan, you should let me know early, i will not beg.

I left all my things ,money there.The moment he sent me to the airport,he still told me he loved me.Man is just not trustworthy. When I returned to singapore I heard my mom in shanghai was very sick, How I wish I could seek comfort from my husband,until i got hold of him, he gave me the last strike: get your things back, divorce, I will support you the way you go. You can tell how depressed I am. I only need a stable husband, I sacrifice myself so much,just want to be with him and i thought God will restore our relationship. Now He only said : Im very sorry to bring you up to the top of the mountain and then push you down to the bottom of the valley. How selfish he is. I feel being fooled, cheated and used. My pain is so much, I dont know where is the way. But this time I want to protect myself, He has no right to treat me like a cheap chinese product.不可以想叫我去就去,走就走。我不能再让牵着鼻子走了。我又不能告诉患病的父母。我必须回美国抗争。维护我的权利。因为我新加坡的工作已经丢了。这边的绿卡也会因此过期。所以我只有回美国。

接下来的问题是我可以怎样做。各州法律不同。以我现在的经济情况没办法请律师。我想问,1我的两年有条件绿卡在我们离婚后是否还可以申请remove the condition ,and transfer to the long term one?
2 我现在没有工作,可否让他提供spoursalsupport? can I ask him to get me an apartment , a car and help me find a job to re establish my life? do i need to do this through an attorney? Or I jsut have the right to go back to the house ,stay in the same house with him (seperate rooms) till he makes the arrangements for me?Is their any woman's orgnization I can contact for info?

this marriage is the biggest mistake i have ever made, now i dont allow myself being hurt any more, this is mental and emotional hardship. Only LORD can heal the pain.I wish you can give me some advice. I plan to see my parents in shanghai next month then go back to the states. I even have to pretend to them ,because how much they wish to see me settle down.我在外面漂泊了六年了。从新加坡到美国,又回到新,现在他把我人生中最好的都夺走了,就这样赶我走,太不负责。我实在咽不下这口气。

For friends who would help ,can you send your email at aipingd@yahoo.com


I really appreciate your time.
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