Yesterday, there are two oranges on the table, one taste okay, and the other one tastes better. My bf was sitting next to me. Which one I am going to eat? I handed him the better one. If it was two years ago, I wouldn’t felt so complicated. I would give him the better one without thinking… (I felt I suppose to and I really wanted to). But yesterday, at that moment, I didn’t want to and I didn’t feel I suppose to,(我不是很情愿) but I did it anyway…I believe that’s what he expected me to do.

I just listed one thing, a lot of things happened like that right now, I did it against my will; at least I wasn’t happy doing that. My question is how long I have to keep doing that? all right, I got to stop here, I am upset now…