College Essay系列（三十六）：芝大 小文书 Why Chicago（2）

 

 

 

 

芝大小文书(2)

 

 

在上一篇芝大小文书（Why Chicago）里，我们讲了加州白人女孩India的芝大小文书。朽石君说了，那是一篇OK文，虽然对学校的了解够量，但流于浅表，也读得出来Ctrl-C/V的模版感。

接下来这一篇，朽石君以加州白人男孩Ricky的成功文书"Why UChicago"文书为例，给大家讲习一下翻盘小文书的质量。Ricky就是凭借这篇文书，把他的芝大申请彻底翻盘的。

来一起看看谁是Ricky吧：

 

Ricky Waite

Class 2026

Major Econ

Santa Rosa CA

RD-A:

UChicago, UMich, UCLA, UC Berkeley

Demo: 

small size Catholic High, 1Gen
Stats: 

GPA3.9/4.34, Test Optional

9AP: 0x5s, 2x4s, 3x3s, 2x2s, 2x1s

ECs: 

Awards school level, 

Slime Business, 

Service Research, 

ASB, 

Soph & Jr Class Council, 

Peer Tutoring, 

HOBY Leadership, 

Harvard Pre-coll, 

Etsy Shop

CA Essay: 

5year Slime  entrepreneurship

At UChicago:

2022 Social Media Ambassador for Amazon

2022 Marketing Ambassador for TikTok

2023 Marketing Intern for Edstrument

 

作者是北加州白人男孩 Ricky。无交标化申请芝大，属于1GEN。Spike是6年的真实创业经历，这也是他Common APP文书主题。但这篇不讲他的主文书。下面看看他的Why Chicago

 

 

The University of Chicago. The name alone carries quite a heavy load: a hotspot for innovation, the core of university-led research and a producer of world-changers. You can say this school exceeds my desires for an institution’s undergraduate education. As someone who craves entrepreneurship, the opportunities for growth in this area are evident at UChicago. The Booth School of Business exemplifies one of these opportunities for growth. Having access to Booth in my undergraduate education will not only allow me to expand upon my entrepreneurial desires, but will undoubtedly prepare me for my track toward becoming a Boothie following undergrad.

The countless opportunities for intellectual growth for UChicago students are evident through resources such as the Office of Career Advancement, access to Wisr, and the over 160 research centers, among many others. Career advancement holds several professions for UChicago students to immerse themselves into. Among the many pre-professional focuses within the program, I will choose entrepreneurship. This program makes accessibility to well-developed corporations and successful entrepreneurs much easier, offering access to companies such as Grubhub and Venmo. I will have access to Wisr through the Office of Career Advancement. A standout attribute of UChicago is its community of alumni; using Wisr will help me to collaborate with an alumni mentor wo works in my area of interest, furthermore connecting me with the community. Also offered through Career Advancement is the ability to work with startup companies during the academic year. These startups will provide the opportunity to intern within an environment enthralled by entrepreneurship, and build relationships with new up-and-coming companies. My career plan is college has always been to form a startup with other students that share similar interests as me, so having access to a resource like this will help me fulfill that plan.

Continued research I have started in high school will be possible due to UChicago’s abundance of research opportunities. The research I have begun entails analyzing the sensory benefits slime brings to elementary students with autism. UChicago will allow me to amplify this research, delivering my slime into the hands of more students across the nation. The human Performance Lab within the Center for Early Childhood Research is where I believe my findings can be applied, specifically, working with Ms. Sian Beilock would be sublime. Ms. Beilock’s research of stress’ relevance in regards to performance in a classroom setting presents itself as a great opportunity for me to implement slime. Playing with slime releases endorphins, which in turn, makes for great anxiety and stress relief. By introducing smile into the classrooms that she studies, I can potentially offer another variable for stress relief in younger students.

The student I long to become at my college graduation is a student who took the time to challenge himself with the curriculum offered at his institution, was proactive in establishing connections among people in his career interest, and filled the gaps of his curiosities. By attending the University of Chicago, I know I will exemplify that student come 2026.

技术指标：

Structure：Trio

1) Booth/课业

2) Wisr/职业

3) ChildEd/研究

WordCount=501

Density=0.27

 

这篇501字的Why Chicago，从字数上看，超出一般Why School文书的限度（200-400）。对无事不Quant的芝大来说，字数也是一种热情。而这501字，有恰到好处地把Ricky的创业Spike和芝大的Entrepreneurship资源的结合在一块，让一个本来不具硬实力的申请彻底翻盘了。

来自non-feeder、无标化、无大奖、低AP分，Stats里只有GPA的Ricky，只有一个突出之处，就是五年的Slime创业经历。这个经历，已经被Ricky作为主题，写成了Common App Essay。那就不妨在小文书里，也充分的体现一下，让AO的感觉就更真实了。

他是怎么在这篇小文书里突出自己的创业Spike的呢？

结构上，开篇点题创业，再分三个部分阐述自己对芝大的喜爱。

第一个Booth商学院，这里与创业相关联的是它的商业管理内容，也提到Booth学生的nickname。但作者没有提到Booth的创业项目，说明对Booth的了解还有欠缺。

第二个Career指导中心，提到这里的entrepreneurship指导方向，还有Wisr，Grubhub，Venmo，以及Startup等大量细节，说明作者已经对Career Center有非常好的了解。

第三个儿研中心，这里谈到Beilock教授和她的儿教研究，并跟Slime的脑神经学作用结合起来，虽然不够顺滑，但却不失真实。

全篇用到7处芝大的具体信息，显示出作者的功课做足了。尽管他在Density上的比较优势较低，但他使用了一些更加细致入微的细节，属于Admission Information Session里没有的内容。深入了解芝大这项软指标，再加上突出的创业Spike，就能让他在申请中成功翻盘。你学会了吗？

比较了两篇Why Chicago，对于什么是真热情，你可能觉得懂了。但下一篇，来自伊州的女孩Emily，会让你更更更懂的。

拭目以待吧