I don’t get it. Why do women continue to choose to date narcissists, leaving the genuinely nice guys at home folding their laundry?
Narcissists are cocky, self-centered, self-absorbed, and egotistical.
They are convinced that they are really better-looking --- that’s why they spend so much time in front of the mirror – after all, self-admiration takes time. In fact, if you aredating a guy who spends a lot of time in front of the mirror, take a closer look --- he may be a narcissist.
They believe that they are more intelligent, more talented, and more successful than others. If you tell him about your success --- in school, at work, in athletics --- I hope you don’t expect him to take a sincere interest in your accomplishments. Rather, your success will be perceived as a threat to his superior view of himself. And it is only a matter of time before you will have to be put in your place --- which is beneath him.
They really do believe that they are unique and special, and therefore it is only reasonable that they would feel that they are entitled --- entitled to special admiration, special treatment, special privileges, special attention. That’s where you come in. You are there to affirm their specialness. First, by performing as their trophy date. Secondly, by continually responding to them in ways that communicate just how special they really are. Thirdly, by giving in repeatedly to their expectations of you --- after all, they are entitled – even to you.
Bottom line: you don’t count – except for what you can bring to support and bolster his inflated ego. Essentially, narcissists believe that they are God’s gift to humanity. And your job, as their dating partner, is to affirm that.
As we have seen, at the heart of successful love are things like intimacy, closeness, caring, support, a give-and-take friendship, warmth, fondness. These are necessary ingredients for WE-NESS [Commitment Is Essential To Love, But What Is Commitment?].
But these are things of which narcissists are not capable.
So I sincerely don’t get it. Why do women continue to date narcissists?
I can understand slipping up once. After all, narcissists often exude a certain charm and an outgoing confidence. But why do some women continue to go back? Why do some women continue to date narcissistic men, even after they’ve been burned?
I can understand touching a hot stove --- once --- but most people are capable of one-trial learning. After getting burned by a narcissistic man, why do so many women go back for more?
I just don’t get it!
So can someone help me here? Can someone connect some dots for me? What’s going on? Why do women continue to date narcissists?
And then why do the nice guys get passed over repeatedly?
And please don’t tell me that nice guys are “well, too nice --- you know, too caring, too honest, too trustworthy, too faithful, too unselfish.”
