For my entire life, there is one thing that I’ve been persistently thirsting to do, that is to ask questions. There hasn’t been one day passed that I do not grill the world I live, or thingI do and am about to do it.
When I say “asking questions", it does not necessarily mean I'd pop my questions to people who are surrounding me or close to me. As the matter of fact, most of my questions have never even been vibrated through sound waves or electron, and most of times I’d conjure up a Q and A session in my mind similar to the way that you’d play chess game with yourself without an opponent sitting across you.
Arguably, human brain/mind is one of the most fertile and expendable ground in the universe, to make an inquiry and then assemble the reasoning and reply in my head is kind of fun activities I actually enjoy a lot, which I see it as it’s resemble as a tug of war in irresolution and self-absorption (figuring thing out).
I have to confess such habit does not always produce assuasive outcomes; in many instances when the answers I sought finally become available after vigorously pursuing with curiosity, they were surprisingly different from my initial hypothesis, if not disappointing. But, I still believe if there is something I don’t know, I should set out to find it out. It can be fun and rewarding experiences regardless of the results. Believe it or not, if we could travel back to examine human history, I bet that almost every advance we have achieved might start with a simple question by someone who wanted to getan answer to it.
There is an interesting thing in Chinese society, No one seems appreciating questioning. When I was in schools in China, most teachers and professors I had were not too keen about students’ questions, particularly the one they believed contained a hint of remonstrance in it. Even at home parents would not normally encourage childrento ask why, especially if the questions touched the subjects such as money or sexuality. For example, my grandparents and my parents all received ,at least, college education, but if I bought up something related to human bodies, especially it came to the female body, I would be discouraged by them without exceptions. In many case, they would pass my questions to each other as if it were a hot potato. I remember once I asked my father “Why is human's most pleasure zone right locate at the waste disposal facility?” He looked at me with his eyebrows crumbled, and then turned his face to my mother “Can you answer his strange question?”My mother must be amused, she was laughing so hard that her tears were coming out. I was absolutely “shamed” by their “cruel” treatments. Well, lessons were learned for me: staying away from taboos even at home and not all the questions have answers. Nevertheless, by same token, then I made my mind to manage my inner pull between the urge for going after unknowns and seeking the keys which soothe my mind in the end, and the opposing reality for not getting into trouble by asking the questions at the right time, the right place and to the right person(s).
Based on my observation and personal experience, asking a good question and subsequently and fortunately getting the answer is one of most challenging but exhilarating aspects of life.
So what is my point you may ask to write about this piece? My point is that my New Year resolution in 2012 is a simple one :to ask more good questions with enthusiasm and figure the answers outwith diligence.
I know, not every question has a good answer, but there is a silver inning, if lucky enough, an really sufficing answer can address many tough questions at the same time. When that occurs, someone would hit the “jack pot”. :)
I know you are straight.
I have never considered your dream absurd either. (You want to retire at age 45)
The rich old man was a father figure. The young lad was son figure. That was ALL.
On the other hand, self-made wealthy men do not retire. They are driven to make more!
Good luck with everything. :)
Please make no mistake; I am a straight guy and only interesting in girls. :)
After a glass of Bollinger Grand Annee, the rich old man put his arm around the young lad's shoulder and said: " You know, we are almost the same, except for the fact that I have four submarines."
However, you are that young lad. That rich old man was not you. OK? :)
Your reply did amuse me big time! Home run! And, no major errors. I know you could do it. (LOL)
Happy New Year To You and Your Family.
I hope that you didn’t imply anything more than the realm of learning and appreciate good writings given the fact I am a straight guy who is preferring straight thingies. :)
Please indulge me as if I were your editor to make some modifications for the first paragraph in your previous reply:
After a glass of Bollinger Grand Annee vintage 1982 paired with the finest Beluga Sturgeon caviar from the Caspian sea, the working man from the accused one-percent of the noble lineage let his eyes linger on the acerbated face of the girl who was among those angry protestors camped in Zoccotti park sighed “Actually you know, you have a better life than me,” smiling at the seemingly perplexed girl, he continued “the only thing you do each day is to grow your hair.”
To amuse you a little, please permit me to quote a small passage written by John Kenney, an ultra-liberal.
We’re angry. We’re angry at something we’re calling “imagined frustration.” By this we mean that, except for Congress, the White House, banks, major lobbyists, and the editorial boards of Fox News and the Wall Street Journal, no one is listening to us. And we’re tired of it.”
Happy Chinese year to your and your loves!
After a glass of Bollinger Grand Annee, the rich old man put his arm around the young lad's shoulder and said: " You know, we are almost the same, except for the fact that I have four submarines."
In other words, have I made my point, clear, as well? :)
Jeez, If you’d leave your comments in someone’s blog, chances are, some people might mistake you as my proxy ID, a ghost writer with new vest. :) (For the record, I’ve never used any proxy id to write or comment in WXC because I don’t believe it is a good practice in the first place.) Just kidding you. That being said, your writing style does have some elements resemble to mine. Is that scary ? :)
That is good to hear that you are on the right track for the job, which you are look forward to getting off the bed in the morning to start a new day, and in the meantime that pays your bills.
I think you should use everything in your power to pursue what you are intend to do in your heart – the calling. After all, It’s your life, you are obligated to yourself for taking matter into your own hands by all means. If you’d let your dream slip away from your grip, you might have to share the blame one way or the other.
To make you feel slightly better, let me share with you my own trek on the career front. From the early age, I showed keen interest in reading and money( more accurately to say, make money with the resources.) On one hand, my folks believed that none of these whimsical interests were good enough to build a successful career as they did. So I did/fulfilled their requests to study subjects by trying to follow their footprints; on the other hand, I was not very happy about my life and struggling not let my dream vanish. When the first year I arrived in this country, after a long and painful deliberation, I made my mind to go after what I want for all my life. In retrospect, I think that detour I took was one the best decision I ever made. Further, what I learned in my undergraduate class did not waste at all since it have been providing me with some different angles to look at things. Oftentimes, those knowledge allows me to have some insights and unique perspective to approach the problems and get solutions.
Comparing with the material satisfaction I have achieved so far, the most satisfying part is that my parents who then were very critical about my decision over career route, now turned around and gave their blessings to me finally. In short, I was vindicated.
The point is that since we only live once, we are better to do something we'd like and to be rewarded at the same time. To us, men, career choices may have the second most import impact on our life behind the marriage according to the survey. Hopefully about ten years from now when I'll turn 45 years old, I’d be able to retire from the street and start to write the stories in a farm corralled by lots of sugar maples trees along the Hudson River and harvest the maple syrups in the spring. :) Yes, it may sound comical and absurd now, but it’s possible, I believe.
Please don’t be too sensitive about the error you’d make. Granted, grammar error may give some people cringe, leaving impression of sloppiness. But, to most people that is not the most important part of the writing; in fact, these human errors would be dwarfed by the points and sentiments that an author aroused in readers' minds. I, myself, make lots grammar error in almost everything I wrote, at certain time, I do that on the purpose to show my imperfection. For example, in the recently comments I left in 九月‘s post, I left my raw thoughts and edited one together as one piece to make a statement, of course, not many people get it, yet I bet one or two might get my point. In short, making mistakes is normal, there is almost no perfect writing existing if you use the standard grammar rules as the yardstick to measure sentence by sentence. But who cares, let the middle school language teachers to make the corrections. FYI, few of those grammar ladies become authors at the end. Why, please ask yourself. :)
To entertain you, now, please analyze the last sentence of Simom Rich’s “Center OF The Universe“ published in the recent issue of New Yorker magazine as following: “On the seventh day, God quit His job. He never finished the earth.” Please tell me how many errors he’s made. In other words, have I made my point, clear ? Please don’t answer this question, okay ? :)
First and foremost, I totally agree with your assertion: No pain, No gain. Yet, my case is slightly different. To make a long story short, I have to admit that I once betrayed my true interest for the sake of more pragmatic concerns.
Secondly, I strongly believe that the driving forces behind career decisions should be nothing other than individual interest, passion, and ability. It is impossible for anybody to keep the momentum going to advance in any career when the job is meaningless and unfulfilling. The cruel reality remains: many people’s first real job out of school, for better or worse set them on a track that could be difficult to switch later. -Could be prohibitively expensive as well-
To make the long story even shorter, I have to admit that my circumstance has improved, and it is my turn to chase the rainbow. There could be many reasons why anyone wants to write well. Mine is simple: I wish to keep sharpening my tools until the end of the time. Nowadays, I am more interested in the intangibles that produce good writing – confidence, enjoyment, intention, and integrity.
In addition, I strongly believe that the essence of writing is rewriting. Just because they’re writing fluently does not mean they’re writing well. The word processor has made a good writer better and a bad writer worse. Good writers welcome the gift of being able to fuss endlessly with their sentences. Bad writers become even more verbose because writing was suddenly so easy and their sentences looked so pretty on the screen. How could such beautiful sentences not be perfect?
Finally and most importantly, please permit me to correct myself. In my previous respond I wrote “Know when to stop. That is a sign of intelligence.” Those sentences are grammatically incorrect. I wish to replace them with one sentence: Knowing when to stop is a sign of intelligence.
Thank you for your time, your patient and your kindness. -From my loving heart to yours-.
If you decide to live in this country let’s say for a while, learn to speak and write good English is essential since people may judge your capabilities by your communication skills. So please continue embarking your journey to conquest your goals in leaning and practicing your English at any chance you’d get. Further, please don’t be afraid to be laughed by others for mistakes you may make, who don’t. That is no big deal when you consider them as the necessary costs for your investment. No pain no gain.
I am learning how to write well, in English. I have a LONG ways to go. Thank you for your kind comments.
"How about let’s stop here before thing get out of hands."
Know when to stop. That's a sign of intelligence. :)
What you wrote was pretty good, it caught me a bit by surprise, a nice one though.:)
Suppose you didn’t bring up the taboo word – greed, I would not dare to say it here since such vice is reserved for men’s moral downfall especially for those in my line of work. But the truth is that women could be more avaricious than men. How about let’s stop here before thing get out of hands. Besides, I still want to live peacefully in the universe. :)
I almost beguiled myself to agree with your interpretation of God’s intend for men and women to have some fun, but I paused by my cynical nature. “if something is this much good, there must be a catch.” I murmured underneath my breath. Yes, in fact there is daunting one right glowing in front of me, “On the seventh day, God quit His job. He never finished the earth.” Rich Simon seemed finishing his article with a tad regret/blue for someone’s failure.
BTW, please don’t be discouraged by the fact – there are a lot of young talents out there. Who knows maybe you are one of them, too.
Thank you for your thoughtful observations and a good dose of humor.
Yes, I read the New Yorker magazines. I study them everyday.
As I see it, Rich has overlooked one important fact though: Mens life would be much easier if those damn women just want to be the center of the universe. The truth is a lot worse: they want the entire universe as well. Call it greedy!
Your “why-s and how-s” illustrate one thing and one thing only: we all want a map--right now, that we could follow unswervingly to career security, financial security, social security and, presumably, a prepaid grave with a beautiful woman waiting.
However, God wants to have some fun too. Overall, he has a sense of humor too.
Here is the bottom line: Men and Women are going to fight this love-and-hate-war until Hell Freezes over --- and then, they will fight it out on the ice.
To be honest with you, I do not know anything about Simon Rich. Your reply piqued my curiosity. I had to look this “Rich” up. Holly Cow! To make peace with myself, I murmured underneath my breath-- “No competition, No Ego.”
I merely want to share a good laugh with a witty mind. Thank you for humoring me.
九月独处: Sorry for “manufactured” a malicious rumor to ruin your steller reputation. :( If that hurt your feeling or ego inadvertently, please accept my sincere apology, okay ?
FYI, in case you don’t know, by now no one would doubt your Chinese language capability; your works have already spoken themselves. In the meantime, you have to let your worries that originated from your fears. go even you think that you might be not ready yet. :)
As you have stated in one of your resolution of 2012, -Will let your confidence and grace take the lead please get ready set go. So, when an insecure, inadequate and insensitive guy like me to torture you a bit for some fun, you, lady 九月, would be able to show him some kindness, tolerance, and generosity, would you ? :))
sunnydayr70: Why are you so eager to finish your privilege of the pass? You should keep it for the time you need most. :)
Okay, since you are insisting, let me try to answer the question. Yes, I would be stunned by a very beautiful and sweet lady in first sight, losing my cogitation power for a short moment so. However, oftentimes I’d quickly calm down and start evaluating and analyzing my options and purposes. In many cases, my brain would function better and faster when romantic tension and fondness are being built up.
Here is a thing, to me if a gorgeous girl is lack of brain, taste or manner, her power of beauty would be discounted significantly in my mind. Fortunately, I have met many attractive women in my life. Most time, my experiences are positive, rewarding and delightful, but in some occasions, captivating beauties would demanded high level maintenances and made my life difficulty in many areas not to mention to have to spend extra time and pay lots of attentions.
Please remember if a normal guy tells you that he does not like charming and alluring ladies, that would be not true. In the meantime, If you believe every guy will fall into beauty-trap, you could be brain-washed too. :))
Many times, beauty is in eyes of beholder, there are some thing are equally and even more beautiful from ladies beside physical attractions.
虚席以待: “After reading the article, maybe you would consider yourself LUCKY!” Yes! that is absolutely correct! I was the fortunate one, imagining if my question was being asked to a “wrong” person in wrong time, the pain inflicted on me from someone’s answer would be unbearable. :))
It is easy for you to say since you are not one of us, and you don’t know how much we have to put up and suffer through because of your ladies’ demanding behaviors. :((
I don’t know you are a New Yorker magazine reader. Simon Rich did it again, it is just so hilarious and hysterical! I am betting he will be taunted and clubbed by female readers this time, too. Put all of his exaggerations and sarcasms aside, he may have a very good point about the constant battle better BF and GF. Sometime I am completed baffled by God's reason: Why he created women for us to show his mercy to save us from the loneliness, yet he never told or hinted us that his gift to us can be so much troublesome. The worst part is that there is no manual or warnings or possible side effects from him either. How could he did that to put us in dangerous and harm’s way? :))
One key issue that Simon Rich implied in his essay was that women need men’s constant and undivided attention 7/24. Which is absolutely against our natural, you guys should be aware, our attention span is about one hour at maximum. As a result, the discrepancies between two sides are grossly mismatched. :)
Simon Rich’s wording in this piece is so funny and so true, and even his location references in the city have meanings in them .
Thank you for sharing, appreciated!
纵然，上次我的free pass没有兑现，因为九月说她没有给我pass，但我也不想就此放弃。九月又在她的博客里胡闹了，还有一大群才子帅哥们的坚强支持，笑死我了，赫赫赫。我也想听一听她的＂香焦朋友＂的声音，不知你是不是也会＂短路＂呢？
这次应该不难吧？:)))))
FYI, it is Center of The Universe.
After reading the article, maybe you would consider yourself LUCKY! (LOL)
Co: "Hey, stop dissing me! You hurt my feelings, and I just can’t take this anymore. :(" ---- so,what are you going to do? will you "我不如找一块豆腐，撞死算了：（（" as a friend, I promise you, I'll call 911 immediately if that situation happens, Ahaha-haha......
You're absolutely right, "After all , they are not the only Chinese in this city , who are able to speak and write native language",who love China! The only thing I would like to ask them was that when they put their hands on their hearts,swore in front of the American or Canadian flag,were they for real? :-( :-(
"step upon your tail accidentally"? oh,no, not at all,I really appreciate your effort in replying to my friends,your responses were very friendly,respectful and humorous, except the part of spreading some kind of rumor of my "三天三夜，废寝忘食" language ability,Ahaha~~~
Sunny is using the "free pass" you gave her,to her full advantage,she is so naughty,isn't she? since it's your pass, you got to handle it,I won't...Let's see how cute you are this time :-):-)
Sunny,remember,I didn't give you any "free pass",alright?! :-) :-)
Your are welcome! I'd like to thank you for your braveness and determination to undertake this self-punishment and unpaid task. For that, you got me my respect since you've earned it without demanding.
I did leave some brief comments for your readers as instructed, will try more if time permits.
BTW, please don't get mad at me if I'd step upon your "tail" accidentally by replying your fans remarks. :(
Are you trying to set me up for another failure ? I always thought you are on my side, you can't just switch your positions so fast, considering the trouble you've already got me into . :)
“…虽然不及俺 …” Hey, stop dissing me! You hurt my feelings, and I just can’t take this anymore. :(
Seriously, you are right - a ”yes” for my daydream and a “yes” for my inferior Chinese. But, by writing my comment in Chinese in your blog post, I’ve made an attempt to let naysayers know : After all , they are not only Chinese in this city , who are able to speak and write native language. Moreover, I was able to show my support to you without shouting and yelling. Hopefully your critics/foes may think twice before jumping to the conclusion too quick next time.
呀，九月不要生气啊。溜。:))))))
Alright, I think the city finally fixed the system bugs,you can leave comments now. I just saw people are crowed under the "Maple Tree", anxiously waiting for the author's signatures. Haha-Haha~~~
Thanks again for the beautiful story! :-):-)
今天好累。。。下午三个小时的presentation，they grilled me，but my effort was not wasted，I got what I wanted :-) :-)
刚刚读到你在我blog里的留言，不禁大笑。。。你真是在白日做梦呢？啊！～～不过鼓掌，看来你还是有一定中文功底滴，虽然不及俺，啊哈哈哈～～太累了，脑子不大好使，暂不在我那里给你回言了，明天早上头脑清醒时再回击你哈！～～
You sound with a pinch of blue/regret for the your experience in the city. Please don’t be, What you mentioned can be categorized as the learning curve, you win some, lose some and become more skilled at the end. Look the bright side, judging what you have done for such a short period time, you should pat yourself on the back for your accomplishments. True, there were some moments you wish you could have done better, but this is the point - to except the imperfection.
As the fight in the city, I don’t think you should be particularly worrying about that. In some level, you have become a “public figure” in this community, therefore you may be subject to public scrutiny, which I think it is healthy thing for you to face and deal, and it can be invaluable experiences for personal growth in a longer term.
One more thing, please don’t be distracted by those negative comments left in your blog in the past or future. It’s no big deal. Please be tough and soft at the same time, never let them knock you down on the floor. :))
How about this, let me give you a phrase for your pre-Chinese New Year gift: “Stay positive and stay focused.”
Just came back from a 2-hour kick-boxing session,a leaner, fitter,simple-minded and happier pig is my new year resolution#2 then (#1 is less blogging & happy blogging)~~~
Your list of the 4 "costs" are all reasonable. Here for 1,I don't worry too much,since I always believe that friendships are just like love,if it's yours,you won't lose it,if it's not yours,you cannot force it;for 2, no worries,I'll still hold you as my hostage,hahaha...for 3 & 4,I've done my translation yesterday afternoon (I'm trying not to be a perfectionist,that is my new year resolution#3,it took me about 1.5-hours,including finding a picture and a music to go with it),I'm QQing the post to you in a few minutes.
Thanks so much for summarizing/commenting in that "banana-mango" post, appreciate. Don't mean to keep you as a hostage, don't mean to ignore my readers,just thought that I've addressed my opinions in my post,people would love to see what you'll say,what other people's thoughts and insights...
You're right,I'm not very good in "fighting". I've been trained to negotiate with respect,not fight and shout...Some of my friends in this city who have "witnessed" me gone through over a year of blogging, told me that I was extremely naive when I just entered the city,sigh,I guess I've been away from "our people" for too long,maybe a "mango" should be my new year resolution #4,Aha-Haha~~~
I'm planning to stop writing for a little while,but as soon as I'm back,the "Maple Tree" will be my first post (I love this story,call it childish or not~~~)
Now, tell me what is my next "cost"? Let me decide if I should be defensive or not :-) :-)
Great day,happy day~~~~
I’d let you make your own choice, either way you’d elect, I am totally fine with it. Sorry for the ambiguity in my wording in my previous reply. Let me explain the “cost” that made you nervous, taking a defensive posture. The downside for you to burden in the event if you’d use my short story would be 1. Some of you current net friends may start “deserting” you for some reasons. 2. You may run into some sticky situation which you will have to defense yourself and me at the same time when critics make their “hostile” commentaries 3. you may lose some precious sleep over seeking the most eloquent translation you could pull off to reflect your interpretation. 4. You may find yourself facing the dilemma of perfection and pressure, and there could be no an easy way out. Hopefully, rationales above would clear the air and fear in your suspicious mind.
Apparently there are no offensive and mean-spirited “banana haters” picked on you, That is indeed a good news. I am telling you sometime you have to stand up for yourself. If you’d have a dog, you’d know that a dog can sense human’s fear and take advance of it. :(
Hey, that is not fair to hold me as your hostage in terms of replying your readers’ comments, that is your responsibility and obligation to maintain cordiality and high standard of blogging.
Oh well, since this is your first “offense”, I’ll see what I can do to showing some “leniency” on you. Again, it may cost you! :))
Oh,there are skinny type pigs? :-) :-)
I did 15-miles today, no “tree stump”,but油条豆浆~~~
"I have to warn you first that it may cost you later",what cost I got to pay,be stoned & attacked? Now you're making me rethink my proposal,Haha :-)
Great weekend, enjoy your retreat! I opened the commentary area,so far so good, I won't respond till you chip in~~~~
Now for your request of my childish short novel that I wrote few years back, you may take it as you wish, but it I have to warn you first that it may cost you later.:))
Let’s see if you can translate my original intents and sentiments for ladies who lost their loves in the Iraqi War. It may help if you could combine my two pieces together as the foot notes of your work for reader’s reference for two languages with the same idea. (it’s not the language rather the thought that matters in the end.)
Please have a great weekend with lots of physical workout minus the “tree stump” part !
Morning, 纵然君~~ thanks for answering my questions~~ you are right,to ask or not ask, is a to-be-or-not-to-be question.Yet, I also believe there are certain people who are just not capable of thinking and asking, it's not really their choice, they just have very "simple" brains,hahaha,but,you could also argue, the more one uses his/her brain, the more sophisticated it will get :-)
Regarding my Q#3, I have a little bit different view. I agree with you, people who think less tend to be happier, but,I don't think the cause of "pain" for people who think more and ask more questions are mainly from "by the burning question and disappointing answers", I think it's because many questions really don't have the right or wrong answers, or, at least,not one single answer, or, the answers are out of human's imagination,or...that makes us frustrated sometimes, makes us feel lonely some other times...-) :-)
With these said, I would like to be a simple-brained-pig, if there is a next life, so I can be happier,Aha-Ha-Ha :-) ^&*
BTW,wanted to tell you the other day I read your novel "糖枫树下的处女情", I was impressed, even thought I should ask for your permission to translate this novel into Chinese,shall I? :-) :-)
A great day!~~~
I am hoping I might answer your questions
Question#3: who do you think is happier, the one who asks lots of questions, or the one doesn't think to figure it out really matters?