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CARDS YOU WILL NEVER SEE IN HALLMARK:
1. "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife."
2. "How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?"
3. "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me."
4. "Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, I would like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."
5. "Someday I hope to get married, but not to you."
6. "Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...Almost Lifelike!"
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