给我亲爱弟弟的一封信

给我亲爱弟弟的一封信

2011年暑假期间，我在国内带领的退修会《父母营》里，特别邀请了我的父亲和弟弟作为嘉宾参加。父子三人异地重聚，流下了不少的眼泪，神使用这个营会深深地医治和更新了我们彼此的关系，我的弟弟还决志信主（父亲十几年前就接受了耶稣为他个人的救主和生命的主）。倦鸟归巢，迷羊知返，浪子回家，我欢呼雀跃，相信天使们也跟我一起庆贺！感谢弟弟放下农活，陪着年迈的父亲从湖南的乡下辗转到西安来参加父母营，下面是我在父母营里当众读给弟弟的一封信。

亲爱的弟弟：

想给你写封信好好地表达一下我心中对你的感激已经有相当长的一段时间了，可是每次提笔，总是思潮翻滾，思绪万千，不知道从何写起，所以一直都沒有如愿。感谢这次父母营的安排，这一天终于来临。

时间过得真快，不知不觉自己已经人到中年。最近突然发现我特别喜欢回顾过去，而越回顾过去就越感到自己实在是一个非常蒙福的人——我出生并成长長在一个爱的家庭，我被爱包围，我饱受家人的爱与关怀，其中，从你来的那一份特别厚重，沉甸甸的，叫我一辈子都没法忘怀，几辈子也没有办法还清。

谢谢你，我亲爱的弟弟，谢谢你牺牲自己的前途，牺牲自己的梦想，牺牲自己的学业，全力地支持我念完高中，念完大学。弟弟，也许你不知道，我本科毕业在一个教育单位工作两年之后又跑去北大攻读硕士和博士学位，其实有一个非常朴素的动机：杀出一条血路，盼望有朝一日，我能把你和其他家人带到城里，不再过面朝黄土背朝天的生活，只是至到如今愿望仍然没有达成。

谢谢你，我亲爱的弟弟，谢谢你这么多年独自承担照顾父亲的责任。为了照顾他老人家，十几年了，你放弃外出打工的机会，呆在那个交通不便、经济落后的小山村里。村里绝大部分的青壮年都走出去了，赚了不少钱，回家盖了大房子，日子越过越红火，你却依旧住在那个越来越老旧的土坯房里。

弟弟，我没有忘记，也永远不会忘记你为我的牺牲，事实上，我一直尝试着做一些力所能及的回馈，只可惜常常事与愿违，多次的尝试，大都以失败告终：包括93年初把你介紹到湘潭，包括93年十月把你从海南弄到北京，包括几年前我和爱人买了一个房子送给你，回忆起来，几乎沒有一次帮到实处，叫你真正受用。

就说把你从海南弄到北京的事吧，那是九三年的秋天，我接到你寄自海南的信，你在信中告诉我，你新婚不久就辞别妻子，去海南一个建筑工地打工，主要想挣些钱，尽快把操办婚礼时借朋友的钱还了。可是，活儿实在太苦，一天要干十五六个小時，工资又很低，而你偏偏又生病了。我不假思索，劝你来北京，我答应給你在北京找一份工作。

你到北京的那天正好是中秋节，那晚的月亮很圆，可是我根本沒有时间和心情好好欣赏，因为当晚我要赶着去北京火车站接你。中秋的北京，夜晚已经有相当的凉意，我是穿着毛衣去接你的。见到你的時候，却发现你只穿了一件短袖上衣，背了一个很小很小的包，瑟瑟缩缩的，心里的怜恤油然而生。坐了二十多个小时的火车，终于到达终点站了，马上就要见到自己的兄弟，那份期盼与兴奋是可想而知的，但你的眼睛不大好，从车站跑出來又跑得太急，很不幸，穿涼鞋的脚磕在一个铁栏杆上，把右腳大拇趾的趾甲整個给揭了下來，血流如注，简单的处理之后，你忍着剧痛跟我回到北大。弟弟你知道吗？伤在你的脚上，卻痛在我的心里；血流在你的脚上，更是流在我的心里。就在那一刻，我开始明白，什么叫血肉相连，什么叫血浓于水，什么叫骨肉同胞，什么叫十指连心！

弟弟，你在北京的時候，住在我的宿舍，我就到处打游击。我托人给你找工作，人托人，找到一个看起来不错的工作，可是需要等很久，你等不及，就回家了。

弟弟，让你失望了，而且后来一次又一次地让你失望，我很抱歉，真对不起！

即便如此，我还是要感谢上帝，因为通过这些事情祂让我看到自己的有限；我感谢上帝，那些年间让我遭遇了不少挫折，因着这些挫折，我的生命得以蜕变更新。事实上，就是在事业、爱情、家庭都不如意，左右碰壁，四面楚歌，万念俱灰的時候，我遇到了耶穌。是祂把我从救世主情结里释放了出来，是祂把我从物质的捆绑中释放了出来，是祂指点迷津，是祂給我活下去的勇气和信心。我可以毫不夸张地说，耶稣是我的救命恩人。如果沒有祂，我今天十有八九不在这个世界上了。

弟弟，我知道有相当长一段时间，我是你的骄傲，直到我作出选择到美国念神学，然后作牧师。你听人说，做牧师其实就是当洋和尚，也是六亲不认，清心寡欲，不食人间烟火，这让你一度十分失望和伤心，而你失望和伤心的时候我也非常难过和痛苦。时间过得很快，今年是第11年了，我知道自己在很多方面看来没有什么成功，我还不是很有钱，和我大学同学甚至高中、初中同学相比，好像并不怎么样，没有给家里带来什么实惠。但我想让你知道，也请你放心，我走的是一条正路，我的工作也是一个正当的工作。作为教会的牧师，我们帮助软弱的人得刚强，绝望的人找到盼望，有苦毒的人能够饶恕，关系有伤害的能得到医治，简单地说，就是帮助人跟自己和好，跟家人和好，跟周围的人和好，跟伤害自己的人和好，跟自然和好；而这一切都根基于人跟神和好。当人跟神和好之后，才能找到生命的意义，才能在爱中生活，身心灵才健康。怎么样跟神和好呢？通过耶稣，而且只能通过耶稣。这几天，相信陪伴你的同工已经跟你解释的很清楚了，恕我不在这里赘述。

我非常喜欢我的工作，每次看到带着各种重担，心结、伤害、苦毒的问题人经过一段时日的陪伴，身心灵都健康起来，我很开心。我真的希望能够得到你的理解和支持。

 我也很希望你认识我信的这位耶稣，祂是唯一的真神，最大的医生，唯有祂是生命的主人，只有通过祂人才能得到真正的生命。跟随祂走这条人生的道路到现在，我没有后悔过，在祂那里有满足的喜乐，有医治，有更新，有自由，有爱，有真理，有恩典。

弟弟，我想告诉你的是，你为我、为这个家所作的一切牺牲，无所不知的上帝都看见了，祂必然厚厚地报答你。弟弟，你所遭遇的一切患难，都不是偶然的，如果没有上帝的容许，绝不会临到你身上，而既然发生了，必然有上帝的美意，虽然我们有限的头脑暂时不明白，不了解。上帝有能力帮助我们脱离贫穷的辖制和咒诅，但祂选择先处理我们的生命和人品，只有生命对了，人品对了，我们才可以承受祂的祝福。我绝对地相信，因着认识耶稣，我们家要承受极大的祝福，不仅如此，我们还要成为上帝祝福的管道，成为很多很多人的祝福。

爱你的二哥：祖幸   6/25/2011

参考译文by ChatGPT:

Dear younger brother,

I have been wanting to write you a letter to express my gratitude towards you for a long time now, but every time I try, my thoughts get jumbled up and I don't know where to begin. Thank God for the opportunity that this family camp has provided me to finally express my gratitude.

Time flies, and I have already reached middle age without realizing it. Lately, I have been fond of reminiscing about the past, and the more I look back, the more I feel how blessed I have been. I was born and raised in a loving family, surrounded by love and care from my family members. Among them, your love towards me has been especially significant and unforgettable.

Thank you, my dear brother, for sacrificing your own future, dreams, and education to support me in finishing high school and university. You might not know, but after graduating from university, I worked in a junior college for two years before pursuing my master's and Ph.D. degrees at Peking University. I had a simple motive: to create a path for myself and one day bring you and our family to the city, away from the life of facing yellow soil and back to the sky. Sadly, that dream has yet to come true.

Thank you, my dear brother, for shouldering the responsibility of taking care of our father for many years. For over a decade, you have given up opportunities to work elsewhere to stay in that remote, economically deprived village, where it's difficult to commute. Most young adults in the village have left and earned a lot of money, building big houses, and living prosperous lives. However, you still live in the old adobe house that has only gotten older over time.

Brother, I have not forgotten, nor will I ever forget your sacrifices for me. In fact, I have always tried to do what I can to repay you, but unfortunately, my efforts have often fallen short. From introducing you to a job in Xiangtan in early 1993, to bringing you from Hainan to Beijing in October of the same year, to buying a house for you and my loved ones a few years ago, almost every attempt has failed to truly benefit you.

Allow me to recount the time when I brought you from Hainan to Beijing. It was the autumn of 1993, and I received a letter from you, who had recently gotten married, telling me that you had left your wife to work at a construction site in Hainan, primarily to earn money to pay back the loan you had borrowed from a friend for the wedding. However, the work was too arduous, and you had fallen ill, with long working hours and low wages. Without hesitation, I advised you to come to Beijing, and promised to help you find a job here.

Dear brother, the day you arrived in Beijing happened to be the Mid-Autumn Festival. The moon was very round that night, but I had no time or mood to appreciate it because I had to rush to the Beijing railway station to pick you up. It was already quite chilly in Beijing during the Mid-Autumn Festival night, and I wore a sweater to pick you up. When I saw you, I realized that you were only wearing a short-sleeved shirt and carrying a very small bag. You were shivering, and I felt a great deal of sympathy for you. After sitting on the train for more than twenty hours, you finally arrived at the destination. You were about to see your brother, and the anticipation and excitement were beyond words. However, your eyes were not very good, and you ran out of the station too quickly. Unfortunately, you bumped your foot on an iron railing while wearing sandals, and the toenail of your right big toe was completely torn off, causing blood to flow out. After a simple treatment, you endured the severe pain and returned with me to Peking University. Little brother, do you know that the injury was on your foot, but the pain was in my heart? The blood flowed on your foot, but it flowed even more in my heart. It was at that moment that I began to understand what blood ties mean, what kinship means, and what it means to be connected at the heart.

Little brother, when you were in Beijing, you stayed in my dormitory while I went around playing guerrilla games. I asked someone to help you find a job. They found what seemed to be a good job, but it required waiting for a long time. You couldn't wait and went home.

I'm sorry to have disappointed you and let you down many times later. Nonetheless, I must thank God because through these things, He allowed me to see my limitations. I thank God for the setbacks I experienced during those years because they transformed and renewed my life. In fact, it was during the time when my career, love life, and family were all unfavorable and I faced obstacles from all sides that I met Jesus. He released me from the Messiah complex, freed me from material bondage, guided me through confusion, and gave me the courage and confidence to live on. I can say without exaggeration that Jesus is my savior. Without Him, I would most likely not be in this world today.

Little brother, I know that for a considerable period of time, I was your pride until I made the decision to study theology in the United States and become a pastor. You heard people say that being a pastor was essentially being a western monk, that we disowned our relatives, that we lived a life of purity and simplicity, and that we did not indulge in the worldly pleasures. This made you very disappointed and sad, and when you were disappointed and sad, I was also very unhappy and painful. Time passes quickly, and this year marks the 11th year. I know that in many ways, I may not seem very successful. I'm not very wealthy, and compared to my university classmates and even my high school and junior high school classmates, I may not seem to have achieved much or brought any practical benefits to my family. However, I want you to know and please rest assured that I am on the right path, and my job is also a legitimate one. As a pastor of the church, our job is to help the weak become strong, the hopeless find hope, the bitter forgive, and the wounded find healing in their relationships. In simple terms, we help people reconcile with themselves, their families, their communities, those who have hurt them, and with nature. And all of this is based on reconciling with God. When we reconcile with God, we find meaning in life, we can live in love, and our physical and mental health is improved. How do we reconcile with God? Through Jesus, and only through Jesus. I believe that my colleagues have explained this to you clearly over the past few days, so I won't repeat it here.

I really enjoy my job. It brings me happiness to see people who have been burdened with various problems, emotional baggage, hurt, and bitterness become healthy in body, mind, and spirit after spending some time with us. I sincerely hope that you can understand and support me in this work.

I also hope that you can get to know the Jesus I believe in. He is the only true God, the greatest physician, the owner of life, and only through Him can we obtain true life. I have followed Him on this journey of life until now and I have no regrets. In Him, I find satisfaction, healing, renewal, freedom, love, truth, and grace.

Brother, I want to tell you that God has seen all the sacrifices you have made for me and our family. He will surely reward you generously. The difficulties you have experienced are not random, and if God did not allow them to happen, they would not have come upon you. However, since they have happened, there must be God's good intentions, even though our limited minds may not understand or comprehend it yet. God has the ability to help us break free from poverty and curses, but He chooses to work on our character and life first. Only when our life and character are aligned can we receive His blessings. I firmly believe that, through knowing Jesus, our family will receive great blessings and become a channel of blessings for many, many people.