美国人辨别中国人的88种方法

文章来源: tmmm 于 2004-02-14 09:59:05

http://web.wenxuecity.com/BBSView.php?SubID=joke&MsgID=17503

 

不好意思,朋友发给我的时候是英文的.懒的翻译了,大家应该都看的懂吧.如果群众们要求看中文版本的要求比较高,那就麻烦下班主了.

88 Ways to Know If You're Chinese
> > >
> > > 1. You look like you are 18.
> > >
> > > 2. You like to eat chicken feet.
> > >
> > > 3. You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
> > >
> > > 4. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging on your rear view mirror.
> > >
> > > 5. You sing karaoke.
> > >
> > > 6. Your house is covered with tile.
> > >
> > > 7. Your kitchen is covered by a sticky film of grease.
> > >
> > > 8. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
> > >
> > > 9. You leave the plastic covers on your remote control.
> > >
> > > 10. You've never kissed your mom or dad.
> > >
> > > 11. You've never hugged your mom or dad.
> > >
> > > 12. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
> > >
> > > 13. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".
> > >
> > > 14. You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade.
> > >
> > > 15. Your hair sticks up when you wake up.
> > >
> > > 16. You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.
> > >
> > > 17. You love to use coupons.
> > >
> > > 18. You drive around looking for the cheapest petrol.
> > >
> > > 19. You drive around for hours looking for the best parking space.
> > >
> > > 20. You take showers at night.
> > >
> > > 21. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.
> > >
> > > 22. You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room.
> > >
> > > 23. Most girls have more body hair than you, if you are male.
> > >
> > > 24. You tap the table when someone pours tea for you.
> > >
> > > 25. You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.
> > >
> > > 26. You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is
> > > uncomfortable.
> > >
> > > 27. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.
> > >
> > > 28. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can reuse the
> > > paper.
> > >
> > > 29. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50%
> > > off.
> > >
> > > 30. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
> > >
> > > 31. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. That's why
> > > you need the vinyl tablecloth.
> > >
> > > 32. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time.
> > >
> > > 33. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
> > >
> > > 34. You have never used your dishwasher.
> > >
> > > 35. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
> > >
> > > 36. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
> > >
> > > 37. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
> > >
> > > 38. You have a piano in your living room.
> > >
> > > 39. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your
> > > mouth).
> > >
> > > 40. You twirl your pen around your fingers.
> > >
> > > 41. You hate to waste food.
> > >
> > > 42. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or
> > > one leftover chicken wing.
> > >
> > > 43. You don't own any real Tupperware - only a cupboard full of used
> > > but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam
> > > jars.
> > >
> > > 44. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
> > >
> > > 45. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take
> > > every time you stay in a hotel.
> > >
> > > 46. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (travel
> > > means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). These snacks are always
> > > dried and include
> > > dried plums, mango, ginger, and squid.
> > >
> > > 47. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
> > >
> > > 48. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
> > >
> > > 49. The dashboard of your Honda is covered by hundreds of small
> > > toys.
> > >
> > > 50. You don't use measuring cups.
> > >
> > > 51. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
> > >
> > > 52. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
> > >
> > > 53. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since
> > > calling information (*69) costs 50 cents.
> > >
> > > 54. You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
> > >
> > > 55. If you are male, you clap at something funny and if you are
> > > female, you giggle whilst placing a hand over your mouth.
> > >
> > > 56. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions.
> > >
> > > 57. You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
> > >
> > > 58. You've learnt some form of martial arts.
> > >
> > > 59. Shaolin actually means something to you.
> > >
> > > 60. You like congee with thousand-year-old eggs.
> > >
> > > 61. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached.
> > >
> > > 62. You never call your parents just to say hi.
> > >
> > > 63. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if
> > > you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
> > >
> > > 64. When you're sick, your parents tell you not to eat fried foods
> > > or baked goods due to yeet hay.
> > >
> > > 65. You know what yeet hay is.
> > >
> > > 66. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only 10
> > > feet apart.
> > >
> > > 67. You use a face cloth.
> > >
> > > 68. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat places.
> > >
> > > 69. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or
> > > electronics.
> > >
> > > 70. You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never
> > > going to use them again.
> > >
> > > 71. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
> > >
> > > 72. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
> > >
> > > 73. You know what moon cakes are.
> > >
> > > 74. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and
> > > store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who
> > > has moved out.
> > >
> > > 75. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.
> > >
> > > 76. You iron your own shirts.
> > >
> > > 77. You play a musical instrument.
> > >
> > > 78. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to
> > > throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
> > >
> > > 79. You've eaten a red bean popsicle.
> > >
> > > 80. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you
> > > visit people's homes.
> > >
> > > 81. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
> > >
> > > 82. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or
> > > law.
> > >
> > > 83. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they
> > > prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live
> > > in the apartment
> > > next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood.
> > >
> > > 84. You don't tip more than 10% at a restaurant, and if you do, you
> > > tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
> > >
> > > 85. You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.
> > >
> > > 86. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the
> > > last piece of food on the table.
> > >
> > > 87. You know why there are 88 reasons.
> > >
> > > 88. You see the truth in this and then send it to all your Chinese
> > > friends.