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从一首歌看美国的子女教育

(2010-03-27 08:43:34) 下一个
这首歌是【Numb /by Linkin Park】The song spent six weeks at the top of the chart in 2003 and six weeks in 2004, making it the only song in history to be the most successful song of the year on the Hot Modern Rock Tracks chart for two years. 这首歌也是儿子最喜欢的之一,应该是中学生或大学生对父母说的话,看歌词:

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
...你们总是告诉我该怎么做,烦死了!

Every step that I take is another mistake to you
...不论我怎么做,在你们的眼里总是错的,我已经麻木了,累了,不想这样了,

All I want to do is be more like me and be less like you
...我只是希望我像我自己,不是像你们,

Can't you see that you're smothering me?
...这个 s-mother 词很有意思,不知和mother 有没有关系,这不仅仅是烦我是窒息我!事实上伟大无边的母爱,有时也有可能太沉重,以至于孩子承受不了。

Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
...你期待我做的每件事都在你眼前失败,越是如此你越要把我紧紧抓住不放松,。。。我一秒钟都承受不了了

And I know I may end up failing too. But I know you were just like me
With someone disappointed in you
...我知道我可能不成功,你呢?也一样吧(你达到了你父母的期望了吗?)特别是中国父母,对孩子的期待总是很高,你自己怎么样了呢?

如果看这首歌的视屏,里面的那个女孩子看着很乖的,喜欢画画(也许是父母要求的),却没有同龄孩子的快乐,都不爱和她玩,以至于她自己非常地苦恼,最后似乎听到了这首歌,把自己的画砸了。

西方的这种教育就是对孩子少管,让孩子们自己发展。这确实可能成为成功人士,譬如比尔盖茨或戴尔,记得两位好像都是大学没有毕业的。但是这种人能有多少?毕竟还是少数的。东方的教育理念对孩子的管理一般来说很严,有些父母希望在孩子的身上创造辉煌,达到自己的理想,这也不好。凡事都不能强求,让孩子能够发挥自己的能力,学习好的同时也要有一个幸福的童年,这是一个很难很难的事。给你举几个例子,如果在下面的情况,你会怎么办呢?

1. 这个女孩成绩优秀,相貌出众,今年大学最后一年。父母要给她买车子,她坚决不要,计划自己毕业后骑自行车横跨美国,父母非常担心她的安全。

2. 这个男孩成绩优秀,毕业于某名牌大学数理统计系,目前在一家大公司工作,工作也不错。可是最近他表示要辞去工作,去拉斯维加斯专职赌博,他认为他赌博能赚更多的钱。

3. 这个女孩成绩优秀,名牌大学博士毕业,有一份不错的工作,找的一个丈夫却是成天在家,似乎也没有找工作的想法,也不怎么做家务,父母希望女儿能劝她丈夫找一份工作。

个人觉得按照东方的传统,总是要想办法干涉一下的,何况还有“子不教父之过”呢!能影响多少算多少吧,但是尽可能不要让子女们觉得“烦”了。


I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know I may end up failing too
But I know you were just like me
With someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
[ 打印 ]
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评论
丁庄秀园 回复 悄悄话 回复树子的评论:
说得太好了!何况大学只是一个起点,孩子最后的幸福,成功,对社会的贡献,是有很多因素决定的。孩子对幸福的标准和父母的标准是不一样的,
树子 回复 悄悄话 我们对孩子的期望,往往会过高,带来的失望也更大,对孩子的压力也大。其实,期望高些,本来没有错;错的是把自己没能做到的,或别人做到的,不现实地强加给小孩。我看子女坛最近有人发言,讽刺“(这坛子),除了藤校是大学,其它大学都是社区学院”,有点不寒而栗的意思。
丁庄秀园 回复 悄悄话 回复tudou!的评论:
谢谢你!我很想听听各位怎么回答,我会多少管一点,还不够潇洒
tudou! 回复 悄悄话 1,2,3 家长啥都不应做, 不能做.
只又2是家长的教育失败,需要反思.在美国,一等一的人是:1.发明家,如Steve Jobs.2.白手起家的企业家,如Bill Gates.

BTW,Bill Gates的母亲对他是有管教的.Gates退学,他的妈妈气昏!
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