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窈窕淑女司令 (热门博主)
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〖雅虎女老总出口成脏发布雅虎新策略〗

(2009-06-03 11:14:16) 下一个


雅虎新任的女老总爱出口成脏,前一阵子和华尔街时报的记者会谈时不小心扔了F-炸弹,于是新闻界象TINA FAYE发现了SARA PALIN 一样兴奋,今天硅谷水星报将之恶搞。

其实公司男老总出口成脏的屡见不鲜,要是男生肯定不会受到如此待遇,可见男女之不平等,可CAROL 新官上任,正要施展拳脚大震乾坤,让伊情以何堪,颜面何存耶

不过还是蛮搞笑的,且有技术含量。我最近贪玩,硅谷系列一拖再拖,昨天遭到二蛋蛋密信批评,让我很不好意思,希望蛋蛋喜欢这篇。我新的一篇写了一半了,争取本周贴出

  


O'Brien: Bartz unveils new &*%! strategy for Yahoo

Our columnist imagines how everyone's favorite potty-mouth CEO, Yahoo's Carol Bartz, might take her habit of dropping the f-word in public to the next level: by making it the centerpiece of her turnaround strategy for Yahoo. Let's listen in on what the staff meeting might sound like when she announces this bold new strategy...

Bartz: I'd like to take a moment and thank you for dragging your (S-xxx) down here for this meeting. Please take your seats and shut the (F-XXX) up. We've got a lot of ground to cover today.

(Bartz is pacing animatedly in front of employees.) No doubt many of you followed the big announcements from Microsoft and Google last week. Did anyone here even have a (F-XXX) clue that Bing or Google Wave was in the works? Holy (S-XXX)!

Just when we're finally getting our (S-XXX) together, our two biggest competitors go and change everything on us. Ballmer's such a (F-XXX). What (F-XXX) even came up with the name Bing? Congratulations on coming up with the worst name for a search engine ever. C'mon. And the press? They see one demo and they're slobbering all over it. Please.

And then — Google Wave?!? I mean, I just about (S-XXX) in my pants. First of all, what the hell is it? These guys throw up a (S-XXX) YouTube video about some product that may come out someday, and once again, reporters and bloggers (F-XXX) all over themselves writing about how (F-XXXing) amazing this thing is.
Meanwhile, we announce some great new products and what kind of coverage do we get? Zip.

We're not going to take this (S-XXX) any more.

Starting today, we fight back. We're going to announce a major new marketing campaign that won't let anyone ignore Yahoo any more.

For those of you who don't have your heads up your (S-XXX), you may have noticed that I've personally been beta testing this thing. First with those analysts, and then with that (F-XXXing) Wall Street Journal reporter Kara Swisher — I dropped the f-bomb.

The results were clear. Those (F-XXXs) in the press won't write about all the great (S-XXXs) we're doing at Yahoo, but one foul-mouthed remark from me, and we're back in the headlines.

So we're re-branding the company around excessive use of profanity. Our new marketing slogan will be, "Yahoo, (F-XXX) yeah!"

I expect every single Yahoo employee to maximize their use of profanity, both in the workplace and in external meetings with customers and partners.

As part of this campaign, we've registered (F-XXX)Google.com and (F-XXX)Microsoft.com. Users will be invited to submit their favorite reasons those two companies suck. We'll unveil a suite of Web 2.0 tools to invite the community to help us discover innovative uses of profanity.

As part of our efforts to roll this out across the company, your managers will be distributing a lexicon of dirty words that we expect every employee to read and utilize. We'll be offering bonuses for most creative use of profanity. And each Friday, we'll award the Purple and Gold Bar of Soap to the most foul-mouthed Yahoo out there.

I hope you're as excited as I am about this new program. And if you're not, well, go (F-XXX) yourself.

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阅读 ()评论 (14)
评论
阿小饼 回复 悄悄话 回复淑女司令的评论:我还是觉得的像,你看,这两人的额头,都有点凸,发际也高,鼻子都是翘的,鼻头都圆,嘴巴也像,下巴也都是尖的,三毛还没长开,长大了就是这美女的样子了。。。。越看越像:))不是抬杠杠:))
淑女司令 回复 悄悄话 回复哪吒的评论:
我贴上了,还是觉得不象,
淑女司令 回复 悄悄话 回复weston的评论:
西哥,不好意思,
我和几个小姐妹瞎贫,让您看到有点不好意思
淑女司令 回复 悄悄话 回复shuimaomao的评论:
九儿认为还不够过瘾呢,说希望有视听更好
淑女司令 回复 悄悄话 回复饼姐姐的评论:
就是糊弄蛋蛋小姐的
淑女司令 回复 悄悄话 回复二蛋蛋的评论:
表弟英文不很灵光,有限的几个单词都是和他表姐我学的,前两天教他一个新词SICKO
,差点没把他乐死,告诉他可以推广到weirdo ,然后骗他说SBo也行,结果他居然
说SB是名词不能加O,看他长进的

不过FART他肯定不认识,等过两天他来了你烤烤他吧
weston 回复 悄悄话 Sure not written on Apr 1?
shuimaomao 回复 悄悄话 这篇好搞笑啊
饼姐姐 回复 悄悄话 支持一下哪咤,我觉得像。。。。

这篇好短啊:))
二蛋蛋 回复 悄悄话 你就摸准俺好F-XXX和S-XXX这口么
虽然我也确实as excited as八字女士了
但你也不能随便摘一篇就想糊弄俺

她表弟,果然纯洁啊,f叉叉叉显然就是那个那个那个fart嘛
哪吒 回复 悄悄话 对小注释的问题,f某某到底是哪个意思啊?
哪吒 回复 悄悄话 http://www.cycnet.com.cn/kidsmovie/feilin/jingdian/sanmao_pic/004.gif
找到张照片,大家自己比较一下。
淑女司令 回复 悄悄话 她们一点也不象嘛,
小注释: F-XXX 是那个的意思,S-XXX是屎的意思
哪吒 回复 悄悄话 我觉得这位巴子女士长得挺像三毛流浪记里的三毛。
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