QingMing Fast

Sunday Apr 7 8:30am. 9 hours to go.

 

Bill started the tradition when his dad died. It was April 2020 and after Covid

hit, the Chinese government cancelled his 10-year visa. New visas were issued

for emergency only but Bill chose not to kowtow. Dad went to the hospital

for acute pancreatitis and passed away in two weeks. That day, Bill started

a fast. Over the years, guilt has fed on itself and he has stuck to the personal

48-hour ritual around QingMing, the 15th day after the spring equinox.

 

The darkest hour struck last evening, one day into the fast. The mystery he was

reading was not exactly engaging at this point. He kept popping in the kitchen

and could barely repress the urge for a bite. Each time, however, he reminded

himself of his pledge and return to his desk. Things went on like that for a

couple of hours and the hunger pangs passed.

 

11:30pm. He went to bed, later than usual to make sure he was drowsy. As a

habit, disturbing thoughts started to crowd his mind once he lay down. His jaws

and face flexed unconciously as he tried to relax. It was a battle. An empty

stomach does not help but focusing on breathing does. His feet would stay chilly

until he wins. He lost twice before and was keyed up all night. This round, it

took an hour or two. His feet warmed up and he fell asleep soon after.

 

Upon waking up at 7:30am, he did not crave food and his mind was clear. He did

10 reps of sun salutation and toe-to-the-bar ab curls and weighed 157.6 lbs.

 

In addition to books, Bill kept coffee brewing. He found the black liquid a

great companion, especially during a fast. It hydrated the body with no calories

added and sipping the bitter drink gave him something to do.

 

At noon, he trotted over to the library and back in 70 minutes. His hunger felt

almost pleasant as he brisk-walked through the sweet-scented early-spring

neighborhoods, sweating and imagining the body deep in autophagy, recycling old

and damaged cells.

 

4:30pm. After reading on the balcony for three hours, he felt weak and

light-headed. The hunger had advanced but only one hour remained.

 

5:30pm. Break the fast with an avocado, a Blue Moon (Belgian beer), pecans,

cashew nuts, brown rice, a can of sardines and a quarter can of SPAM, Chinese

pickled vegetables, and a cup of decaf joe.

[7grizzly]

回复 '暖冬cool夏' 的评论 : Thank you, 暖冬, for reading and liking. My mind sharpens and awareness soars during a fast. After more than a dozen times since 2020, it gets much easier. I don't know if it's practice or my aging. Maybe both.

[暖冬cool夏]

Never know that acute pancreatitis can be so fatal. Must have some complications at his age.
After 48 hours, everything that came into your mouth must taste better:))
Love your Bill's story, vivid and self-revealing!