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Joke 9月刊 3

(2006-10-07 01:53:10) 下一个
于是干出了至今都觉得很傻的事情。。。。。。                     ┊
 * (18)  *                                                               ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊                                        (to be continued)  *   *    
          ┊                                                              ┊    
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊    
  *      ┊                                                          *  *     
  ┊           跟着这个老太婆,她讨到哪儿,我跟到哪儿......           ┊        
  ┊                                                                        ┊  
  ┊       她和别人说:给我2块车钱吧,我病了,没钱坐车。                    ┊  
*                                                                           ┊*
      我就在她旁边窜出来,大声说:她是骗子,别相信她,上次骗了我5块钱...... *  
                                                                            ┊  
      ......就这么跟了将近半个小时,重复以上行为数十次。                    ┊  
                                                                                
      老太婆发彪了,开始掏口袋。                                               
                                                                               
      对我说:我把5块钱还你,再给你5块钱,求求你别跟了......                   
                                                                               
      ......                                                                 ┊
 ┊                                                                          *
 *                                                                          *
 ┊  ╭       btw:谢谢,没了。                                               ┊
 ┊ ( )  ┊   觉得无聊,请怪liuhen,他求我发的。再次谢谢。                   ┊
 * (19)  *                                                               ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊                                                           *   *   
          ┊                                                              ┊   
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊  
  *      ┊   说说我遇到的最不浪漫的事吧   by lonelysarah            *  *   
  ┊         ………………………………………………………………………   ┊      
  ┊         大学最后一学期,跟班上一男同学在一个实验室同做毕业设计         ┊
  ┊该同学是典型的技术男,技术很强,RP超好,就是比较木讷,基本不跟女生说话  ┊
*                                                                           ┊*
    一天我写论文到夜里12点才想起来回宿舍。                                  *
    走到楼梯口,汗,熄灯了,楼道黑漆漆一片,静得要死,那叫一个恐怖。        ┊
    木法子,回实验室里,一看该男生还在埋头游戏中,我就叫他陪我下去          ┊
                                                                              
    伊很爽快地跟我一起走到楼梯口,在伸手不见五指的黑暗里,很仗义得对我说:    
    “把手给我。”                                                            
                                                                              
    我当时那个感动啊,多么热心的好同学,多么绅士的好男人啊,                  
    于是壮了壮胆子伸出手去                                                   ┊
 ┊                                                                          *
 *          紧接着,他抓住了我的手,                                        *
 ┊  ╭                                                                      ┊
 ┊ ( )  ┊                                                                  ┊
 * (20)  *                                                               ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊                                        (to be continued)  *   *  
          ┊                                                              ┊  
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊   
  *      ┊                                                          *  *    
  ┊                                                                  ┊       
  ┊                                                                        ┊ 
  ┊                                                                        ┊ 
*                                                                           ┊*
        放到楼梯扶手上,说:                                                * 
                                                                            ┊ 
        你自己扶着这个走下去吧。。。                                        ┊ 
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                             ┊
 ┊                                                                          *
 *                                                                          *
 ┊  ╭                                                                      ┊
 ┊ ( )  ┊                                                                  ┊
 * (21)  *                                                               ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊                                                           *   *   
          ┊                                                              ┊   
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊   
  *      ┊   看看我老婆是怎么损失100块钱的   by longlongago1        *  *    
  ┊         ………………………………………………………………………   ┊       
  ┊                                                                        ┊ 
  ┊               上周5打车                                                ┊ 
*                  被出租车司机找了一张50元假币                             ┊*
                   一直没有发现                                             * 
                   周六打车时付账                                           ┊ 
                   司机师傅要求换一张时                                     ┊ 
                   终于觉悟到破财了                                            
                   于是换了一张100元的给司机师傅                               
                   并开始郁闷                                                  
                   司机师傅找了3张10块的                                       
                   又找了一张50的                                              
                   贫嘴的出租车司机阿!                                       ┊
 ┊                "让你看看真的50什么样子"                                  *
 *                我那纯朴的老婆                                            *
 ┊  ╭            真的看了看                                                ┊
 ┊ ( )  ┊        又和假的比对了一下                                        ┊
 * (22)  *        然后                                                   ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊        然后                            (to be continued)  *   *   
          ┊                                                              ┊   
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊   
  *      ┊                                                          *  *    
  ┊                                                                  ┊       
  ┊                                                                        ┊ 
  ┊               然后                                                     ┊ 
*                  然后                                                     ┊*
                   然后                                                     * 
                   她就把50元还给师傅了                                     ┊ 
                   临走还说了一句                                           ┊ 
                   谢谢阿                                                      
                   回家后极度郁闷                                              
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                             ┊
 ┊                                                                          *
 *                                                                          *
 ┊  ╭                                                                      ┊
 ┊ ( )  ┊                                                                  ┊
 * (23)  *                                                               ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊                                                           *   *   
          ┊                                                              ┊   
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊   
  *      ┊   某个MM和她的化妆品盲GG(zz)old否?    by serenade1    *  *    
  ┊         ………………………………………………………………………   ┊       
  ┊                                                                        ┊ 
  ┊           系列1                                                        ┊ 
*            某天各位YUYU团购的雪花膏到手了~几十罐                          ┊*
             当天傍晚准备把这堆东西弄回家,太重,未遂~~                     * 
             只好把GG叫来当骆驼。挺听话,屁颠屁颠地从球场跑来。             ┊ 
             GG(接过来往包里塞):什么东西这么重?                         ┊ 
             ME:雪花膏                                                        
             GG(立马开始翻包):........好吃吗?(严重怀疑他听成了雪糕)      
             ME:猪啊你.......护肤品啦!                                       
             GG(沉默3秒):.........那是用来喝的吗?(还不死心=_=!)          
             (暴打一顿,终于觉悟)                                              
             GG:.........现在流行用这个吗?真那么好用?                     ┊
 ┊          ME:老牌子的东西至少比较值得信赖吧。                            *
 *          GG:用了会变白吗?那也给我用用吧,不然你老说没路灯就看不到我。  *
 ┊  ╭      ME:.........你没救了,还是每天用手电照照比较快。               ┊
 ┊ ( )  ┊  GG:.........你,你嫌弃我~~(做掩面泪奔状)                     ┊
 * (24)  *  (再次暴打,终于老实)                                         ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊                                        (to be continued)  *   *   
          ┊                                                              ┊   
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊   
  *      ┊ 系列2                                                    *  *    
  ┊         某次同他一男同事一起吃饭,他同事说自己脸油,想买洗脸的   ┊       
  ┊         东西(天下大乱)                                                 ┊ 
  ┊         GG(明明就是门外汉还装):油性皮肤嘛!                         ┊ 
*           (估计从我这里现学现用,骚包)                                  ┊*
             同事(以为他很懂,还点头):是啊,容易出油。                   * 
             GG:恩........汰渍洗衣粉,便宜量又足........                   ┊ 
             (送你个毛栗子)                                                 ┊ 
             同事:你女朋友应该有给你买过吧?                                  
             GG(突然很骄傲的样子):有啊有啊!是名牌!                        
             同事:什么?                                                      
             GG:“高尔夫”。                                                  
             (我一口茶直接喷出去)                                              
             (赶紧抹ma桌子)                                                  ┊
 ┊          这懒人估计根本就没有用!(是“高夫”啊,天!)                  *
 *          同事(完全没有丝毫的怀疑):跟车子的牌子一样啊!                *
 ┊  ╭      GG(也是一本正经):是啊,现在的化妆品牌子都很怪,              ┊
 ┊ ( )  ┊  听我女朋友她们说还用什么“欠扁”的......                        ┊
 * (25)  *  (倩碧啊!上帝!)                                           ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊  (你才欠扁!打得我手好痛)              (to be continued)  *   *   
          ┊                                                              ┊   
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊   
  *      ┊ 系列3                                                    *  *    
  ┊         某天去逛商场,刚进一楼,正门一进去就是ZA化妆品柜         ┊       
  ┊         (丢人开始)                                                     ┊ 
  ┊         这只开口,声音响亮:哎~~好奇怪,化妆品还有叫“喳”的呀!       ┊ 
*            (周围的柜台小姐全部笑趴)                                     ┊*
             (欲哭无泪,直接拖走)                                           * 
                                                                            ┊ 
             系列4                                                          ┊ 
             某晚在家看报,突然接到GG电话                                      
             (莫名其妙)                                                        
             GG:你上次给我买的肥皂是什么牌子的?                              
             ME:........洗澡用的吗?(年代久远有点忘,因为每次都是买整排的促  
             销装给他)                                                        
             GG:恩,我在超市,肥皂用完了。                                  ┊
 ┊          ME:你天天用自己不记得吗?                                      *
 *          GG:我说啦,超市说没有这种。                                    *
 ┊  ╭      ME:........不可能吧........什么牌?                            ┊
 ┊ ( )  ┊  GG:“靠”(KAO)                                               ┊
 * (26)  *  ME:........怎么说粗话啊你!                                 ┊ ┊
    ︶   ┊                                        (to be continued)  *   *   
          ┊                                                              ┊   
  ┊  *   *                                                          ┊  ┊   
  *      ┊ GG(很委屈地):没有啊!我说的是你买的牌子啊!           *  *    
  ┊         ME:........哪有这种牌子!(火大!我有买过这种粗俗的肥皂  ┊       
  ┊         给他吗?!!)                                                  ┊ 
  ┊         (三秒顿悟)                               
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