20060727 Words for my boy

Hi, boy,

I checked my mail this morning. I know you finished reading all my diaries. Well, so now you finally catch up with my writing. I think you must be very busy these days. As I checked the mail updated time, I figured out you actually only spent 1 minute for each of them. I think you should slow down a bit. Everyday, I spend at least 30 minutes writing to you. Why does it take that long? OK, first, I have to filter out all the sad or upset parts from my diary, leaving the happy and encouraging ones to you; also, sometimes I want to tell you something, but in an indirect way, so I kinda hide them in my sentences--that's the game you always ask me to play; thus, I have to make sure my implications are properly written. As a result, if you can spend a bit more time reading each diary, you will know exactly what I try to tell you. For example, didn't you notice I've mentioned my blog a few times recently and I said I liked writing something different on my blog than the ones I sent you? If you can catch it, you should know I am trying to invite you to read my blog, even I don't say it obviously. You can't know my life and feelings completely unless you read both the diaries and my blog. I've got 1850 visitors so far. I'm not sure if you are any of them. You never said you read anything from my blog, even the one whose link I did send to you. OK OK...Are you trying to tell me it's all because of your busy work? I've been trying my best to understand that. At the end of the day, I will be the one putting all effort to maintain our relationship, so I shouldn't blame on myself. What about you? I'm not sure. You get to ask yourself...



What I'm trying to say is that please do give me a bit more time. You said you enjoyed reading my diaries like dessert, so please leave more time for them, and show some respect and appreciation to my work. They aren't instant noodles. Please take your time. I don't mind if you are a few days behind. The point is you need to understand how I feel and what I'd like you to do. And, for the questions I ask in the diaries, you will be doning me a great favor if you can just answer them in a few words, ie. write 1 or 2 sentences at the end of my diary instead of simply putting down 'done'. Please don't ignore them. I don't think I ask you questions too often anyway. Hopefully you won't think I'm getting more and more troublesome, and asking too much from you.





(side, I'm sure my boy won't get a chance to read this post if he never comes to my blog. I just want to wrtie down my dissatisfaction and tiny anger that I can't express to him. For visitors, sorry if you feel you fell in my trap)