暖冬cool夏

这里一年四季温暖如春,没有酷暑没有严寒......
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A July' s Weekend Journal

(2017-07-23 11:04:33) 下一个
7:10 am. There I was again, sitting in the backyard with yesterday's WSJ,   a cup of warm water and a blanket, in this crispy summer morning. The sun is shining brightly beyond the backyard. The sky is cloudless blue. It will be another warm day today, maybe.
 
Woke up around 6:15 am, and spent more than half an hour doing nothing in bed, letting the body and mind drift afloat between the half dream and the reality. Finally got up before  the clock ticked at 7am and put the porridge in the high pressure cooker, preparing for the 皮蛋瘦肉粥, one of the daughter's favorite breakfast.
 
Last night, Mr. Fang, who is off chemo for his Stage 4 cancer, came again to the weekly Bible study. He sat next to me, and I asked about his current conditions. He said in a calm tone that the cancer has spread to the bone, and he is taking monthly injection to control it in the bone, but he stopped his chemo. His hair grows back completely, and he looks just like any of us. But who could tell that he is battling the late phase cancer and maybe his own fears. He is only 48 years old, and has three kids, with the oldest daughter at my daughter's age, and the youngest still in the elementary school. He talked about how indifferent the doctor is, who never explained to him and who simply followed the procedure without much care or willingness to spend a bit more time taking his case individually. The doctor seemed to be not happy when Mr. Fang refused to take his advice of continuing chemo endlessly till the body cannot stand it. He did not know if the doctor was not happy as his refusal of chemo stopped the doctor's money inflow or if there were other reasons. He said that he would like to take the risk of stopping the chemo, to have some quality in life. "Since continuous chemo could not guarantee the complete killing of cancer cells, it could only prolong. But to what extent? If I don't die of cancer in the end,  I either die of a destroyed immune system or live like a skeleton".  I asked if he could do something like controlling food intake, but he answered that there is no proof or scientific evidence that limiting your diet to veggies will keep cancer at bay. The only thing you can do is exercise and keep a good mood.
 
Coming back home last night, I talked to the daughter about him, whose daughter she is acquainted with. Though miracle did happen once in a while, I felt sad to just imagine a girl like my daughter may become fatherless one day.  My daughter tried to explain to me how cancer develops from a cell splitting uncontrollably, and I advised her how to stay possibly stress free, and exercise more in the future.
 
One more week before the daughter heads off to her first formal job and starts her new chapter of life. She has had  the most relaxed and best summer this year. She sleeps a lot, eats happily and reads at her pleasure.  One day when I shared an article in my blog, she mentioned to me that one day she may write her novels or short stories. Yes, live your dreams  to its fullest when you are young. The sky is the limit.
 
Back from buying other breakfast and grocery around 9:50 am, the daughter was in the kitchen area. I was cleaning the sink, and said to her in Chinese. "总觉得你在家日子不多,不叫你做家务。不知道妈妈是在爱你还是害你。” She responded instantly in a resounding and happy voice, ”妈妈你这是在爱我”. All right, I said to myself, enjoy the "love" then. The days will be soon gone. Like yesterday, you drove all the way to LA and back,  a very long distance for the first time, with Dad and Mom sitting by your side. Not long, you will be entirely on your own, financially and geographically, on the long journey towards your future and your dreams. Though we will be no longer by your side physically, you are always on my mind and in our blessings. 
 
We love you, baby !
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暖冬cool夏 回复 悄悄话 回复 '菲儿天地' 的评论 : 菲儿好!谢谢菲儿!新一周快乐!
菲儿天地 回复 悄悄话 回复 'ziqiao123' 的评论 : +1非常感动!
暖冬cool夏 回复 悄悄话 回复 '彩烟游士' 的评论 : 游士好!明天爬不了了,倒不是天热, 家里有客。祝游士暑安!
暖冬cool夏 回复 悄悄话 回复 '时隐时现' 的评论 : 时隐mm好!我是学英文出身的,其实也写不过那些非英文专业的,只是想练练笔。关键在于女儿要愿意读,她倒是现在愿意学中文了。时隐mm 的中文和诗写得都极好,极有内容。让我们一起坚持!周末好!
彩烟游士 回复 悄悄话 暖冬好!又是周末了。大热天还爬山吗?周末快乐!
时隐时现 回复 悄悄话 问好冬夏MM。你真棒!把身边的所见所闻和感受用英文写出来,让下一代也能读懂。这是个好方法。可惜我的英文太烂。
周末愉快!
暖冬cool夏 回复 悄悄话 回复 'Once-always' 的评论 : Sorry, oncemm, I almost missed your comment. Kind of busy these days. You are absolutely right that life is so unpredictable. Each time when such things happen around us, it is a wakeup call. Let's never take things for granted and embrace and cherish every moment with gratitude. Thanks for your liking and visit.
Once-always 回复 悄悄话 Just got to read Cool mm's another nice English piece. The story about your church friend is painfully touching. Life is so unpredictable. There is nothing we can do but to embrace and enjoy every moment of it. The tenderness and subtlety underlying your words always touch my never. Your girl is lucky to have such a passionate mom.
暖冬cool夏 回复 悄悄话 回复 '7grizzly' 的评论 : Hey, my friend, your comment always has something new and enlightening for me to think. You are so right that given his conditions, it is very hard to keep exercising and a good attitude. I think he has a strong will to live on. Who wouldn't? The Bible study group used to have some people who work in the medical area, and they have the similar opinion regarding the chemo. I guess given the pain, a person who went through chemo once wouldn't easily take it again if they see no future. Let's keep our fingers crossed for him that it won't come back. Thanks for your loving heart and caring.
7grizzly 回复 悄悄话 Against cancer, not many cures work 100%. But if one has the will to live, especially at such a young age, he should try everything. It's very hard to keep exercising or a good attitude when one is in bad physical condition. Of course, your friend must have known that but does he really know?

Out of great love comes great courage (慈 故 能 勇). To be able to love is to be blessed, I think.
暖冬cool夏 回复 悄悄话 回复 'erdong' 的评论 : 迩东好!生活在北美其实生活很单调的,也就这些内容。就一个女儿,做父母的,不爱她爱谁啊?谢谢迩东临博。祝好!
erdong 回复 悄悄话 暖冬的周末很丰富。
对朋友的关心,对女儿的爱溢满文字里。
暖冬cool夏 回复 悄悄话 回复 'ziqiao123' 的评论 : 子乔好! Thank you for your visit. The reason you are touched by my journal is that you too have a soft tender heart. I was saddened that night to know that it spread to the bone. He is only 47 when first detected last year. Life is fragile, Ziqiao. Let's make our every moment count.
暖冬cool夏 回复 悄悄话 回复 '狮子羔羊' 的评论 :
狮子好! Glad that you like those key words. Life is short, and we should enjoy and cherish every moment. Let's all live a quality life while we can without leaving much regrets. Thanks for your visit!
暖冬cool夏 回复 悄悄话 回复 '夕阳影里一归舟' 的评论 : 归舟妹妹好!You are right that she will learn more once she has no one to rely on. That is the meaning of being independent. I actually advised the friend to seek a second opinion, but he said now after chemo, his virus in the blood shows normal and no doctor will take it till it is abnormal. It is really important to stay healthy in the u.s. Thanks for your comments.
ziqiao123 回复 悄悄话 My eyes welled up with tears while reading your essay , the love to your daughter, the caring to your friend, and the sentimental softness came from your heart, I\'m so moved.\n
狮子羔羊 回复 悄悄话 读了好几遍,几个词一直在脑海里打转:mother, daughter, love, enjoy and blessing 还有一句话living one's life to its fullest.

暖冬真是好妈妈,很赞同你的教会里的方先生,quality over quantity!
夕阳影里一归舟 回复 悄悄话 Your love for your daughter is of no doubt. Once she is on her own, she will learn more. So sad for your friend, probably he should change a doctor or hospital. There is always hope. Bless him.
暖冬cool夏 回复 悄悄话 回复 '彩烟游士' 的评论 : Thank you, Scholar You, for your liking and blessing. Thank you for your visit, and you have a great new week too!
彩烟游士 回复 悄悄话 A very moving essay! Wish your daughter the best in her new job. Cheer up and have a wonderful new week.
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