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怀念母亲

(2018-06-27 18:57:15) 下一个

她的一生艰难,认真,保守,但让子女们胸怀大志。 她不甘落后,不畏强暴,虽然见识不广,但认真地活着。永远的怀念,永远的祈祷。

 

献给母亲的小说 

(2015-11-07 15:28:46)
《小燕子在唱...》作者:林海雪原§1§那是夏天。临汾的夏天炎热、干燥,酷暑八月,炽热的太阳烤在街道两边建筑物的砖墙和混凝土上,也烤着那马路上的沥青上,黑色的焦油融化成像慢慢流动的熔岩。鞋和自行车轮胎压上去,就像在雪地里踏出的脚印一样,焦油闻起来就像烧焦的轮胎。一整天的烤炙后,太阳落下了吕梁山的另一边。到了晚上,精疲力竭的男女们诅咒[阅读全文]
 
2019-8-8
母亲去世两年了。 
这两年经常在梦中见到她, 但从来在梦中没有意识到她的离世,场景总是停留在她在世的时候, 大概在五十岁的时段。
生命如此的短暂,我觉得每天的忙忙碌碌中能在梦中相见也是一种奢侈。
生命如此的浮华,我觉得生命的意义就是在于在一生里编织回忆。
在我生命的尽头,我希望我的存在也显示在其他人的记忆及梦中, 尤其是儿子的梦中, 希望他记忆的内容是幸福的内容。
存在乃是生命的意义。
珍视你现在的存在, 珍视你周围的现实。
也不要忘了昔日的记忆。
 
September 2, 2019
忆母亲
再梦先妣郊游,儿时故地又一秋。昏昏欲睡恨惊醒,却见嫦娥挥袖愁。知否,知否?明月初上枝头。
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林海雪原zhong 回复 悄悄话 finally painted mother's portrait and hope to upload it successfully.
林海雪原zhong 回复 悄悄话 It's been four year since she left us. Memories came like squalls, chilling and aimless, and random dreams brought us together in a different world....

A man's life came from a woman, and ends with another woman, or man. He loves both and cherishes them both. Yet, he is in the dark, most of the time as to why this is.

May the Almighty keep her soul in Heaven where there is no humanly pain and suffering. May my memories of her be a part of her legacy as a woman who suffered from a step mother, horrific and traumatic memories of war, and political turmoil, poor health and depression. May these words pass on to tell those who don't know her that life is short, brutal, and nasty. Cherish each other and just be nice.

And be sensible to our environment. Your individual needs, wealth, and desires are nothing but dust in the wind.

Thy will be done. Amen.

林海雪原zhong 回复 悄悄话 A woman that didn't succumb to bullying step mother, who grew up resilient and with big dreams, only to bow down to the needs of daily living. Yet, she pushed her children to dream big and to become men of knowledge. A woman that despised unfairness and corruption, yet had to lower her head when her son was and would be unfairly taken away from a basic high school education.

A woman who struggled all her life. Like a stubborn lioness, she fought a good fight!

May the Lord have mercy on you and give you a better time up there.

I shall talk to you in my dreams...

As my son will speak to me in his dreams after I am gone. Yes, son, I am listening because I know you will be talking, even though I know you are busy in your little world right now.

Just promise me, as I have promised my mother, that you will live a happy, meaningful life, and stay away from pain and stupidity.

We will all meet up there for BBQ one day.
林海雪原zhong 回复 悄悄话 Mother's Day

May you have peace and freedom from pain up there. Will join you later.

With memories and regrets.

林海雪原zhong 回复 悄悄话 Macbeth
"Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
(Act V, Scene V, Line 26)
William Shakespeare
林海雪原zhong 回复 悄悄话 Another year of Qingming Festival - Life of Coronavirus doesn't make it easy, but easier on the soul - Life can be very long without hope, but very short when you want to live...

May your soul rest in peace Mother and watch over us down here figuring out how to avoid the virus.

Life all ends in eternity, yet, eternity is forever eventless and life is memory upon memory and without anyone remembering your existence, there is no life.

林海雪原zhong 回复 悄悄话 Life goes downhill, by definition, simply because of the cycle of life - Birth, youth, middle age, old age, and inevitably death.

Given such a fate that all living organisms destined for, spring and youth are the most precious, yet not necessarily the most mentally reflective stages of organisms - such is the irony of life - best years are buried in the lack of understanding of self; last years are buried in too much understanding of self, yet a self not to be enjoyed as youths due to natural deterioration of the organism, if not doubled with diseases.

If human civilization is evolutionary, then all is right that exists. To defy fate is useless; yet to defy such a helpless fate is to live. To live a meaningful hour per day, a meaningful day per week, and a meaningful month per year. Meaningful in a sense that each organism is capable of.

When a butterfly flutters to grow and when an antelope springs across the African plain, or even when an earth worm wiggles through its dirt path, they are all living a meaningful life only designed to themselves. Such designs cannot be defied, just like a fish cannot defy its water by flying in the air.

So do your humanly things as humans, as bugs do their buggy things.

When death smiles at you - you can do nothing but smile back...

Hopefully, without too much pain.
林海雪原zhong 回复 悄悄话 林海雪原zhong2019-11-28 13:59:58
The life of a mother...

You think you can forget and lead a busy material life. You think that you could go on and numb your senses with the busyness of work, cleaning, cooking, and sleeping. But you can't. You are a walking living memory of your past and your past is always there.

In remembrance we continue the saga of a mother, a family, a clan, a race, and a nation. In remembrance we celebrate the existence of a life, a being, against the eternal existence of darkness and death. Life is conceived at random, fostered through humanly love, highlighted by youthful play, nourished through innocence and experience, and carried on through remembrance of the loved and living.

May your soul rest in peace and comfort Mother. Drop us a rain and paint us a rainbow to say "hello" as we look up the sky and see your face. Thou shalt not be forgotten; not on earth and certainly not in Heaven.
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