偶尔发现了儿子有这么一篇写大学一年头一学期的文章 -- 很有漫画的风格，看了忍俊不住。
想想送走了生龙活虎，踌躇满志的孩子进了大学校府，你以为他 / 她们的生活和学习就是电话里汇报的那样吗？文中反应的肯定是学生中有代表性的现象，当然孩子不完全是画里这个“德行”，小声的说：儿子其实是名列 Dean's list 前茅的。老以为儿子不哼不哈的变成了nod ，这一看，幽默感还是没丢掉：
前言：
A paper I wrote for one of my writing seminars that experiements with the literary style known as "stream of consciousness." The topic explores the typical life of an Engineering student through the experience I gained after spending a year in college. Focuses more on the average student than the "model students" and "geniuses."
College of Engineering Survival Guide
First day of school. Grab the Physics book you just spent all your money on. Get ready for class. You are prepared; you know where your classroom is; you looked up the professor on www.ratemyprofessor.com; you skimmed eight hundred pages of the text; you are prepared. Tell yourself you will succeed, you will receive an “A,” you will become the professor’s favorite student, the student who breaks the “curve” on every test. You are ready. Always walk into a lecture hall with your right foot, it will bring you good luck. Sit in the front row so after a few days the professor will begin to notice you. Look around at all the other students, try to pick out a few smart-looking ones to team up with for your final project. Class begins, the professor has a heavy accent, you hear students whispering to each other saying they can’t understand a thing. Now you know coming to lecture is pointless, no one knows what is going on, and the PowerPoint presentation, accompanied with dimmed lighting, just puts you to sleep.
The class is over. Go back to your dorm, have some coffee, take a nap, you will need it later when reading the text book. Go to every lecture even if you think you will not learn much from them, just in case the professor gives a surprise quiz. You can laugh at the students who skipped lecture on that day, this is how you will succeed this semester, you are prepared.
After the first week, you receive your first homework assignment. Complain about the amount of questions assigned, and then realize the homework problems are much harder than you expected. Forget about the homework, you have to go to a party later tonight. The next day you have to finish that research paper, and after that there is Calculus. Go and find some smart people so you can work on the homework together, then copy all the answers from them; but isn’t that plagiarizing?; no, it’s called “team work.”
A few weeks later, two-third of your class will stop coming to lecture. The student who come will be asleep, including you, this is how you make it through the lectures. Day dream, and think to yourself why college makes you learn something you will never use again.
The next day is the mid-term exam. Read the textbook one more time, then look over the notes you photocopied from that girl. You have done everything you could to prepare for it. During the test, none of the formulas you memorized seem to work. You hope the other students are as clueless as you. The average on the mid-term is forty-three. You are three points below average. You go see the professor during his office hour to get a few points back.
It’s time for the final project, leave all the work to that smart student you teamed up with, tell that person you are too busy studying for finals. Go read your textbook, and look over your notes. Store some of the important formulas into your graphing calculator. Write a few key equations on the inside of your hand so no one will notice them, and on your eraser as well; but isn’t that cheating?; no, it’s called “using your resources.” Now you are prepared, you are going to succeed.
The final exam is hard. Sit in the back so you can peak at the person in front of you. The average of the finals is sixty-seven, you are ten points below average, but your partner did a good job on your final project. In the end you received a “B-.” It’s not what you wanted, but you don’t care anymore, it’s over, you will never use these knowledge again. Now start preparing for the next semester.
(End)
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