5/18

 

几个星期前鼓就已经敲响，要大家准备回公司上班。管理层已经开始做出榜样，让人感觉回公司上班是上进，留在家里上班是落后。于我，落后就落后吧，能拖一星期是一星期，就这样，原本上星期就该回去上班的，让我一句免疫抗体要在疫苗两星期后产生的理由，给全小组的员工多拖了一星期。

 

为了回去上班，周日把头发染了，在家上班一年多没染，一侧白头发特别明显。染好后，某人看了一眼恭维说，一下子年轻得像十八九岁的姑娘。而我却觉得这乌黑乌黑的一侧头发黑的有点突兀，倒更习惯原来的自然白，那才是真正的我。

 

周一晚上在家开始准备第二天上班要带的东西--带上一条护肩大围巾，空调房备用; 带上自己喝水的杯子和一大玻璃壶，省得一次次去厨房灌水; 戴上耳机，每天的例会可以用，还可以听音乐; 带上一副老花镜just in case, 还有药、维他命、 一小盒黑色巧克力，一袋姜糖，晚上又在手机里下载了两首自己喜欢的新歌(对了，忘了带护手霜了)。本来还想给自己再缝一个全棉的口罩，全棉贴着嘴舒服多了，可后来有点懒得动，好在暂时不需要天天回去上班，口罩洗了隔天干了可以继续用。

 

今日起床后又从冰箱里拿出了一盒酸奶，一个西红柿，半个洋葱，两个牛油果，几个新鲜的杏子准备当午餐。还顺便带上了不锈钢的勺子和叉子，为减少塑料垃圾做贡献 。就这样拎着两大包东西匆匆上了车。

 

虽然公司离家近，但是不比在家上班，可以穿着睡衣，先log in, 再悠哉悠哉地梳洗、吃早饭，有时还可以先看一眼后院的花花草草再回到电脑桌前。虽说是戴着口罩上班，不需要露脸，公司为鼓励员工回来上班，这阶段甚至不要求大家着正装，但是基本的整洁干净还是必须的。所以早上的事情自然多了些。

 

九点不到到公司，坐下来log in后，第一件事情是去厨房倒水，顺便看一眼小老板来了没有。小老板没来，她一般来得晚。回到座位上，掏出手机想看一眼文学城和股票，却发现手机反应非常慢--它不会是习惯了自由自在的WIFI环境，一下子要回到mobile data找不到北了吧? 看着半天出不来页面的手机，突然觉得自己和它一样是个仰人鼻息的小媳妇。

 

戴一天口罩上班的滋味不好受，当我中午走出大楼，迫不及待地扯下口罩那一刻，闻到的新修路面散发的沥青味都觉得是香的，也因此更加体会了一线医务人员的不易。

 

不得不承认，回公司上班的效率是要高一些，心无旁骛，安静专心。但是喝一口水吃一点东西得先拉下口罩的感觉真不好，口罩戴久了一度感觉脑瓜子也好像缺氧，蒙着一层东西，反应有点木讷、迟钝。公司HR已经在昨天发布了CDC的最新指示，打完疫苗的可以不戴口罩，而今天我也确确实实见到了不戴口罩的员工。但是我不愿意自己现在就去冒这个险，虽然在这样封闭的空调环境，我的口罩(戴两个口罩)对病毒能起到多大作用还是个问题，更何况一天坐在那里总得拉下口罩喝水，但是我依然选择相信口罩能多少帮助自己减少接触面。

 

中午的饭是在车里吃的，五月的天气不冷不热，吃完了打开一点车窗还闭目养神了一会，然后戴上口罩重回大楼。

 

记得自己以前写过，员工就像下蛋的鸡，现在没人再喊"狼来了"，主人就觉得圈养更好，这样每天可以拼命喂它鸡食，让鸡专心下蛋，下好蛋，多下蛋，哪怕鸡说，你放我出去，我保证一天一个蛋生在你指定的地方，主人还是不放心，宁愿花钱重建鸡窝，守着下蛋的鸡在他眼皮底下。而鸡呢，为了这口吃的，也顾不上幸福与否，顾不上什么"鸡"权还是发言权，乖乖地回到了从前的鸡笼里。

 

 

 

The first day back to office started with a hectic morning. Woken up by the 8 am alarm, as I stayed late till the wee hour the night before, I got up, a bit lethargic, and went down to the kitchen . Putting a small pot of oatmeal over the stove, I hurried back upstairs to wash myself, knowing that the oatmeal could overflow in any minute. Downstairs again, I began packing what I was about to bring to the office-- a water cup, a water pitcher, a cell phone charger, an earphone, a magazine, some snacks, my lunch box packed with a stainless- steel spoon and fork…

The office is only ten minutes local drive away, and by the time I got to the office, it was almost 9. The parking lot was additionally parked with a few trucks with workers trimming the trees. The road surface looks repaved, permeating the air with the lingering asphalt. Entering the building with two masks on, I saw a new welcome-back poster next to a sanitary station.

Like a chicken set free on a wild range happily roaming and laying eggs, then being called back by the owner to the chicken coop, I succumb to going back to the office after a year-long working from home. My cell phone, so used to Wi-fi, was confusedly lost for the first few minutes, scrambling for mobile signals laboriously.  While pandemic limits our freedom, it did give me an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to stay at home and work. Though coming back to work at office is still partial, Tuesday and Thursday for now, I know the good time is over.

I miss the lazy morning and its leisureness without rushing to change or dress up. I miss the nap in the comfy bed. I miss the twenty minutes ping-pong time, playing, cheering and sweating. I miss my garden as I walk and tend to the plants, moving the pot from one side to the other for the best sun. I even miss the lizards who find our backyard home, boldly basking themselves almost every day around the same time in the same open spot…

 

 

 

People say that pandemic is disruptive in speeding up the digitalization and changing people’s behavior and mindset. Now with the vaccines fully rolled out, it is widely expected that things will soon go back to normal, or be forced to be so. But will it be that easy? How far can we go back?

Admittedly my day in office is more productive. But working with masks on for about eight hours suffocated me. For a time, my brain worked slower, as if also veiled by masks. Luckily I can work from home tomorrow alternatively, a new hybrid working mode, which won’t last for long before we are asked to return to the office completely.