2018 Chinese New Year: An Old Friend

I had dinner with J, my high-school chum. We hadn't seen 
each other for over 10 years but I spotted him right away in
the lobby. He lost some hair but was about the same size and
height. I was glad he didn't turn pear-shape. He obviously
had taken good care of himself.

Last year, J left his job for an opportunity, made a bundle, 
but couldn't get back to his cushy old post where he spent
most of his working life. "The company is downsizing and
prefers young people." He said in a sad voice: "Our time has
passed." Age-discrimination is the phrase in the West. In 
China the practice is complained about (by older people), 
but not incriminating or even frowned upon. People just
accept it.

I reminded him of how thankful he should be. Owning multiple
apartments in Beijing, he's financially free. But the phrase
"mid-life crisis" came to mind --my friend seemed troubled
and looking for something to spend his life on now that a
regular career, if possible, would not be satisfying. He
said he would love to write a novel and told me of his plan
to leave the nation's capital for a smaller city in the
south. Both sounded great to me.

We talked about health, of course. He believed that a man in
his 40s should no longer aspire to becoming strong but
should "pay attention to and maintain" his body. This seemed
to be the prevalent mid-to-old-age attitude toward health in
the land of the Dragon. My dad in his infinite wisdom kept
warning me: "don't go too heavy" when I told him about my
progresses in weight lifting. He wouldn't tell me how much
was "too heavy" though. Both reminded me of the freakishly
strong dudes I know of in their 50s or 60s back in the US.

When talking about life abroad, I mentioned Bruce Lee, the
most popular Chinese outside of China. Someone said he 
"single-handedly made being Chinese sexy." His physique,
stunts, and movies made him the big star but, to me, it was
really his understanding of the Tao that made him enduring
in the western mind. To my friend who seemed to be going
through a slump, I offered this quote: "Do not pray for an
easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."

[7grizzly]

回复 'GraceX' 的评论 : Thank you, Grace, for reading and your kind words. The world is a dark place and we face challenges everyday if not every moment. The quote clearly tells one to try to pursue strength instead of "easiness," whatever that means, in life.

[GraceX]

7 grizzly, you are a very positive person.
Your high school friend already has more than most people have. He doesn't need to worry about money anymore. Economic freedom gives him many opportunities to pursue his many dreams which most people dream about. Focusing on what we have rather than what we don't have makes our life easier and happier.

[7grizzly]

Thank you, 暖冬, for reading and your story.

No. That alternative never crossed my mind, honestly. I burnt the bridge before going abroad and never looked back.

As for the guy in your story, quality, let alone the meaning, of life seemed boiling down to money the limitations of which I have still more to learn about.

[暖冬cool夏]

This is another great post. Did it ever come across your mind what your life would be if you chose to stay in Beijing? I know your life here is just as good. There was a story about a Chinese guy who sold his house in Beijing and immigrated to the Northern America for better life. With the money from selling the house, he started his restaurant business. The business went on well and he sold the restaurant in the end. He went back to Beijing, thinking of buying a house for retirement, only to find that with the money he made and saved for all these years, he can only afford the same small one he sold 20 years ago.......