一封电子邮件
文章来源: womaninhome2016-04-25 22:54:23

婆婆有两个孩子,一个是我先生,一个是他在日本的姐姐。婆婆中风后,日本姐姐的先生不巧也患有癌症,所以她无法分身来美国照顾我婆婆。先生的另外两个姐姐住在美国,但是,先生和日本姐姐是婆婆领养的孩子,所以,另外两个姐姐血缘上是先生的姐姐,但是他们并没有从小一起长大。所以先生和日本姐姐是最亲近的。

 

昨天,日本的姐姐写了一封邮件了,她真心的感谢我们对婆婆的照顾,她写到,由于我们的细心照顾,妈妈恢复得很快,其实这和婆婆自己的努力分不开,姐姐在邮件的最后,对过去姐姐们对我的苛刻与不公平道歉,她说,随着年龄的增长,她意识到以前对我的一些评价是不公正的。

姐姐的邮件的原件是这样的

:As for mom, I'm glad that she can speak Cantonese, in which I'll use the next time I talk to her, probably next week. Good that the care taker works out well.

One thing I want to say is that you and my brother have done a fantastic job in taking care of mom. She couldn't have done better with anyone else! I'm sure mom realizes now how wonderful you are as her daughter-in-law. My apology for my sisters for their nastiness and unjustifiable mistreatment. Aging has made me see things quite clearly over the years....

You're very good-natured, I wish there would be more people like you two! I'm positive that my two sisters are trying to atone their errors in the past in their own ways for the last few years. To me, you're a full-fledged family member. As an old saying goes, "a better person cannot be harmed by a lesser person". In the long run, it's the lesser person that faces internal conflicts and public justice.

Big hugs,

sis

她说的就是在十多年前,老三被医院诊断出有自闭症之后,婆婆和先生的姐姐们觉得自闭症与我有关,我听先生说,因为我生了一个自闭症的儿子,她们开了一个家庭斗争大会,她们(婆婆,一个日本姐姐,两个美国姐姐)说一切都怪我,说我不好才生了一个自闭的孩子。先生和她们大吵一番,婆婆说不要认我这个媳妇了,以后对我只是客客气气的,不会再把我当儿媳看待,先生告诉我这些话以后,我受到很大的伤害,哭了很久,每当一想这些事情就生气,生孩子不是我一个人的事情,为什么偏偏要责怪我呢? 每每想想都心寒。

由于时间的流逝,婆婆已经逐渐转弯,觉得我照顾一个自闭的儿子很辛苦,开始体谅我,我也开始原谅婆婆的无知,我知道,对于自闭症,社会上很多人存在恐惧和不理解,尤其是自己的孙子得了,婆婆觉得没有面子,自然责怪儿媳,但是,由于时间和知识的普及,婆婆已经对过去的作为有了悔意,近几年对我一直不错。我父亲说过,亲人不要记仇,要多看优点和长处。婆婆在我生老二的时候,来帮助我十多天,让我安心地去医院生老二,她为我们做饭,看老大。生老三的时候,她又来到我家,帮助我看老大和老二,又有十几天。这些恩情,我永远都记得。

我已经原谅她们了

我回信中说:

Let bygone be bygone, dont worry about anything in the past. I dont hold any grudge. I dont even remember any of them.