身体里的子弹 余秀华 英文翻译

身体里的子弹

 

余秀华

 

我的身体里有一颗子弹，对准我的绝望

被命运通缉了40年的危险份子，她不去异乡

她不隐姓埋名

只有我的拳头一次次在春天落空，撕不开夜色

我身体里的子弹，也对准我的欲望

我不敢要你的回报。我和每一个遇见的人拥抱

也拥抱每一朵花：这天生的仇敌

这掩饰了身份的流民，这想放火烧天下的女人

我对你说的话从来不完整

下一句我说给一百个人听，他们如果当真

就要承担我的罪行

在我的许多梦里，你从一具白骨开始走向人世

你的名字是我取的，可是我不敢喊你

我不敢喊你

我喊着许多名字，不管它们

是否安慰我的心

 

A bullet inside my body

 

Xiuhua Yu

 

I have a bullet inside my body, it aims at my despair

A dangerous participant who’s been listed as wanted by fate for forty years

She doesn’t leave for strange land   

She doesn’t live incognito

I just brandish my fists in vain in spring time and again

Can’t tear the night

The bullet inside my body

Also aims at my desire

I dare not request your reciprocation. I embrace everyone I meet

Also embrace every flower: my natural foe

This vagabond disguises his identity

This woman wants to burn up the world

My sentences to you are never complete

I want my next sentence to be heard by one hundred people

If they believe my words

They should assume my sins

In many of my dreams

You begin your journey to the live world from a skeleton of the dead

Your name is given by me

But I never dare to cry out your name

I never dare to cry out your name

I cry out many other names

Don’t care whether

They console my heart