1 模仿

A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and eat your tea,” said his mother.  "Your stomach’s hurting because it’s empty. It'll be all right when you’ve got something in it.”

Shortly afterwards Dad came in from the office, complaining of a headache.

"That’s because it's empty,” said his bright son. “You’d be all right if you had something in it.”

一个男孩放学回家时觉得肚子痛。“来，坐下，吃点点心，”妈妈说，“你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。吃点东西就会好的。”

一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，说是头痛。

“你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的，”他那聪明的儿子说，“里面装点东西，就会好的。”

2 自然分娩

A lady didn’t quite make if to hospital for the birth of her child; in fact, the baby was born on the lawn just outside the main entrance. The poor woman was dreadfully embarrassed and was being consoled by one of the nurses, who said; "Don’t worry about it. It could have been worse, when two years ago we had a woman who gave birth in the, elevator.” The woman cried," That was me!” and burst into tears.

一个孕妇还没有来得及到医院就生下了她的孩子。实际上，婴儿是在医院大门外的草坪上出生的。这个可怜的女人因此而感到非常的尴尬。一个护士安慰她说:“不要担心，有的人还不如你呢。两年前有个女人是在电梯里生下的孩子。” 那个女人泪如泉涌地哭着说:“那就是我!”

3 熊和兔子

A bear is chasing a bunny when all of a sudden a djinn appears and grants them each three wishes. The bear, being very selfish, wishes that all the bears in his forest were female and instantly it is done. Then the bunny wishes he had a lifetime supply of carrots in his backyard. For his next turn, the bear wishes that all the other bears in his entire nation were female. The bunny wishes for a motorcycle. Finally on the last wish, the bear wishes that all the other bears on the whole earth were female. The bunny wishes that the bear was gay and rides home on his motorcycle.

当一只熊追着一只兔子时突然一巨灵出现，并可实现它们每人三个愿望。熊非常自私，希望在他的森林中的所有其他的熊都为雌性，瞬间愿望实现了。然后兔子希望在他的后院有他过一辈子需要的胡萝卜。下一个回合时，熊希望在他的整个国家的所有其他熊都为雌性。兔子希望有一辆摩托车。最后的愿望，熊希望整个地球上的所有其他熊为雌性。兔子希望熊是同性恋，然后骑着摩托车回家了。

4 火鸡干了什么

A man goes to a pet shop and buys a talking parrot. He takes the parrot home and tries to teach the parrot how to say a few things, but instead, the parrot just swears at him. After a few hours of trying to teach the bird, the man finally says, "If you don't stop swearing, I'm going to put you in the freezer as punishment." The parrot continues, so finally the man puts the bird in the freezer. About an hour later, the parrot asks the man to please open the door. As the man takes the shivering bird out of the freezer, it says, "I promise to never swear again. Just tell me what that turkey did!"

一男子进入一家宠物店买了会说话的鹦鹉。他把鹦鹉带回家，并试图教鹦鹉说几件事情，但是，鹦鹉对他说脏话。几个小时的尝试教鸟后，该男子终于说，“如果你不停止说脏话，我将把你放在冰箱里作为惩罚。”鹦鹉继续说脏话，所以最后这个人把鸟放在冰箱里。约一小时后，这只鹦鹉请人开了门。当该男子把在冰箱中直哆嗦鸟拿出来时，它说，“我保证永远不说脏话了，告诉我火鸡做了什么！”

5 蚊子宝宝

It was a baby mosquito's first day to fly out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, "How was your journey?" The baby mosquito replied, "It went great. Everyone was clapping for me!"

这是蚊子宝宝从家里飞了出来的第一天。当天晚些时候蚊子回到家时，蚊子父亲问道，“你的旅程怎么样？” 蚊子宝宝回答说：“太棒了。每个人都在为我鼓掌！”

6 猫和狗的不同

What is the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs think, "Humans are benevolent, they feed me and take care of me, so they must be Gods. Cats think, "Humans are benevolent, they feed me and take care of me, so I must be God."

一只猫和一只狗之间的区别是什么？狗认为，“人类是善意的，他们养活我，照顾我，所以他们一定是上帝。”猫认为，“人类是善意的，他们养活我，照顾我，所以我一定是上帝。”