watercolor

Final, or Not Final?

This is my first painting class.

I was a little bit intimidated when grabbing the brush the first time - - - how truly could I render what I see?  However, once starting the first stroke, I stopped asking something like that. Once in it, the only way out is to finish that. But when a painting is finished is another question that “bothers” me. Every time when I look at a so-called finished painting, new ideas come to me.  Satisfaction is always something far away from me. But the more I paint, the clearer I know what I “want” in Art, or the closer to something I can not name. So, simply growing.

I am impatient with details; but the student who spent the whole semester on Rembrandt impressed me that Painting is Patience: Meditative. Art is contemplation, as Rodin puts. Yes, in an Age of Digitalization, “art works” can be created in a way that fast-food is mass-produced.  No, that is not what I want. I want the Traces and Marks that my hands leave, the waves that my heart echoes, the joy of Birth, as well as the humbleness in those materials. But, these “Wants” are not final either, they are fleeting away.

Dan is such an encouraging and inspiring teacher that he has helped me recognize what I have: expressiveness - - - hopefully this word expresses what he means.  He gives us the freedom for our artistic imagination. Then, how far the imagination can go is a matter of our own mind - - - How truly free am I? How conscious am I? How deep can I see?  Thinking, needless to say, opens the gate to the unknown.

It seems that nothing is final, but the paper is due today: December 11, 20**.