15minutesafteraquickcall,Bill'sfuturelandlord,ahandsomeladyinadark
businessoutfit,showedupinawhiteSUV.Underalushheadofblackhair
trimmedinabob,shewasabout5'6",andlookedherlate30s.Businesswas
conductedinMandarian.Intenmoreminutes,theybriefedeachother,agreedon
theterms,andthedealwasdone."CallmesisterFan."Sheextendedherhand
withasmile.Shewassofriendlythatshehelped...[
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Iwasmullingoverthenewsstoryofa43-year-oldJDexecutivewhenwewere
stuckinnorth-boundtrafficnearSFO.Itsoundedalltoofamiliar:ayoungman
strivingforfameandfortunecametoapointofreckoningafterbeingdiagnosedwith
aterminalillnessinmid-life.Whilenotgivinguphiscareer,theguyhadimproved
relationshipwithhiswifeandevenwroteaguideforhistwo-year-oldson.Ithas
beenarecurringthemeinthenews.
Itremi...[
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BillfirstcametotheSFBayAreainAug2000towitnessthelaststageofthe
dotcombubble.Acclimatizedforonlyoneyearinthewest,heknewnothingabout
IPOsorstocks,however,andhadnoget-rich-quickplans.Amy,hiswife,was
admittedtothebachelorprograminthedepartmentofeconomicsatthesame
CanadianuniversitywhereBillwasafirst-yeargraduatestudent.Ashis
scholarshipcoveredonlyhisowntuition,moneyhadtocomefromelsewher...[
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Timwaspromotedtoyellowbeltandtoldmehehadtoliveuptoit.Thatwas
thebestnewssinceCovidstarted.Remote-learninghelpedtokeepthefirealive
foroneyearbutcouldnotreplacesparring.Wecamebackonthemattofinda
coupleofhismateswhotrainedinpersonthroughthepandemichadimproved
greatly.Consistencywasthekey.
Exceptforafewblackandbrownbelts,Iprobablyamtheoldestinthegym.
ButIdon'tfeelitandItrainh...[
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AmongmanyaudiobooksweusedtoenjoyonourcommutewasAngela'sAshesby
FrankMcCourt.Itwasnocheerysoapoperabutanaccountofsurvivalandhope
amiddirepovertyandendlessmiseries.Theauthorwasamasterinmixinghumor
intragedies,however.DeliveredwithanIrishaccent,hischildhoodstories
oftencrackedusupbeforeleavingabitternesswhichmadeuswonderifwe
shouldhavelaughedinthefirstplace.
“Themaster...[
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Withage,Billhasgravitatedtowardaquietcurmudgeon.Thesapphireskyand
soothingbreezeoftheCaliforniacoastthatattracttouristsoftheworld
oftendepresshim.Heremindshimselftobethankfulbutseemstohaverunout
ofgratitudeafterlivinginthegoldenstatefor15years.Hestartstoblame
theweather,bybeingperfect,forcallinguphispersonalfailuresandflaws
andsuggestingthathemightbeundeserving.
Manybelieveth...[
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InaworldfullofjabNazisandmaskKarens,Icapitulated.Mondaymorning,I
receivedtheseconddoseoftheModernavaccine."Itwillfeelworsethanthe
first."warnedthepetiteAsiannursematter-of-factlyattheWalk-inCarein
northSanJose.
ThepainontheleftshoulderkeptspreadingandIsneezedacoupleoftimesby
theafternoon.ButImanagedtotrainJiu-Jitsuandrollwiththreeguysinthe
evening.
Therealass...[
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Inthefirstweeksofhigh-school,Timjoinedclubs,madenewfriends,
discoveredthegardenandthegym,acedhisclasses,androdethetrainback
homeeveryday.Itwasgorgeousweatheranddespitetheheatofearly
Septemberafternoons,Ioftentooka10minwalktothetrainstationtomeet
him.Intwoyears,hehadsurpassedmeinbothheightandweight.Watchinghim
inadarkT-shirtandshortblackhairlumberinglikeabearacrossthe
platformonth...[
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ThiswasthefirstyearIpaidalotofattentiontomybackyardgarden.There
wereonlyafewpotsofherbsandvegetablesbuttheyhadprovideddailya
healthydistractionfrommydesk-boundroutines.
TheheirloomtomatoseedssavedfromlastyearandburiedinthepotsearlyFeb
quicklybrokeoutandturnedintosaplings.ThesoilwasrichandalthoughI
usednofertilizers,theplantsgrewtallandstrong.ByMaytheyboretwo
dozensoffruitsafe...[
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TheChinesetermforJiuJitsu,柔术,isoftentranslatedto"thegentleart,"
stressingtechniqueandleverageoverstrength.Indeed,whenHelioGracieinthe
1930sstartedtoadaptwhataJapaneseJudokataughtthefamily,hewasthe
leastathleticamongthebrothers.Thestyleheeventuallycreatedwasforthe
weaktodefendthemselvesagainstthestrong,atenetforeverringingtrue.
Somethereforethinkoneshouldapproachthear...[
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