My husband bought me an automatic dishwasher for my birthday. In filling out the guarantee, he came across the question, “What year and model dishwasher did you're replace?" He wrote: "Wife—Age 24".
2 跑道已清/The runways are clear
An airline ticket agent was being given a particularly rough time by a woman who complained about the departure times. She said, “Young man, I could stick a feather in my ear and get there faster. "
"Madam," replied the agent calmly, "the runways are clear."
3 一报还一报/Tit for Tat
An acquaintance of mine stopped at a local tavern after work and spent the evening there. When he arrived home around ten o'clock, his wife was sitting at the kitchen table, waiting. Instead of questioning or scolding him, however, she simply asked pleasantly if he wanted dinner. He was not interested in eating, and went off to bed.
At 3:30 am, the alarm went off. He scrambled out of bed and turned on the light. When he saw the time, he roared at his wife, demanding an explanation.
"Well," she replied placidly, "if it took you four hours to get home from work, I figured it would take you four hours to get back to work, and I didn't want you to be late. "
4 我对她不了解/I don't know her well
As a courier for an express delivery service, I tried to deliver a package that required refrigeration, but found no one home. I went to the house next door and told the woman who answered that I had a package for her neighbor." Oh, she works Monday through Friday and every other Saturday, "said the woman, "and some Sundays. She leaves about 7:40 in the morning and gets home around 5:30，unless she goes to the store, in which case it's closer to seven. And she's going to the store tonight because her kids are coming to visit her all the way from California!"
When she paused to take a breath, I asked if she would accept her neighbor's package. "Oh, no, I can't do that, "she said. "I don't know her that well. "
5 永远是驾驶员!/Be a driver
Our oldest son, Willy, a helicopter pilot stationed at Fort Rucker, Alaska, lives and breathes flying. When he called to say he'd be driving home for Christmas, a 16-hour trip, we were surprised. "Why don’t you fly home?" my wife asked.
"Because," Willy replied, "I hate riding in the back! "
6 不同职责/Different duty
I was taking my mother for a drive, and she' d scold me whenever I went over the speed limit. Unfortunately, I dismissed her advice, and a state trooper pulled me over and issued a ticket.
As my mother and I continued on our way, I complained that he should have let me off with a warning. "Joan," she said, "I gave you the warning. He gave you the ticket. "