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最近读的Boys should be boys

(2012-03-08 16:18:42) 下一个

作者以母亲和儿医的身份写的。有很多实例和心理分析。

她认为男孩最重要的三层关系是:with parents,with God,and with siblings and close friends.

 

关于妈妈的角色:

-        Keeper of dignity

-        Dispenser of grace

-        Emotional connector

When love comes out sideways:(误区)

Mothers who spend too much time with other mothers often compare notes and feel they are doing too little. But motherhood isn’t a competition. It is a state of being.

- Enmeshment(我理解就是混淆了两代人的人生)

- Estrangement

- Over dependence: Mama’s boy(很多亚洲裔男孩的)

   Mothers who have experience a poor relationship with their fathers or who have been through a bad divorce are very susceptible to this behavior. Since they feel wounded by men, they experience a significant droop in their self-esteem, and they purpose to make up for their loss by being terribly important in their son’s life.

When a mother consistently communicates to her son that he needs her. She must clothe him, feed him, drive him places, help him with his homework, and assist him in every way, and no one else can fill her spot. This is particularly harmful to a son because it communicate to him that his father has no significant role in filling his needs. And it’s terribly painful for fathers.

- Unavailability

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