饶舌

朋友送我一首歌，歌名叫做 Shape of My Heart（博克里正在播放的），其实我的回应应该是 What is the shape of my heart 才对题。不过我要偏开一点，我想说人生如玩牌。

 
 Shape of My Heart~

He deals the cards as a meditation
And those he plays never suspect
He doesn’t play for the money he wins
He doesn’t play for the respect
He deals the cards to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden law of probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that’s not the shape of my heart

He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that’s not the shape of my heart
That’s not the shape, the shape of my heart

And if I told you that I loved you
You’d maybe think there’s something wrong
I’m not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
Those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who smile are lost

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that’s not the shape of my heart
That’s not the shape of my heart
 

玩牌的人各有各的目的，至少有三种很不同的心态或者玩法。很多人玩牌是为了赌博，为了赢；还有很多人玩牌是为了测算人生；省下还有不少人玩牌什么都不为，就为了玩。赌博的人最野心勃勃，也最兢兢业业，最勇敢也最谨小慎微，投下的是时间，精力，闲暇，辛苦，劳累，甚至健康和生命，赢得的是财富，地位或者声望。测算的人最茫然也最坚定，最貌似无力却又可能最力抵千钧，任何信仰都产生力量，把命运寄托在各种测算，求祷上因此不是没有理由的。纯粹玩耍的，可能最富有最不需要劳作，他们如果去赌博，反而可能减少财富和安逸，所以最好的选择是玩过每一局，玩过每一天，他们的玩被好多人羡慕不已，被看作高雅，闲情逸致；还有一些人正好相反，一无所有，也可能玩，所谓穷乐，因为没有任何资源，资本的人没人带他玩赌博，人生赌场也是有门槛的，虽然各个人群门槛高低不同。他们不得不玩，他们的玩被看作浑浑噩噩，不知死活。

其实很难用玩牌的心态截然划分人群，因为赌博的人有的时候也玩测算，赌得一败涂地的时候他们也可能一蹶不振，走向浑浑噩噩。那些总玩测算的，可能把冥想当真实而抓住了某种机会，从此赌兴大发，一发不可收拾。那些有钱有闲的，也可能终于觉得无聊或者被教导保持一颗好赌的心，以普通赌徒的姿态加入赌博，那些浑浑噩噩之徒，机会最少，却也不是一点咸鱼翻身的可能都没有。

大多数时候，人在三种玩法中尝试，一个阶段主要这么玩，另一个阶段主要那么玩，并不是一种玩法贯穿整个人生，但是不同类型的人会保持一种基本的倾向或心态贯穿他的人生。如果你问我 “What is the shape of your heart" , 呵呵，我不告诉你。