[安然识色]绸缎上的情书

夕阳一直在那里，没有沉下去的意思。透过一层没有擦干净的玻璃还有一片薄薄的塑料纸，照在我的身上。我的眼睛压在黑色的鸭舌帽下，不敢直视火红色的夕阳，就好像一直不敢直视他的眼睛那样，怕被灼伤。《梵音大悲咒》在耳边回响，我在里面沉下去，没有什么可以抓得住，漩涡的力量，撕扯着我的身躯和灵魂，一片一片破碎，然后整合，再碎裂。犹记有人这样感叹，现在的婚姻和一切有关，唯独和爱情无关。我是不相信的，因为我拒绝妥协。对生命的不妥协，就是对一切的不妥协。如果有一天，真的被生命撕扯得没有了真面目，能够像玛格利特杜拉斯在写到那个他时平静地叙述过去的种种，在听到八十岁的他对她说依旧爱她时微笑面对，没有眼泪没有嫉妒。如果有那么一个故事，只有纯粹的爱，其他的一切都不存在，与宇宙都无关，连比地球大333000倍的太阳都觉得渺小，没有生亦无死。如果一切只是如果……

 

她给他的情书是写在绸缎上的，金色镶边的红色绸缎，金色的文字，整段整段的《梁祝》，那个古老的关于蝴蝶的故事，华丽而忧伤得让他湿了眼睛。蝴蝶是飞不过沧海的，一个季节的美丽，一生的肝肠寸断。他说，他们有七生七世的时间，足以把这段爱情演绎到极致。有她被他深邃的眼神牵扯得无法自抑，有他被她的轻吻缠绵得无法喘息。当她踮脚抬头，当他低头俯身，当他们双手纠结，只要那么一瞬间，天地都崩裂，沧海桑田近在眼前。无法解释也无需解释的永远，在眼前展开，永远地，光芒四射地。仿佛只用他的手指，向西天一点，一切暂停，一条恒定宽敞的大路，就点定了所有的方向。那一刻，那面绸缎在爱里延伸，金色的纱丽随风飘扬。

 

如果一切只是如果。如果我说今天就是永远，那么它就是了。

[memos]

I may be not in the position to comment on it, but I just follow the suit as usual

If anything is improper, let it pass. Words are living things, and I am struggling with them.

大悲咒 --从古琴到梵唱, 充满能量的佛缘心咒, 让你呼吸到深深的宁静, 人间的清澈. 照见生命的无限、未来的无限。
Wish your soul is in peace and in whole when you are surrender by it.

When I read or watch tragedy stories, I always blame the authors, but not this one.
If I had her number, I would have called Ms. Marguerite Duras much earlier;
If I were seeing Ms Duras to depart at harbor, I would say farewell instead of watching her leaving distantly;
If I were Mr. Lee, I would not let her go at the beginning…
There, however, would be no such beautiful and sad story if I were Mr. Lee.

“七生七世” is a strong word. It could shake many things.

As I commented before, life comes as floating water and gone with wind. I maybe do not care to leave traces in my current life, but I don’t want too many regrets neither. Is it right?

Hope “he” and “she” would not miss the cross point in current life.