1 不要动/Hands off
A friend of mine was giving an important dinner party for her husband's business associates.
She put guest towels and soap in the bathroom, and, not wanting her teenagers to use them first, attached warning notes that read: "Use these, I'll kill you."
When the guests left after a successful evening, she went into the bathroom and found towels and soap untouched…with her warning notes still on them.
2 真情/True feelings
We were leaving a football game in a throng of people.
My husband, who never displays affection in public, took my hand. I was delighted. As we walked hand in hand out of the stadium. I looked up at him, smiling, and asked, "You don't want to lose me?"
"No," he said. "I don't want to look for you."
3 广告的威力/The Effectiveness of Advertisement
Some businessmen were talking about advertising on TV excitedly. As none of them had ever done it before, everyone had his point of view.
At this moment, Mr. Grey came by. Grey was a car dealer and he had once made an advertisement.
"What are you talking about?" Mr. Grey asked.
"Does advertisement work or not?" one of the businessmen asked.
"Oh, yes, it works very fast," Mr. Grey said. " I once advertised for my watch-dog and offered a reward of $100."
"Did you get the dog back?"
"No, but that very night three of my cars were stolen."
4 是我啊/That's Me
In a darkest night, a policeman watches a staggering man trying in vain to unlock a door. "Is this your home?" the policeman asks.
"Sure, I'll prove it to you if you help me." Inside, the man explains, "You see, this is my bedroom. And this is my wife."
"And who is the man next to her?" the policeman wants to know.
5 顾客永远是对的/The Customer Is Always Right
The manager of a shop was yelling at one of his staff.
"I saw you arguing with a customer," he said crossly. "Will you please remember that in my shop the customer is always right? Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir," said the assistant. "The customer is always right."
"Now what were you arguing about?"
"Well sir, he said you were an idiot."
6 粉红色的西瓜/Pink Watermelon
A fruit vendor in Philippines sold a watermelon to a woman and assured her that it was very sweet because it was red inside.
As she rode home on a bicycle, the vehicle skidded and the watermelon fell to the street and broke open, the woman was surprised to see that the fruit was pale pink but not red. So she returned with it to the vendor and complained loudly. "Madam," replied the vendor, "when one falls out of a vehicle to the street, one can expect to turn pale. How about a watermelon?"
当这个女人骑车回家时，车子打滑西瓜掉在地上摔得裂开了，女人吃惊地发现这个西瓜不是红瓤的，而是浅粉色的。 于是她返回去找水果商高声抱怨。 “夫人。 ”水果商回答，“如果一个人从车子上摔倒在地上，也会吓得脸色发白。 更何况是西瓜呢？”