一荤一素

CURE FOR HEADACHES

A man was suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief. After trying all the usual cures he was referred to a headache specialist by his family doctor.

The specialist asked him what his symptoms were and he replied, "I get these blinding headaches kind of like a knife across my scalp and...." He was interrupted. "And a heavy throbbing right behind the left ear?" "Yes! Exactly! How did you know?"

"Well I am the world's greatest headache specialist, but I myself suffered from that same type of headache for many years. It is caused by a tension in the scalp muscles. This is how I cured it: Every day I would give my wife oral sex. When she came she would squeeze her legs together with all her strength and the pressure would relieve the tension in my head. Try that every day for two weeks and come back and let me know how it goes."

Two weeks went by and the man came back. "Well, how do you feel?" the doctor asked.

"Doc, I'm a new man! I feel great! I haven't had a headache since I started this treatment! I can't thank you enough. And, by the way....nice house!"

 Gourmet Reporter

A magazine reporter is traveling through a rainforest, in search of a fabled cannibalistic tribe. He falls into a trap, goes unconscious and wakes up tied to a stake with a fire burning slowly underneath him.

He cries out for help, and is answered by what is obviously one of the tribesmen, who informs him that he is going to be served as dinner to the leader of the tribe.

"But you don''t understand!" he cries, "You can''t do this to me! I''m an editor for the New Yorker magazine!"

"Ah," replies the tribesman, "Well look on the bright side. Soon you will be editor-in-chief!"