Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.
(We take you now to the Oval Office.) George : Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi : Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George : Great. Lay it on me. Condi : Hu is the new leader of China. George : That's what I want to know. Condi : That's what I'm telling you. George : That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China? Condi : Yes. George : I mean the fellow's name. Condi : Hu. George : The guy in China. Condi : Hu. George : The new leader of China. Condi : Hu. George : The Chinaman! Condi : Hu is leading China. George : Now whaddya' asking me for? Condi : I'm telling you Hu is leading China. George : Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China? Condi : That's the man's name. George : That's who's name? Condi : Yes. George : Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China? Condi : Yes, sir. George : Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East. Condi : That's correct. George : Then who is in China? Condi : Yes, sir. George : Yassir is in China? Condi : No, sir. George : Then who is? Condi : Yes, sir. George : Yassir? Condi : No, sir. George : Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. Condi : Kofi? George : No, thanks. Condi : You want Kofi? George : No. Condi : You don't want Kofi. George : No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. Condi : Yes, sir. George : Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N. Condi : Kofi? George : Milk! Will you please make the call? Condi : And call who? George : Who is the guy at the U.N? Condi : Hu is the guy in China. George : Will you stay out of China?! Condi : Yes, sir. George : And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N. Condi : Kofi. George : All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. (Condi picks up the phone.) Condi : Rice, here. George : Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East? |