不挣钱也是一计上策

钱这玩艺儿，可是一个太敏感、太不可缺少的事了。有钱是富有的象征，无钱只好想尽办法去挣钱。能否挣钱是衡量人在金钱商品世界的价值高低和多少的尺码，有能力的人们挖空心思尽可能的想办法多去赚钱。挣钱之策也表现的各有千秋，有的很轻松但得着不少，有的下很大功夫才有可观所得，有的花很多时间却得的不多，还有的靠着先生干脆不挣钱。

  先生把我出去赚钱叫做体验生活，其实他并不指望我挣多少。的确，我也实实在在地体验了六年左右。那早去晚归，加班加点，忽闲忽忙，长途驾车的劲儿啊，如今想起仍觉心提到嗓子眼儿里了，心跳加速。如果要不是挣钱为了家庭利益，才甘心情愿吃苦受累，不然，我是不情愿上那种班的。

  机会把我从挣钱的前线，撤回到家中的后方。每天从早忙到晚，可是，最明显地是心里轻松。我告诉先生，无论任何时候，只要家庭需要，我都会随时重返“钱”线，重操旧业，为家庭效力。这是一开始，我对先生的安慰和对自己有一种亏欠感觉的释放。

谁料想到，到了年底报税，多年来，忙忙道道从不曾去想的事情发生了。多年报税从来没像今年这样报得少，退得多。如果要不是没有办法的办法才留在家中，如果只是一个心眼儿想着出去工作赚钱，谁有机会去比较少一人工作和多增家中一员的报税差别呢？！如果我仍然固执己见强求去上班的话，那一年的奔忙不是白辛苦了吗？我的心悠然得以释放，真是有福不在忙啊！仔细算一算，多添一孩子，少一人工作，少报多退一大笔，儿子不用送出去又省一万左右，大儿子又拿到奖学金又省了一大笔。哇唔！多年来，就是两口子一起出去工作的年纯净收入所得也从来没有这么高过！天助我也！

难怪我身边的好多美国家庭，若丈夫有较可观的职业收入，太太一般都在家中做家庭主妇或偶尔临时兼个半职或为社区和教会做些义工。不挣钱，果真有它的好处所在。一种过去只顾拼命埋头挣钱，不顾抬头看路，只不过是枉费心机，白白辛苦的感觉油然而生。先生乐了说：“你就在家里呆着吧。”可不是，他能安心在外工作，不用顾虑家里，回家有现成的饭等着，只要他有事可做，家中经济收入并不减少，何乐而不为呢？！

看来，有时在一定程度上，不挣钱也是一计明智的上策。当然挣钱也是没有止境的，人追求钱的欲望也是永无止境的，可是，满足自己的所得，持守家中，不用外出过分辛苦忙碌，一样不少分文的感受，也可称作天伦之乐了。

不过，面对这无情激烈竞争的世界，我还是时刻准备着上“钱”线的，如果有任何必要的话。

[toobusy]

回复sunflower28的评论:
well, you need to pay private school whether the mother works or not. SO the only difference here is the nanny's salary. And i make much more than what you calculated. My husband even makes much more than what I make. So you are right, this is a personal choice. For me, working actually helps my emotional and mental health.

[盐光]

回复sunflower28的评论:
我们家的情况基本上是，到年终报税查表结算，两人工作和一人工作，家庭总收入没有多大差别。当然，说工作不是为钱也好，可是要花时间和精力的，时间和精力也是很宝贵的。如果我去上班有个事业，也只是为了占着那个职位和工作机会，对家庭收入没有多大影响，同时，我也失去了我的时间和精力，不能去接每周在校参加好几次数学活动和交响乐队的儿子，还得把老小送出。不去工作，钱不缺少，也拥有了我自己支配的时间和精力，只是把外边的全职事业转变成了在家的全职事业。的确成了出去不出去工作是个人选择的状况了。多谢您的评论！

[sunflower28]

To toobusy,

If a couple earn 6 figure each, your after tax income is 50% or less. If your kids go to private school with full aid, that's $50,000 cash. a nanny, etc, cost you $15,000. That's total $65,000(AMT may cost you more). This equals to $130,000 salary.

Finally, I believe in this situation, working or not is a personal choice.

[盐光]

回复jwayne_1的评论:
家庭就像公司一样，目前在家也是全职工作。等孩子大了，我还有很多的事要做。多谢您的评论！

[盐光]

回复xintong2006的评论:
我先生要听到您对他的夸赞一定很高兴！他就喜欢别人夸他是好男人，为了这个家，他每天都在努力钻研和工作，用脑对他是一种享受！多谢您的评论！

[盐光]

回复木兰木兰的评论:
二十三年的朝朝暮暮，相互学习，彼此理解，夫妻俩对婚姻的理解更加深刻。
神给了我们很多的恩赐，总是带领我们该走的路，看顾我们的需求，我每天都充满感激，也充满喜乐平安！

[yiqingshen]

回复pinshiwang的评论:

Thank you, pinshiwang, for your advice.

"It is good to go back to work.Next time if you want your husband to do chores but he doesn't, just tell him to get off the house or you move out. For a wife and a husband, the most important is to respect each other." -I won't move out. He will be the one.

"Don't care about how much you invested in the family, and how much your husband owned now. It is sunk cost. You never get them back." - Yes, I will get it back. It is called the investement for his career and it will be taken into account in alimony.

Have a nice weekend.

[xintong2006]

要想不为五斗米折腰,也得有一个象你的好老公一样的人在身边才行呀
呵呵

[pinshiwang]

回复yiqingshen的评论:Technically, I think it is better for the family to be a house wife, but it is not good for yourself. for me, I won't take the risk to rely on my husband completely. Maintainting independence is very important for a female. It is nothing to do with money.

It is good to go back to work.Next time if you want your husband to do chores but he doesn't, just tell him to get off the house or you move out. For a wife and a husband, the most important is to respect each other.

Be yourself! If your husband doesn't care about your feeling, it would be fine. But you have to care about yourself and respect yourself. If you can earn respect from your husband, ok! If you can't, it is unnecessay to stay with him. Don't care about how much you invested in the family, and how much your husband owned now. It is sunk cost. You never get them back. If you are still stay at home and endure him, you will lose more.

[木兰木兰]

窃以为为钱而不得不去工作是世界上最痛苦的事。看起来你很开心，你先生也看到你对家庭所作的贡献-虽然你并没有带回家一份工资单，这样的先生也难得，想必他很爱你，也有能力支持家庭由你选择是否出去工作。这样(也许是暂时的)分工只要你们两个人都开心就很好啊。真心希望你有更多时间发展个人兴趣，生活过得充实开心就好：）。

[盐光]

目前留在家里是我最好的选择，以后怎样就看神的带领了！多谢各位忠告！

[yiqingshen]

Yes, I am getting back to my own feet now, as my youngest is going to kindergarten this fall.

Based on my experience and observation, although my husband won't say that he wants me to work, deep down, he expects me to do all work at home as well as having an income. I don't want to generalize it. It could be a reference to those who want to quit job.

Finally I no longer counting how much I have to pay for a babysitter and see if it worth working. I paid a huge price for it.

[toobusy]

回复yiqingshen的评论:

your husband is unbelievable! maybe it is time for you to consider going back to work?

I am a professional with a six-figure income. So even though I have a child I still work, because my salary could pay for 10 nannies. But I don't feel pressure as I tell myself I am working out of my choice, if it is too stressful I can quit any time (my husband has a pretty good income too). But I do feel that when my husband talks to his colleagues and friends about me he is proud of me, even though I do very little housework.

[jwayne_1]

money may not be important, but career is. many american women felt very empty and helpless after the kids no longer need them 24/7.

[yiqingshen]

I felt the same way the first two years. After three years staying at home, my husband took every thing granted. He no longer appreciate every meal he has after working, and does less and less at home.
It is the 6th year. That is what he told me after we had some argument:

"You are just the house maid. If you want to stay in this house, you have to do everything. Other wise, get out of my house and make your own living. ... Do you want me to pay you, pay you as a house wife?!
You are a failure in your career, a failure of life!"

Bt the way, I am a PhD who brought him from China all the way to US, and then sacrified everything for his career and children.

Jus be careful not to fall into the same path.