2. 克莱文杰

话说刑事调查部的那名工作人员，倒是挺走运。医院外烽火连天。战争中的发了疯的人们被授予勋章。世界各地的男孩子们为所谓的祖国捐躯，倒在各自的轰炸前线。没人在乎这一切，更不用说这些年轻的生命了。眼下看不到时局有什么结局。唯一可看到的倒是尤塞瑞恩自己的结局。要不是那个爱国的德克萨斯人─那个下巴底下那堆肉大得像漏斗，头发凌乱得象草垛，挂在脸上的永恒笑容象一顶十加仑黑帽的帽檐，尤塞瑞恩原本可以在医院呆到世界未日。那个德克萨斯要病房里的每一个人都快快乐乐， 除了尤塞瑞恩和邓巴。德克萨斯人真是病入膏肓了。

即便德克萨斯人想让尤塞瑞恩有好日子过，尤塞瑞恩亦快活不起来。因为医院外面没有什么令人快乐的事儿。唯一在进行的是战争。似乎没人注意到这一点， 只有尤塞瑞恩和邓巴例外。尤塞瑞恩试图提醒人们这一点，可人们躲着他，觉得他疯了。就连克莱文杰，本该很清楚这一点的，此时却也犯傻。克莱文杰在尤塞瑞恩躲进医院之前见了他，也说他失去了理智。


克莱文杰义愤填膺，怒目相向，两手紧抓住桌子，高声喊着：“你这个疯子！”


“克莱文杰，你究竟要别人怎么样才是？”军官俱乐部的喧闹声中，邓巴提高嗓门，极不耐烦地回敬了一句。


“我可不是在开玩笑，”克莱文杰毫不退让。


“他们是想杀了我，”尤塞瑞恩镇定地对他说。


“没人想杀你，”克莱文杰高声叫道。 “那他们干吗向我开枪？”尤塞瑞恩问。


“他们谁都不放过，见谁便开枪，”克莱文杰回答说，“他们要杀所有的人。”
“杀所有的人和杀我又有什么不同？”


克莱文杰早已失去了控制，激动得从椅子上撑起半个身体，双眼噙著泪水，苍白的嘴唇不停地打颤。当他为自己信守的原则与人争吵时，他总会呼吸急促，不住地眨眼，痛苦地强忍著泪水而结束争吵。克莱文杰凡事咬死理。他真的失去了理智。
“他们是谁？”他想弄个明白。
“确切点说，你觉得是谁想谋害你？”


“他们中的每一个人，”尤塞瑞恩告诉他说。
“他们是谁？”
“你看呢？”


“这我可说不上。”
“那你又怎么知道他们不想杀我呢？”


“因为……”克莱文杰嗑巴起来，沮丧至极地缄口不语。
克莱文杰确实以为自己是对的，但尤塞瑞恩有证据在。每次执行空中轰炸任务，他都会遭到陌生人的炮火袭击，这可不好玩。要说这不好玩，很多其他事情更不是好玩。像个流浪汉住在皮亚诺萨岛上的帐篷里，背靠崇山峻岭，面对平静，蓝色的海洋一点也不好玩。那海水一抽筋，一眨眼的功夫，便能把人吞噬。三天后，海水把人送上海滩，一了百了地， 剩下的是一个青紫，浮肿的躯体，海水从冰冷的鼻孔里缓慢地流出。
在尤塞瑞恩居住的帐篷和邓巴的中队之间隔着一片稀落晦暗的森林。紧靠帐篷一侧是一条废弃的铁路壕沟，沟里有一条通向机场的，向燃料卡车运送航空汽油的管道。托同屋的奥尔的洪福，这个帐篷是全中队最奢侈的帐篷。尤塞瑞恩每次从医院疗养回来或是从罗马休假返回营地，总会惊奇地发现，奥尔趁他不在时，添了一些新的生活设施─自来水，烧木柴的壁炉，水泥地板。帐篷是由尤塞瑞恩择定地点，然后与奥尔联手搭起来的。奥尔是个小矮个，胸佩空军飞行徽章，成天笑嘻嘻的，一头浓密的褐色卷发，由正中向两边分开。尤塞瑞恩较他身高肩宽，强壮迅捷。奥尔负责出主意，尤塞瑞恩出力。帐篷搭得很大，能住六个人， 但仅住他们俩。酷夏来临时，奥尔卷起帐篷侧帘，如此虽能透些风进来， 但也难以吹走帐篷里的暑气。
哈弗迈耶住在尤塞瑞恩的隔壁。此人喜欢吃花生薄脆糖，独居一顶双人帐篷，每晚用从四五口径手枪射出的巨大的子弹屠杀小田鼠。枪是从尤塞瑞恩帐篷里的那个死人身上偷来的。麦克沃特是住在哈弗迈耶帐篷另一侧的邻居。他早先跟克莱文杰同住。尤塞瑞恩出院时，由于克莱文杰不在，麦克沃特便让内特利住进了自己的帐篷。内特利曾在罗马追求过一个自己深恋著的成日里睡眼惺忪的妓女，那妓女，对自己的行当，对内特利都很厌倦。麦克沃特很疯狂。他是个飞行员，一有机会，他便放开了胆子开着飞机，以极可能低的高度掠过尤塞瑞恩的帐篷，只是想看看自己会把尤塞瑞恩吓成啥样。他喜欢让飞机掠过在银色海滩沙洲附近的那只由空油筒浮载的木筏的上空，向正在海里裸泳的士兵们发出震耳欲聋的机擎的轰鸣声。跟一个疯子合住一顶帐篷，实在不是件容易的事，但内特利并不在乎。内特利自己也是个疯子，一有空，他便会赶去帮忙建造一个军官俱乐部─那个尤塞瑞恩从未出过一点力儿的军官俱乐部。


其实，许多军官俱乐部营建造，尤塞瑞恩都没有帮过什么忙，不过，皮亚诺萨岛上的这个俱乐部，倒是最令他感到自豪。这是一座体现他的意志力的纪念碑，它坚实牢固、构造复杂。俱乐部竣工以前，尤塞瑞恩从未出过一点儿力，之后，他倒是常去。那宽大，漂亮，层层木瓦盖的俱乐部，尤塞瑞恩见了，满心欢喜。这幢建筑的确很壮观。每次凝视着它，一股极强的成就感总会在尤塞瑞恩心里升腾，尽管他意识到自己从未为此出过一点儿力。


在军官俱乐部里的一张桌子旁，尤塞瑞恩和克莱文杰最后一次相互辱骂对方是疯子时，有四人在场。他们坐在后排，紧挨那张阿普尔比总想办法赢钱的双骰子赌台。阿普尔比精于掷骰子，就如他擅长打乒乓球一样，而他擅长打乒乓球，就如他擅长其他任何事情一样。阿普尔比每做一件事，都做得相当出色。阿普尔比是个衣阿华年轻人，一头金发，他信奉上帝、母爱和美国人的生活方式，尽管他从未想过要这么做。熟悉他的人，对他都颇有好感。
“我恨那个狗娘养的，”尤塞瑞恩怒吼道。
同克莱文杰吵架，是几分钟以前的事。当时，尤塞瑞恩想找一挺机关枪，但结果没有找到。那是一个繁忙的夜晚。酒吧里熙熙攘攘，双骰子赌台上忙，乒乓球台上更忙。尤塞瑞恩真想用机枪扫射忙着在酒吧里吟唱那些百听不厌的古老的感伤歌曲的那帮人。没有用机关枪向他们射击，尤塞瑞恩倒是用脚跟狠狠地踩了一下那只刚从两名打球的军官之一的球拍上掉落，朝他滚过来的乒乓球。


“尤塞瑞恩这家伙，”那两个军官摇了摇头笑道，随后便从架上的盒里又取了一只球。


“尤塞瑞恩这家伙，”尤塞瑞恩回了他们一句。
“尤塞瑞恩，”内特利向他低声警告。
“你们懂我的意思？”克莱文杰问。
听到尤塞瑞恩学舌，那两个军官又笑道：“尤塞瑞恩这家伙。”这回，声音更响。
“尤塞瑞恩这家伙，”尤塞瑞恩又照著说了一句。
“尤塞瑞恩，你行行好，”内特利恳求道。
“你们懂我的意思？”克莱文杰问，“他有反社会的敌对心理。”
“唉呀，你给我闭嘴吧，”邓巴对克莱文杰说。邓巴喜欢克莱文杰，原因是，克莱文杰常惹他恼火，仿佛让时间走慢了些。
“阿普尔比不在这儿，”克莱文杰洋洋得意地对尤塞瑞恩说。
“谁说阿普尔比了？”尤塞瑞恩想弄个清楚。
“卡思卡特上校也不在。”

“谁说卡思卡特上校了？”

“那你究竟恨哪个狗娘养的？”

“哪个狗娘养的在这儿？”

“我不想跟你吵。”克莱文杰下定了决心。“你自己都不清楚恨谁。”

“谁想毒死我，我就恨谁，”尤塞瑞恩告诉他说。

“没人想毒死你。” “他们在我吃的东西里下过两次毒，是不是有这回事？一次是弗拉拉战役，一次是博洛尼亚围攻大战役，他们是不是这么干过？”
“他们在每个人的食物里都下过毒，”克莱文杰解释道。

“那又有啥不同？”

“那根本不是什么毒药！”克莱文杰很激动地大叫道。他愈发慌乱，也就愈发加重了自己说话的语调。

尤塞瑞恩耐了性子，微笑着给克莱文杰做解释，就他的记忆所及，有人一直想谋害他。有人喜欢他，也有人不喜欢他；不喜欢他的那些人便恨他，想尽办法害他。他们恨他，就因为他是亚述人。但是，他对克菜文杰说，他们别想碰他一下，因为他的躯体纯洁，灵魂健全，体壮如牛。他们别想碰他一下，因为他是泰山，曼德雷克，霹雳火戈登。他是比尔·莎士比亚。他是该隐，尤利西斯，漂泊的荷兰水手。他是所多玛的罗得，忧伤的黛特，树林里夜莺群中的斯威尼。他是神奇人物Z ──247，他是──

“疯子！”克莱文杰打断他的话，锐声叫喊，“你是个十足的疯子！”
“与众不同，我的的确确是个非同寻常、长了三头六臂的了不起的人物。我是个真正的奇人。” “超人？”克莱文杰嚷道，“超人？”

“奇人，”尤塞瑞恩纠正道。
“嘿，伙计们，别争啦。”内特利很是尴尬地恳求着。

“大伙儿都在瞧著咱们。”
“你这个疯子！”克莱文杰愤怒地叫着，两眼充满了泪水。”你得了耶和华症候群。”

“我想人人都是拿山牛。”
克莱文杰突然中断了自己的慷慨陈词，表情疑惑。“谁是拿山牛？”

“哪个拿山牛？”尤塞瑞恩故作无知地问道。
克莱文杰乖觉地避开了这个圈套。“你觉得人人都是耶和华。你跟瑞斯考尼科夫没什么不同。”

“谁？”

“─是,瑞斯考尼科夫，他──”

“瑞斯考尼科夫！”

“─他─我说的是实话一那人以为自己能找出一个用斧头砍死个老太婆的合法性。”

“没有比用斧头更好的？”

“是的，杀了人，再替自己找个借口，是的─是用斧头砍死的！我有事实可以证明，让你心服口服。”克莱文杰呼吸急促地一一列数了尤塞瑞恩的种种症状：无缘无故地把周围的人当成疯子；想用机枪扫射杀死陌生人的强迫心理；颠倒时空，编造回忆；凭空猜疑别人记恨他，一直密谋著害他。

但尤塞瑞恩知道自己并没有错，因为他很清楚自己从没错过，正象他曾解释给克莱文杰的那样，放眼四周，到处是疯子，在这疯子充斥的世界里，像他自己这样理智而有教养的年轻人唯一能做的就是保持自己的观点。他必须这样，因为他明白他的生命危在旦夕。

尤塞瑞恩出院归队，无论见着谁，总会警惕地上下打量人家一番。米洛不在，去了士麦那收获无花果。米洛不在的日子里，食堂照旧平稳运营。医院和中队驻地之间那条崎岖蜿蜒的道路，象条断裂的吊袜带。救护车沿那条路颠簸前行，坐在驾驶室里的尤塞瑞恩闻到了辣羊肉的扑鼻香味，顿时食欲大起。午餐是烤羊肉串，炭火上方，串在炙叉上的一块块大而美味的羊肉，被烤得魔鬼般地滋滋作响。串羊肉烤前用一种秘方配制的卤汁浸泡了七十二小时，那秘方是米洛从黎凡特的一个刁滑奸商那里窃取来的。作为主菜肴，羊肉串与伊朗白米饭和芦笋尖帕尔马干酪先上，接著上的便是樱桃甜点，然后是一杯杯热气腾腾，掺和了本尼迪克汀甜酒和白兰地的鲜咖啡。午餐的菜肴由熟练的意大利侍者一道接一道地端上来，摆在铺著织花台布的餐桌上。这些侍者，是由德·科弗利少校从欧洲大陆诱拐来并交给米洛的。

在米洛的食堂里，尤塞瑞恩狼吞虎咽地，吃到觉得肚子快要胀破了方才罢休。然后，他瘫塌地倒在坐椅上， 一动不动地发呆犯傻，嘴里还含著一层薄薄的残菜渣。中队的军官们谁也不曾象这样如此大饱口福过。尤塞瑞恩正思忖着这一切是否划得来。可就在这时，他打了嗝，想到了一件事了：他们一直想杀他。于是，他发狂似地冲出食堂，去找丹尼卡医生，请求他让自己解甲归田。他找到了正坐在帐篷外的一只高凳上晒太阳的丹尼卡医生。

“五十次，”丹尼卡医生摇著头说，“上校要求飞满五十次。”

“可我只飞了四十四次！”

丹尼卡医生无动于衷。这家伙长得像只鸟，老是愁眉苦脸的。那张刮刀脸，上宽下尖，修刮得光溜溜的，像只梳洗得很干净的耗子。

“五十次，”他又摇了摇头，说了一遍。“上校要求飞满五十次。”

第二章 Chapter 2 CHAPTER 2: CLEVINGER

Summary

Yossarian lives in a tent along with his roommate Orr. Orr is described as "a grinning pygmy with pilotós wings." He is very enterprising and has equipped the tent with a fireplace, running water and a cement floor. In the next tent lives Havermeyer. He shoots tiny field mice every night.

McWatt and Nately have a tent close by. McWatt is a "crazy" pilot who flies his plane as low as possible over Yossarianós tent to frighten him. Nately is in love with a Roman prostitute. Another officer, Appleby believes in God, Motherhood, and the American way of life. Yossarian hates Appleby.

Yossarian is now out of hospital. Before he had entered the hospital, Yossarian had told Clevinger that some people were trying to kill him (Yossarian), but that he had no idea who they were. Yossarian believes that they will not succeed in killing him because he is a hero: "a Tarzan, Mandrake, Flash Gordon." Clevinger tells Yossarian that he is crazy.

Yossarian meets Doc Daneeka and asks to be taken off combat duty and sent home. Daneeka tells him that he must complete fifty missions in order to be sent home as Cathcart has raised the required number. Yossarian has only completed forty-four.

Analysis

One of the aspects of Heller's style is a disjointed logic familiar to viewers of comic routines popular during World War II, such as the Marx Brothers' dialogues or Abbott and Costello's "Who's on First?" An early example is the exchange between Yossarian and Clevinger in Chapter 2. Yossarian complains, "They're trying to kill me." "Who's they?" asks Clevinger. "Who, specifically, do you think is trying to murder you?" Yossarian answers, "Every one of them." The dialogue continues:

"Every one of whom?"

"Every one of whom do you think?"

"I haven't any idea."

"Then how do you know they aren't?"

Part of Yossarian's problem is that he quite justifiably, quite sanely thinks that the enemy gunners shooting at his plane are trying to kill him! He takes it personally. Clevinger, who is very bright but a conformist, accepts the madness of war as reasonable.

Other characters introduced in these chapters are of varying importance. The Texan is a very pleasant, very ignorant bigot who maintains that "people of means ù decent folk ù should be given more votes than drifters, whores, criminals, degenerates, atheists, and indecent folk." Yossarian can't stand him. After ten days, the Texan's disgusting charm has cleared the ward, sending Yossarian back to his tent in the squadron. Chaplain Tappman is briefly introduced as one of Yossarian's favorites; we'll hear much more from him as the novel develops. Dunbar is one of Yossarian's best friends. Dunbar has a theory that he can extend his life by exposing himself to as much boredom as possible, thus making time seem to pass more slowly.

Perhaps representing the anonymity of the individual in the institutional military, the "soldier in white" is especially important to the grave tone in the background of the opening chapters. The enigmatic soldier in white was smuggled into the ward in the middle of the night and is "encased from head to toe in plaster and gauze." The soldier's four limbs are pinioned in air by lead weights. No one knows for sure if the soldier is black or white, male or female, or even if there is a body inside the casing. The closest anyone ever comes to seeing the actual soldier is a frayed black hole over its mouth. The soldier in white is fed intravenously from a jar hanging above its casing; the soldier's urine drips through a tube into another jar, on the floor. When the feeding jar is empty, it is simply switched with the collecting jar so that the soldier apparently is "fed" its own urine. After Nurse Cramer's thermometer registers no temperature from the soldier in white, she declares the soldier dead. Yossarian and Dunbar accuse the bigoted Texan of murdering the soldier because the soldier is black; the Texan denies it, pointing out a historical fact: the Army was still segregated in 1944, and black soldiers would be in a different ward. Within the convoluted logic of the novel, in which cause and effect get confused, it is actually Nurse Cramer who has "murdered" the soldier; if she had not taken its temperature, the soldier would not have been declared dead.

Notes

We are introduced to some of Yossarianós fellow soldiers. They appear grotesque in character. Hellerós characters are drawn almost to the point of caricature. We can remember some of the characters by the unique things they habitually do: Havermeyer shoots tiny field mice at night, and McWatt loves to fly his plane as low as possible.

Yossarian hates Appleby because Appleby believes in the American system, and Yossarian no longer does. Yossarian deserves a rest, yet Cathcart keeps raising the required number of missions to bolster his own status. of America. Yossarian knows democracy does not exist within the armed forces and throughout the novel he will fight for his rights as a soldier.

There is evidence that Yossarian is beginning to lose his sanity when he says that everybody is trying to kill him. But it is also Hellerós way of exposing the utter indifference of the administrative officers, and the low morale of the fighting men. Yossarian believes that his commanding officer is trying to kill him by sending him on more missions.