1 羞涩的男人/A Shy Man
A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together.
But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So, he calls her on the phone, "June."
"Yes, this is June."
"Will you marry me?"
"Of course, I will! Who's this?"
My husband, Brian, is a computer systems administrator. He is dedicated to his job and works long hours, rarely taking time off for meals.
One afternoon, Brian was over-whelmed with solving a computer network problem, so I decided to deliver a meal for him to eat at his workstation.
When I was getting ready to leave, I said good-bye and reminded him to eat his burger and fries while they were still warm.
Staring at his monitor, he waved me away. ″Don't worry, ″ he said, obviously distracted,″ I'll deleted them in a few minutes.″
3 这次没有/ Not this time
A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later, delivered a baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified to find an incredibly-ugly baby.
He went to his wife and said, "I cannot possibly be the father of that hideous child. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered."
When his wife blushed, he became suspicious, and demanded, "Have you been fooling around on me?"
His wife confessed, "Not this time."
4 三条理由/Three Reasons
Teacher: Stone, give me three reasons why you know the Earth to be round.
Stone: Ma says so, Pa says so, and you say so!
5 结婚多久了/ How long have you been married?
When a woman in my office became engaged, a colleague offered her some advice.
″The first ten years are the hardest, ″ she said.
″How long have you been married? ″ I asked.
″Ten years, ″ she replied.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep.
"Hard work never kills anybody." But why take the risk?
God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
When two’s company, three’s the result!