COVID-19 PANIC: Hallucinated Tele-Questions to POTUS Trump

by Limin Wang

April 24, 2020

Me: Mr. President, I just learned that you peddled your novel treatments to COVID-19 yesterday. May you elaborate a bit more?

Trump: Wait a second, who you are with?

Me: I am from People’s Voice, a small business, a non-profit, a small non-profit sole-property business.

Trump: It’s sarcasm!

Me: Many people have already known that. Might you please tell anything else beyond the whole truth?

Trump: You seem not nasty. OK, ready? Here we go, what else do you want to know?

Me: What do you REALLY mean to peddle strong light or sunlight to the outside and even the inside of the body?

Trump: You know the word “enlighten”?

Me: Yeah.

Trump: Smart enough. “Light” is in the center of the “enlighten”, get it?

Me: No.

Trump: It’s too dark to the outside and inside of people. Next question.

Me: Hello, hello, Mr. President, here, here again. I have the next question. What do you REALLY mean to suggest injection of disinfectant to treat COVID-19?

Trump: That’s not a fake question. I will take that. You have seen the slide from the high-tech fancy lab, right? Disinfectants are so efficacious to the, wait a second, Mike ……S, A, R, S, dash, C, o, V, dash, 2, right? What is in the usual disinfectant? Alcohol and water! I learned it since my grandparents moved out of Germany! And what’s a synonym of “injection”?

Me: I don’t know.

Trump: You stupid. “Shot”! I often hear people around me asking, “Can I have one more shot?” I have guessed out, that’s how all of them stay HEALTHY during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Me: Makes common sense. But aren’t you rude?

Trump: RUDE? That’s a compliment from the Fake News. They first say it’s because of Russia that I have won the White House. Then they say I am a Despot! Combine today, that’s WHY I am RUDE, Mr. RUDE! But why you are also calling me RUDE?

Me: I guess I get infected by the Fake News.

Trump: For that, you have to get better immunity yourself.

Me: Oh, Ok, MAGA, Make American Great Again.

Trump: Thank you, you’re a little smarter.