Two Greatest Fears in Olivia\'s Life

-by guest writer: Daddy

Every night after reading a book, I turn on some night-time music, turn off the light and tuck Olivia and Evan into bed.  And every night sitting the dark Olivia has a story to tell about her day before she closes her eyes to sleep. 

It can be an important story or a silly one.  Some days it’s a joke she heard, a discussion she had with her teacher, something she learned in class, or a game she played with her friends.  Although she's usually never at a loss for words, Olivia has admitted that at times she's struggled to come up with a worthy tale for me, but she always comes through. 

[Evan on the other hand, has only volunteered to tell a story three times.  Twice it was to say "I'm tired", right before he promptly zonked out on the bed.  The third time it was to inform me that "I REALLY want to go see Cars" (The Movie)] 

Last night Olivia and I had one of the most serious discussions to date. She revealed her two greatest fears in life. 

The first concerned her wedding day.  I don't think she was necessarily worried about getting married, as much as the burning question of "WHAT are you supposed to do at the wedding?” a question she repeated at least five times.  "I just don't know what you're supposed to do," she admitted. 

I tried to reassure her that the wedding is just a party and she should have fun.  We discussed in detail Mommy and Daddy's wedding video, which she had seen a few times, talking about the ceremony and all that comes with it, followed by the reception.  She brought up the Garter and seemed genuinely concerned that she would forget whether the girl throws the flowers or the garter.  After mentioning that the Bride and Groom receive presents and maybe even a goody-bag, she seemed to think that was pretty good and moved on to the next discussion. 

Her more burning fear concerned the whole issue of giving birth to a baby.  "I'm afraid of having a baby someday.  I don't want them to cut my belly open."  I tried to reassure her, saying that Mommy had two babies and the doctors didn't cut her.  "I don't want to have a baby," she admitted.  "Are you sure Olivia?  A lot of little girls like the idea of having a baby to take care of.  Like baby dolls." 

"I USED to like baby dolls but not anymore.  Anyway, they're not real. I DON'T want to have a baby when I grow up," she replied. 

"Well, Olivia, you know you don't HAVE to have a baby if you don't want to.  There are a lot of people who never have a baby." 

This piqued her interest, as I think Olivia was under the impression that someday she'd wake up and have a baby growing inside her body which she had no say over.  "So how do you NOT have a baby?" She really wanted to know.   Oh boy, I didn't like the direction of this conversation.  "Well, you just choose to not have a baby."  Undeterred, she replied, "But what do you DO to have a baby or not have a baby?" 

"Uuuuh, well you can just decide between yourself and your husband that you don't want to have a baby and then there are things you do to not have a baby." 

"Well what if my husband wants a baby and I don't want one?" she asked. 

"You'll just have to work it out among yourselves.  You'll have to agree whether you want one or not," I replied, relieved she moved on to a new line of questioning. 

"What if we don't agree?" she persisted. 

"Olivia, well really it comes down to your decision. If you don't want to have a baby, you don't have to, since it's you who's the one having the baby." 

She seemed satisfied with that, but she wasn't done with the conversation.  We then moved on to the whole issue of kissing, but that's another story for another day.