个人视角（3）

遗失在慕尼黑的珍珠

爱与恨的交织，去与留的抉择，舍与弃的无奈，这就是人生。

看来予心还真是小孩子气，缺少一些 patience with life ，可爱啊 （哈哈）。不过谁又不是在经验和教训中成长的呢？特别是在感情方面，人们容易一条道走到黑，不撞南墙不回头（更有甚者，撞了南墙也不回头）。这就是为什么爱中往往包含着潜在的伤害的原因。人们往往会在爱的名义下，自觉不自觉地去要求对方，爱变成了一种负担。有时甚至说不清楚是爱对方还是自己。遗憾的是，很多时候，人们的确把爱自己凌驾于爱别人之上了。最简单的例子，人们经常会听到做母亲的抱怨，我如何如何忍受十月怀胎的辛苦，如何含辛茹苦的把孩子养大，孩子不好好学习，不按照母亲的意愿就是一种罪过，完全是一种爱的强暴。母亲的逻辑是，因为我爱你，我付出了，你就应该用我的方式去回报。不幸的是，爱是让人成长不是给人桎酷。（说远了，呵呵）

其实不是得不到的才是最好的最可贵的，看看谷瑾，也有很多优点。很多时候，人们只是眼光高，喜欢向前看（特别是自恋的人），忽略了生活中和你最接近的人。想想看，谷瑾又何尝没有给予心一片天呢？！予心还没能体会婚姻中至亲至疏夫妻的味道。

爱是一辈子的课题，学会了爱也就学会了生活。无论如何不要忘记生活中有很多宝贵的东西：感激和珍惜。有一个人可想可念，总比从此无心爱良夜，任它明月下西楼要好多了。

予心应该在去慕尼黑的路上读一读论语和庄子，或许会有帮助。

哈哈

[金重阳]

体会婚姻中至亲至疏夫妻的味道是难体会的。

[melly]

I'd love to meet you. I visited your blog. Wow, pictures. You look gorgeous! Seriuosly. You remind me of my dancing experiences, well, not professional. hehe... I hope I could dance again someday and write something about it.

Thanks for coming and dropping lines.

[Flamenco_Girl]

while, "asking for change" is a feedback process, a necessary step in the two-way street, don't you think so?

I go to Ohio Star Ball almost every year (in November). If possible, we can meet there. It's the best and the biggest Dance Sport competition in North America.

[melly]

Thanks for your support.

I don't think asking for change is gonna work. The only way is self-adjustment. Most importantly, it is a two-way street.

Hey,I really want to learn dance with you. My favorite is Waltz.

[Flamenco_Girl]

Each one is a individual, it's chanlenge to fit two people together. If two people have to be realy close, they have to fit well to be comfortable. Asking another for change and self adjustment are necessary processes. I guess it's not really about love, but more about "fit", in multi-dimentions.