Things My Mother Taught Me
Author: Kris Hale

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.
-----Abigail Van Buren

My mother was forty-seven years old when she was diagnosed with muscular sclerosis (MS). That diagnosis changed our lives forever. I am the youngest of seven children, and as the "baby girl," my responsibilities were far and few between. As my mother faced her mortality, she began to reflect on her children's lives and wondered if we would be prepared for the world once she was gone.

With this diagnosis, my mother became driven to prepare me for the world and make sure that I had all the tools I would need to thrive. She wanted me to be independent. My family knew very little about her life expectancy, or how her body would respond to the disease. As the youngest, I had always spent the most time with my mom. I soon became her "helper." I went with her to the bank, doctors' appointments and grocery store. I helped her do the laundry and various other chores and errands. My life lessons had begun.

By the time I was ten years old, I was well known at the bank and could balance a checkbook without help. I was eventually able to monitor and manage my own savings account. Each month we paid the bills together, and when she could no longer write, I filled out all the checks, addressed the envelopes, purchased stamps and mailed off the rent along with all the other bills.

My mom was an amazing cook. Thanksgiving was always a huge feast at our house. With a large family, my mom always wanted to make sure that she had enough food for everyone to eat and enough leftovers to seemingly last us a lifetime.

Two days before Thanksgiving, my mom bought all the groceries that she would need to make dinner. The night before, she stuffed the turkey and put it in the oven to cook.

The next morning, I found her very upset and crying because she was not feeling well. She did not think she was going to be able to finish Thanksgiving dinner. For the best cook in town and the mother of seven children, this was more than she could bear. I told her I would cook; all she had to do was tell me what to do. I started cooking at seven in the morning and cooked all day. She sat at the kitchen table instructing me at every step. That was the first time that I cooked a full-course meal for my entire family.

My mother was the single greatest influence in my life. Through every challenge she faced, she led our family with grace and awe-inspiring strength. She made sure that we would be self-sufficient and capable. Ten years after her passing, I still miss her very much.

With the blessing of hindsight, I realize how scared my mother must have been, having a young daughter and not knowing how long she would have to teach her all she would need to know. Even though I had different responsibilities than many of my friends, I understood why. My mother did her very best to make sure that I would have the tools I needed to be a responsible, independent and capable adult. And for that, I am grateful.

Rebecca Lin 2010 Winter In USA