总住院日记 Chief’s Diary （一）

七月一日正式上岗上班前意淫产物，犹豫再三，还是忍不住决定贴出来。纯属虚构，严禁胡猜乱测。（试试日记体，砸砖轻点儿） 

6/2/09 Somebody got to make the decision. （总住院是要做决定的） 

I found myself more popular since I was announced chief resident. Some attendings would stop and chat with me for a few minutes when they saw me, not just a nod or “How are you doing?” as they did before. It turned out that they had been chief residents before, and they want to share some experience with me. Dr. W told me: “You can not make every body happy. Some residents will like you; some will hate you, especially when you are making the call schedule. But somebody got to do it, somebody got to make the decision, and they knew it. Just do whatever you think is right, and they will respect you as a chief resident.” Sounds like common sense, but still, it is nice to hear it from my attending who was chief resident not too long ago. “Thank you for your tips!” was my answer.

刚当上总住院时，感觉一下成了热门人物。有些主治医生平时见到我只是点一下头说声“你好”，现在如果不太忙的话就要跟我聊几分钟。一聊才知道，原来他们以前也当过总住院，想给我传授一些经验。闻医生对我说，“你不可能让每个人都高兴。有些住院医会喜欢你，有些会恨你，特别是如果你是排班的总住院的话。你要知道，总有人需要来做决定，这些住院医们知道这一点。” 

6/3/09 Pick your slap （今天我挨谁的嘴巴子好涅） 

我约的病人又没来，阿主治从我门口路过，看到我一个人在诊室里就踱进来，“祝贺你，总住院！”我说，“看起来好象你有什么要教我的。你以前也做过总住院吧？”老阿果然拉开了话匣子，“做过！做总住院基本就是两头受气，特别是管排班的那个总住院。不论你怎么排，总有人不高兴。”老阿继续发挥，“You know you are going to do things that make the residents hate you. The attendings will make you do things that the residents don’t like. You are in the middle. You don’t want to do it to make the residents slap you, but you have to do it. The attendings will slap you if you don’t do it. You wake up every morning and think yourself, ‘which slap I feel like to pick today—from above or from below.”（很多时候，主治医生们要通过你实施他们的政策，而这些政策有很多都不受住院医们欢迎。如果你按照主治医们的意见去做，住院医会恨你。如果你不按照主治医们的意见去做，主治医们会生气。你每天早晨起来后，自己感觉体会一下，今天想挨谁的嘴巴子，住院医的还是主治医的？）” “That’s great. I got a choice. I can pick my slap!” 。（很不错啊，我可以选择挨谁的嘴巴子！）我故作兴奋状。心里想：“Sounds like one really need some sense of humor to become a chief resident.”看起来做总住院没有一点幽默感还真不行。 

（欲知文中“我”的原型背景，请看后续日记，切勿提前盲目乱猜）