让家里的Reluctant writer动笔
文章来源: 马来人2022-06-27 00:37:30

我家里的小学男娃天生不爱说话。娃得了他爸的基因,父子俩都不爱说话,娃小时候,他爸出国,几个星期不在家,给娃打电话,就问娃,"xxx,how are you. " 娃就说Good, 他爸又问“how's things going " 娃又说good. 然后父子俩再也说不出话来,电话结束。

 

等娃入了小学去测语言能力,说娃语言表达能力弱,有语言表达障碍。一直用学校的therapy, 也没有什么进步。疫情网课的时候,语言therapy 在网上给他上课,跟他一起上课的也是一个语言有问题的孩子。可人家娃非常配合therapy, 有问必答。我家娃就是不怎么开口。老师也很Nice, 一点儿也不push。我在旁边看的很着急。

 

之前学校集体网课,班里的娃们抢着说话,小八哥很多,而他从来不自己主动发言,老师偶尔点名叫他,他的语速很慢,说话声音很轻,说了一两句就再也不肯多说。

 

娃的社交就是和小区里面的同龄男娃打闹,踢球,看卡通,玩电玩,似乎也不说话。我想娃的出路,大概率就是打好数学基础,和娃爸一样,将来去学个工科。

 

等到娃开始写作,Reluctant speaker 变成了reluctant writer. 我在美国说外语,还要推他写作,想一想都头大。

 

写作最难的就是面对一张白纸,想不出写什么,也想不出用什么词语写。对娃来说,这两者皆难。

 

好吧,先降低难度,给娃一个现成小故事,这样娃不需要构思故事情节。让娃练习用自己的话把别人的小故事重新写一遍。

 

让娃把别人的小故事读一遍,用几个短语,摘录五六个故事要点。叫outline, 然后把原文拿走,用outline做提示,用自己的话重新写故事。情节一样,但用的句子必须和原文不同。

 

娃不擅长表达,用不同的句子写同一个意思,不知道怎么动笔。和娃一起从原文中挑出四句长句子,然后highlight几个关键单词,和娃一起,对关键词罗列出一堆同义词,然后用同义词替换原来的词,重新组句。这个过程可以和娃一起翻了同义词词典。

 

通过同义词替换,把原文的四句长句子全部用自己找的同义词重新写了一遍。这样娃有了四句他自己写的话。

 

娃有点信心,可以摆脱原文,继续看着outline, 用自己的话重写成一篇故事。我说这是个游戏,规则是意思不可以变化,但用的词语一定要变化。

 

文科牛娃可以毫不费力,信笔佔来,对reluntant writer 来说,写作需要降低两个难度。折腾了一个多小时,娃也用他自己的话,写成了一篇小故事。原文网上有,这是他用自己的话重新写的:

 

The ant and the chrysalis by Aesop 

Retold by XXX

 

An ant was promptly roaming about in the sunlight, hunting for food.

 

While the summer wind blew gently, the ant stumbled upon a leaf of a hemlock tree, to which a chrysalis was clinging. The chrysalis was very near its time of changing. The chrysalis moved its tail. This movement attracted the attention of the Ant, who realized that the chrysalis was alive. 

 

The ant was an arrogant chap. " Poor pitible animal " exclaimed the ant scornfully ," what a sad fate is yours !" The ant continued to taunt the chrysalis " while I can run every nook and cranny at my pleasure , if I wish I can crawl up this huge hemlock tree , you lie caged in your shell. " The chrysalis heard the ant's mocking laughter but said nothing. 

 

A few days later, the ant chanced to come across the same hemlock tree. He looked upon the shell and to his astonishment there was nothing remained except an empty shell. He found himself all at once covered and fanned by the magnificent wings of a beautiful butterfly.

 

" Behold in me" said the butterfly , " you much-pitted friend, boast of your abilities to run and climb as long as you can get me listen to you. ”the butterfly ascended in the air, and borne along and floated on the summer breeze until she vanished in the misty air far from the ant's vision. 

 

全是娃自己写的,我给娃改了几个拼写错误,下一步拿去给native speaker 看。请他们指出写的别扭的句子,继续改那些别扭的句子。

 

娃是Reluctant writer, 但无论如何一定要他动笔,最好天天动笔。

 

家里的妹妹也写了同一个故事,她用了不同的句子,讲得是同样的故事。让家里不同的娃一起写同一个故事,对不爱动笔的娃也是一种促进,孩子都是人来疯,爱看样。看到比他小的孩子也在写同样的故事,大娃开始不服气了。他嚷嚷说,我比妹妹写的好。

 

看看妹妹写的故事。

An ant briskly strayed in the sunshine, looking for food. 


The ant was slowly walking through the woods and saw a chrysalis in her shell. The chrysalis was about to change. She can hardly move her tail . The ant was curious about this little creature that was alive . 

 

"Poor pitiable animal ” the ant giggled “ what a miserable fate is yours. I can run from place to place in a field , if I wish I am free to mount the highest tree while you are trapped in this shell, only can wiggle your tail.


The chrysalis heard but did not answer . 

 

A few days later, the ant came back. He gazed upon the tree where the chrysalis lived. To his surprise, the chrysalis had disappeared. While he was stairing at the empty shell, he noticed himself swiftly shadowed and blown by the fancy wings of a beautiful butterfly. 

 

“you much pitted friend Boast  of your powers to run and climb as long as you get me to listen to you”. And then the butterfly rose quickly in the air and winged over the summer breeze. In a twinkling she flew into the wonderful sky which the ant was never able to imagine.