分手了， 我能做什么？

100% 快乐的生活是在爱和梦想中不断成长

I am sorry it is not easy for me to type things in Chinese due to my keyboard, so I have to write down my blog in English.

"How are you?" One of my old friends texted me.
"I am fine, you?" I repied.
"Not too good, would you have several minutes to talk with me ? :("
"I want to talk with you by video? Is it convenient for you? :("
He sent me two messages one after one.

I felt sad for him , stopped my reading,  and called him back by QQ.

He is a my undergraduate friend, as friends, we are a little bit close to each other.

He told me he broke up with his girlfriend, he felt very depress. And he told me the reasons why his relation failed is eactly the same as the reason why  the last relation failed. I kept listening until he asked me what shall he do.

How come? Why he failed as the same reason?  These quesitons were kept in my mind.

So he broke up with his girl, what shall I do?  Maybe I shared my story with him. 

After listening my story, He suddenly realized he learned a lot from what I said to him.

So what is my story?

I try to remember my relaitons, Yes, my first relaiton is dead as the most of people's. (First love story was posted in my blog )
The second one is great so far, but the second relation was ever in danger, at first, I always argued with my boyfriend in my office, and everybody knew my angryment and my yelling.

One man saw everything I did, he felt pity for me because if I keep doing these on, I will lose my relation. He toled me he was a great boy and then told me something important in peace, after that talking, I totally changed. How such wise he is!

It is the wise man that help me to save my relation. Now I want to share with you about his gold advices that saved my relation.

Number 1, No expect or less expect from your your partner .

At first, I had my own expect from him, but he did not satisfy what I wanted,so I compained and yelled at him a lot, 
the wise man told me:" If you keep doing that in this way, you will lose your man finally."
I got shock: I will lose him
"He is really great boy, I do not hope you will lose him because of you." He looked at me and said.
"what shall I should do?" I asked him for suggetions
"No expect or low expect" He answered me immedietly .
"No expect???!!!" I was angry and yelled out.
The wise man nodded his head, then looking at me without any words.
Finally, I am calm, and try to accept his suggestion.

Yes, I should try to stop expecting from him and I should not complain or blame him if he does not satisfy what I expect from him. My first relation died because I always complained too much and yelling a lot when I could not get enough what I expect from him.
No body owes me anything!

 It is my business if I love him, he does not owe me anything.

Number 2, No yelling, No complaining and No blaming. More appreciation

In common life, sometimes I am not happy about what he did or the way he did in. I will yell, complain and blame. I never think I am a bad temper girl, I always treat friends, family memebers very well, I change the opinion after I real start my relations. 
Suddenly, I realize I am a so terrible girl in my inner world.
I remember that I often yelled at my ex for three hours just because of tiny little things which made me unhappy...Finally, he left me....

In second relaiton.....I did almost the same thing in our relation...I did not change until the wise man told me how terrible yelling, complaining, blaming are.
I am still a little child in my inner world until I decide to grow up and to control my emotional in good ways.

Instead of yelling, compaining and blaming, I start to appreciate everything my man did for me or us.

It is  really amazing, like a magic,  our love is growing ,growing and growing...

Number 3, Let your partner be himself or herself

Different people do things in different ways. I should respect their ways, especially my partner, because we love each other, care each other.
why I should care too much about in which way he does things. Just let him be himself. Understand him, surpport him, and love him.

I remember our first trip to Wathington D.C. The way we visit the national mall is totally different. For him, Interesting is number one while for me the effectiveness of time is number one, so the best route of our trip is particle style leading by interstingFor me, his route is very low efficient, no regular at all. How we can vist one museum in east, then one in west, then one in north, then another one in east again, so waste time!!! 

I was really very upset for the low efficient trip. However, the wise man only told me one sentence to make me totally change my mind.
He asked me "when you walk from east to west, who is with you?  as long as the lover is with us, which route we use really doesnot matter."

I agree , yes, I agree that and I am not upset anymore from that moment on.

Number 4, Be passion and sexy in bed

One day, my husband was plan to come to China to visit me, The wise man told me the best gift you gave him is great sex in bed.  After hearing that, my face  turned reddish in seconds.  What?!  Sex?!  How you can tell me about that. Sex is a very embarrast thing to talk in China.

After our talking,  I recall his suggestion, really ?  Great sex?  nobody even teachs me basic sex knowledges, what shall I do?
I try to learn them by internet. Again, like a magical thing,  I more and more enjoy making love with my man by time goes by, my man is very happy and we love each other more and more deeply and strongly. 

Yes, enjoy making love with sexy passion and full heart

I am so lucky I am growing in relation. And I am really thinkful to the wise old man, my American advisor,  a real wise man.

In three past years, I did grow very fast in relaitons. And I always tell my growing story to my friends, and I hope we can grow up together.

Now I share it on my blog, hope it will trigger your heart!

Love is very simple and is also very complicated.
What we need to do is growing in good ways little by little, improving our relaiton day by day, then we can enjoy our love more amd more.

                       100% 快乐的生活是在爱和梦想中不断成长