土笋冻

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哀悼:患渐冻症的小姑子Kathy走了。。。

(2014-09-04 05:16:27) 下一个


Kathy,我将永远记住去年你和Frank来我家,你高兴地面对我镜头的这个最后画面!
 

患渐冻症的小姑Kathy走了。。。

现在是201494日凌晨302,我一点睡意也没有!

昨晚也是这个时辰,由于行李被耽搁,我刚刚从机场回到家中,迷迷糊糊于时差里我试图把在途中那23小时的劳顿补回来,结果还是一早就醒了。也早醒的bill告诉我他姐姐kathy状况非常不好,医院的死前安抚医护人员已经到kathy家了,他们说kathy最多只有48周的生命了。

我说,那我回来了,你赶紧飞去西雅图看你姐姐最后一眼吧!你们二个从小就是处得最好,最合拍的一对姐弟,我对她也是最有感情的,你定周五的飞机,周日回来,不会影响工作的。

bill
说他弟弟也打电话给他,说想飞去西雅图。bill说,Frank刚刚发了一个email 说现在kathy对外界已经没有反应了,她的呼吸越来越弱,心脏却越跳越快。bill觉得他宁愿记住kathy去年来我家时,那种快乐满足的音容笑貌,真不愿意去看她躺在那里,毫无知觉,身上到处插着管子的样子,所以他一直犹豫着要不要飞去。

Kathy
我亲爱的Kathy,我7月回国前还专门给她寄去一包茶叶,她收到后及时地给我email表示感谢,并很高兴地告诉我,她目前正在接受一个中国医生的治疗,她说她非常喜欢这个李医生,希望她的针灸能对她有所帮助。这才一个多月的时间啊,她怎么就不行了?

我告诉bill,即使现在kathy的身体对外界没有反应,但她的思想或灵魂一定能知道谁来看她了,何况渐冻人的特征就是"冻"到死,脑子都是清醒的啊。你不去,我会一辈子叨你的。

那时是早上7点多,我说要不给Frank打个电话?bill说现在西岸时间才是凌晨4点,等等再打吧。

Bill
开始上网定机票。突然,楼下传来一串急促脚步声,小狗Rico叫了起来。3个孩子都已离家上学去了,谁在楼下?

Bill
从床上跃起,奔下楼去。他转回说没人啊。我不以为然,促他赶紧订票去西雅图。

彼时,bill的手机响起,他瞄一眼,回头略惊讶地对我说:"是Frank"。

Frank
告诉Bill:"你姐姐于昨晚1055分走了。。。"

我一听,泪水夺眶而出!92号西岸西雅图晚上的1055分,就是东岸华府地区93号凌晨2点的时间啊,那正正好是我刚刚下飞机的时候,正正好是我脚落地的时候!

"刚才那阵脚步声说不定就是我姐姐的?",bill愣愣地自言自语。

Frank
说,91号,Kathy离世的前一天,她用只有Frank能懂的方式告诉Frank她想去超市!

Frank
把她带到超市,Kathy已发不出任何声音,连眼珠子都不能动了,Frank只能根据Kathy平时喜欢的,拿一些给她看看后放到推车里。。。

想想啊,临死前一天,Kathy最想去的地方居然是超市!一个她生平去得最多,给亲人与爱人选购食料做爱心佳肴的地方!

热爱烹调,热爱生活的kathy临死前要求去超市!!---最朴素的眷恋生活方式,也是kathy式的!

Frank
在电话上先是忍住哭声,语调尽量平稳地告诉我们Kathy最后的那几天。到后面,他越说声音越颤,最后竟泣不成声,我在电话这头也出声大哭!

Frank
说他与kathy最后一次的"交流"是91号深夜。当每隔2小时准时起来给kathy翻身的Frank轻声问几乎没有反应的kathy,是否需要服止痛药的时候,求生欲望极其强烈,平时一直乐观地顽强与死神搏斗的kathy,出乎Frank意料之外地摇了一下头!

Frank
说,那一刻,他知道自己心爱的人已不在fight(对抗),她不得不放弃了对这个世界,对所爱之人的眷恋,准备离开这个她再也指挥不了的躯壳。。。

也许,那是一种解脱,一种无需一直搏斗的安息?

可是,她才57岁啊!想想她一生的不幸,好不容易遇到Frank,竟。。。

公公曾经非常悲哀地对bill说,你姐姐的一生真是不幸,好日子没过几天。。。

kathy
的前夫,她二个孩子的父亲,及时地在他的面书里写下他对kathy的缅怀,说在与kathy的婚姻里,有许许多多让他无法忘记的幸福和快乐时光。。。

Frank
说等办完丧事,他还会专门飞去bill父母家,把kathy的一切与二老做一个最后的交代,比如把这几年kathy的生活相片做一个积集给他们看。。。

bill
Frank:等一切都安顿后,你有何打算?

实诚的Frank回答:"I will get some sleep!" 我会补补觉)。

整整3年了,自此kathy腰以下失去知觉后,Frank从没有睡过一个全觉。他每个晚上都得起来好几趟给kathy翻身或响应kathy的任何call,而他白天还得照常上班啊!

睡吧,Frank,你是得好好睡一觉了,你多年的"无眠"让我伤痛kathy逝去的同时,越加倾佩和感动你对kathy那片无私深情的爱,哪怕kathy并不是你的妻子!

你的伟大,难以言表!

睡吧,kathy,我的小姑,离开那个"冻"着你的躯体,好好安息吧!

你的灵魂会自由自在地行走在没有任何病痛的天堂里,就像今早行走在楼下的那阵脚步声一样:急促而轻盈,来去自如。。。

那一定是你!Kathy。。。


俏皮的Kathy在餐间突然侧身给正在帮自己切菜的Frank一个吻,Frank用一个搞怪表情来掩饰自己的腼腆---温馨一刻!

图文:版权土笋冻所有。

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评论
土笋冻 回复 悄悄话 我把部分人对Kathy的缅怀及对Frank的赞赏贴来这里收藏。

Cheryl Piche':
Frank ,you are a true angel on earth for ALL you did for Kathy and her family, taking her on so many fun trips, adding such sunshine and spice to her life, making it possible for her to see her family and hometown, caring for her impeccably and, most of all, loving her UNCONDITIONALLY

(Marjorie:I agree !!!!!!!
Carol Levesque :I agree too, you are an amazing man, & those are few and far between! Love ya!
Ling :Truelly indeed. Thank you,Frank! You let me see what the true love is and believe there is one in the world after all ! Thank you !!!!)

Angela Roley:
September 3 at 8:18pm ·
Words can't express my feelings these last few days. They say caregivers are a blessing, however I believe its the opposite....its the client that is the blessing as they are the one's that touch your life and teach you more. For the first time I can honestly say I am right where I need to be!
Thank you Kathryn for opening your heart and your home for me to share in your final journey on this Earth. It was a privilege and a pleasure to have been able to have you share your wonderful bright smiles with me daily even on those days I knew you didn't feel like smiling. I will forever feel honored that you allowed me to be with you to the end! Rest well my friend in the arms of the Lord. Until we meet again.....you will be missed and never forgotten

(Teresa Parsons :Thank you for sharing. Being so far away I had not heard. She will be missed.
Chris Heilman :Sorry Angela, sounds as if you had a wonderful relationship with this client. What a blessing you both received.
Elizabeth Marks :Sorry to hear that I know how much she meant to you.
Kailyn Smith Davies :Such beautiful words! You are a blessing Angela and what you do is truly a gift!)

Steve Smith:
I will always love you and miss you, Kathy, with a lifelong fondness that only the most special friends can plant in our hearts. Hugs, dear one, until I may see you again.

Angela Roley:
It's been only a few days and I've been thinking about you daily! I miss our crazy conversations and the laughs we shared together! I still find myself talking about you and the fun times we shared just watching tv together! Feels weird not being able to share what the girls and I are doing. I pray you've found peace and that you will continue to guide us that are still here to where we need to be next

Britney Lala Duran:
My emotions are crazy today. I feel so hurt and sad over the loss of such a beautiful soul...but at the same time, I know she is now at peace. Kathryn, I'm so very grateful for the short time I got to spend with you. You have deeply impacted my life and I will forever hold you in my heart. You are in a wonderful place now. It has been an honor to be at your side in your last days here with us. You are an inspiration with your strength and your courage. Although you suffered with ALS, you always had such a great attitude. Your smile is contagious. I can still see the way your eyes lit up the room as Frank came in. I know your on some kind of adventure up there, living your new life to the fullest. You will be greatly missed.


shanxishui 回复 悄悄话 谢谢回复。The perfect solution !
土笋冻 回复 悄悄话 谢谢你们的留言。我女儿没有去欧洲游学,但她今年暑假获得美国国务院奖学金去其他国家做"学生外交官"去了:)))
shanxishui 回复 悄悄话 对啦,你老大最后决定去欧洲游学一年吗?我记得当时我是为数不多的反对者。好奇,你们最后的决定。
shanxishui 回复 悄悄话 RIP, 一路走好! Cathy !
CNCJCC 回复 悄悄话 你一路走好啊,Kathy. 爱你的人会永远记着你,爱着你的。你热爱生活生命的正能量都由土笋冻传给了我们。 You left an impression in this world! You are at a better place now.
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